About diving : I've been sky diving, rocky mountain climbing, scuba diving but I haven't ridden a bull. Message me if you want to know more. I've also zip lined, raced sled dogs, skied, surfed and flown a plane.
diving's FML badges
What'cha looking at?
You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.
Keen reader – Level: godlike ninja
You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
You have shared 20 FMLs on Twitter, your followers love you and we can understand why.
diving's favorite FMLs
Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML
Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML
by anahira6 / 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm / United States (Texas) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/27/2013 at 3:08pm / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous
Today, I started my new job at a restaurant I really like. As I waited on my first customer, I suggested that he try the apple pie, because it's my favourite. He looked up at me and said, "Yeah? Figures! Lay off 'em, porky!" FML
by -_- / 09/22/2013 at 2:00pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, for the fifth day in a row, I have awoken at 6am to the sounds of my roommate's guest's child screaming. If it's anything like the last four days, the child will continue to randomly screech every fifteen minutes or so for the next five hours. I work 13-hour night shifts. FML
by Anonymous / 09/22/2013 at 7:36am / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, I attended an elderly patient's funeral. He died of a heart attack after his daughter, as his carer, stopped all of his meds in favour of a half-cup of garlic a day. Apparently she'd "read an article" about the healing power of garlic, which trumped my 6-year degree. FML
by Saddoc / 07/26/2013 at 3:58am / Australia (Western Australia) / Health
by Anonymous / 06/23/2013 at 2:55am / United States (Indiana) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend and I were getting intimate in the backseat of his car, when a police car pulled up behind us. My mom later told me that intimacy was fine, just not in a car. We were in the car because she told me that intimacy was fine, just not in her house. FML
by backseatbusted / 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm / United States / Intimacy
by Anon / 04/22/2013 at 3:19am / Singapore / Miscellaneous
Today, my boss told me that, while he respects the fact that I have my own style, I have to stop wearing "that hideous wig" because apparently, it "makes the clientele uncomfortable". I don't have a wig. It's my natural hair. FML
by hairdresser / 03/09/2013 at 4:05am / Australia / Work
Today, after months of a very healthy sex life with my boyfriend, he asked me to let him try anal. I'm dead-set against it, so I tried to let him down easy by jokingly saying that I would, but only if he let me try it on him first. He said, "Sure." Fuck. FML
by Anonymous / 02/23/2013 at 1:27pm / Denmark (Hovedstaden) / Intimacy
by notsobig / 01/29/2013 at 5:39pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I had to suffer through a two-hour long trivia game with my boyfriend's family. As if that wasn't annoying enough, my boyfriend caused the pair of us to lose by just a single point, because he answered "Quebec" to the question of "What is the capital city of France?" FML
by twohoursclosertodeath / 01/26/2013 at 5:57pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 01/26/2013 at 5:20pm / Denmark (Syddanmark) / Love
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…
- Today, I took my girlfriend out to a restaurant for her birthday. She had to go to the toilet while… Today, my mum picked up a bunch of tissues that were scattered around my room. She examined them,… Today, while having sex with my husband, he accidentally elbowed me in the face. I don't know which…