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diver893

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diver893

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  • Number of visits : 18
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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diver893's page activity

Visits<b>Machified</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 1:36am

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diver893's favorite FMLs

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50449) - you deserved it (6786)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to make love for the first time. The moment my bra came off, he started hyperventilating to the point of blacking out. So much for that. FML

#21208053
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48549) - you deserved it (5134)

On 07/13/2014 at 4:00pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, I was watching adult videos in my apartment. I'm deaf, so I didn't realize my volume was at full blast until I put my hand over the speaker. FML

#21206881
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55668) - you deserved it (10963)

On 07/12/2014 at 10:00am - intimacy - by weeping_angel_ - United States (New York)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40960) - you deserved it (10317)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my partner was inspired by 50 Shades Of Grey to try making me orgasm with a full bladder, therefore intensifying the experience. He was right, it was mind blowing. It also made me piss the bed for the first time in twenty-odd years. FML

#20445950
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33874) - you deserved it (6899)

On 01/07/2013 at 8:01am - intimacy - by wetsheets (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

Today, I discovered a way to send a massive number of text messages to someone simultaneously, so I decided to do it to my friend as a prank. I quickly noticed that I forgot to disable the delivery notification feature. FML

#20124484
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4252) - you deserved it (34099) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/19/2012 at 5:44pm - misc - by Jugan - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I was using a penis pump for the first time. It was awesome until it sucked my left testicle into the tube. I'll be singing soprano for a while now. FML

#19949637
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11426) - you deserved it (39267)

On 07/17/2012 at 11:32am - intimacy - by tuggernuts (man) - United States

Today, I was in a business meeting. I was giving a Powerpoint presentation to my boss and a few other associates. Then a notification popped up in the middle of my presentation reminding me that I needed to renew my pornhub subscription. FML

#19754220
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12737) - you deserved it (43064)

On 06/08/2012 at 7:58am - work - by WaffleMan (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41236) - you deserved it (3376)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, I promised my boyfriend a blow job every time he does the dishes. Every dish in the house has been washed three times already. FML

#15718627
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19281) - you deserved it (65886)

On 04/10/2011 at 1:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was sitting on the bus when a good looking girl accidentally brushed her ass up against my shoulder as she walked past. This only made me realize that this has been the closest I've come to touching a girls ass in over a year. FML

#14597808
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26176) - you deserved it (5545)

On 01/16/2011 at 2:49am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML

#7585326
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7833) - you deserved it (22605)

On 01/26/2010 at 3:59am - intimacy - by sexyfail (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was opening up to my close friend about my low self esteem. To make me feel better, he told me that he gets a boner whenever he walks behind me. FML

#6474999
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19387) - you deserved it (6699)

On 11/27/2009 at 4:20am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend told me how I am too occupied with work for our relationship. Before we had sex I told my friend to call me in ten minutes so I can pretend its my boss and I would throw the phone away to impress her. He called me in ten minutes, but I only lasted five. FML

#717975
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24926) - you deserved it (83443)

On 03/31/2009 at 12:41am - intimacy - by Alex (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend and I ordered sex toys online and had them delivered to my dorm room. I put my parents' address for the billing information because I didn't want the bill sent to my dorm after I moved out. The toys were sent to my parents house instead. FML

#145480
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16279) - you deserved it (72660)

On 02/26/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by JessP (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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Friday 14 November 2014

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