diver893

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Offline (the 05/07/2015 at 5:29am)

diver893

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 416
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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diver893's page activity

Visits<b>Machified</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 1:36am

diver893's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

diver893's favorite FMLs

Today, my new boyfriend and I really wanted to have sex, but he went soft as soon as he entered me. This happens every time we try. I feel cursed by my year-long dry spell. FML

by Anonymous / 02/06/2015 at 9:32pm / Netherlands (Noord-Holland) / Intimacy

Today, while trying some new kinky things with my boyfriend, he cried out, "Call me Jesus!" Yeah... I think we're done with that. FML

by BDSM4Jesus / 01/19/2015 at 11:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

by Death By Parent / 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

by Anonymous / 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm / Spain (Catalonia) / Intimacy

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

by weeping_angel_ / 07/12/2014 at 10:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

by foops / 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Just as he was about to finish, he pulled out and came in his hand. He then flicked his hand towards my face and yelled, "Sha-ZAM!" FML

by zamwow / 12/20/2013 at 6:36pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, while looking for some socks in my mom's dresser, I found a male g-string and an edible bra. FML

by Rob / 12/18/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, at the exact moment that I leaned over to show my dad a picture on my phone, my boyfriend texted me: "I'm no weather man, but you can expect a few inches tonight." FML

by Anonymous / 04/17/2013 at 1:39am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

by wetsheets / 01/07/2013 at 8:01am / United Kingdom (Cardiff) / Intimacy

Today, I ran into my boss outside of work. She smiled, and started trying to have an in-depth chat with me. I wouldn't have minded, if it weren't for the fact I ran into her at a club, whilst they were having an S and M theme night. And we were both fully dressed up for it. FML

by jobsearching / 11/21/2012 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (Bristol, City of) / Work

Today, I discovered a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decided to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticed that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature. FML

by Jugan / 10/19/2012 at 5:44pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

by tuggernuts / 07/17/2012 at 11:32am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

by WaffleMan / 06/08/2012 at 7:58am / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

by Anonymous / 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy