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divali's favorite FMLs
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
by failureparent / 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm / United States (California) / Geek
by mugged / 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Animals
by dollarstorepwnr / 03/19/2011 at 1:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML
by :/ / 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was forced to attend a fire safety class, as required by my job. Last year, I completed the fire academy as a volunteer fireman. The class was not only insulting, but wrong in many ways. I got kicked out for pointing them out. I now have to take it again, or be fired. FML
by peeved / 02/17/2011 at 8:47pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by sexyredhead / 02/14/2011 at 1:14pm / United States / Love
by bride / 02/14/2011 at 1:24am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Roxas / 02/14/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by drivencrazy / 07/06/2010 at 12:42pm / United States (Ohio) / Transportation
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
by buhknee / 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML
by Wowfmylife / 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm / United States (California) / Transportation
by apav / 06/11/2009 at 7:52am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work
Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML
by BigBadTron / 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (Utah) / Kids
- Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because…