Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

divali

Search for a member

divali

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 30 June 1989 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1062
  • Number of comments : 24
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About divali : This member HAS filled in the description.

divali's page activity

Visits<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 08/09/2014 at 12:37pm<b>sybyabraham</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 8:35pm<b>alfalfalaffa</b> - the 04/22/2014 at 10:57pm<b>shivamtrivedi</b> - the 02/20/2014 at 4:03am<b>Allornone</b> - the 05/14/2013 at 11:14pm<b>Shrimpy35</b> - the 04/10/2013 at 7:17pm<b>sandman24551</b> - the 12/18/2012 at 11:26am<b>Dillonislame</b> - the 09/01/2012 at 5:13am<b>vnecksonmybed69</b> - the 05/10/2012 at 10:33pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 02/23/2012 at 12:38pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:49pm<b>twistedline</b> - the 02/17/2011 at 1:05pm<b>Dannybtw</b> - the 01/15/2011 at 8:30pm<b>jetpackzach</b> - the 01/08/2011 at 10:18pm<b>masterbaker11</b> - the 11/12/2010 at 8:01am<b>otheirrationalme</b> - the 11/10/2010 at 9:46pm<b>LaL26</b> - the 11/10/2010 at 5:50pm<b>hempat</b> - the 11/05/2010 at 6:29pm

divali's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

See all of divali's badges

divali's favorite FMLs

Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML

#15405912
489 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34714) - you deserved it (48687)

On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

#15401896
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34857) - you deserved it (4340)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my dad cussed out an individual on the phone because he thought it was a telemarketer. He was my Indian girlfriend's father. FML

#15377212
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39608) - you deserved it (4501)

On 03/19/2011 at 1:37am - misc - by dollarstorepwnr (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
402 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7278) - you deserved it (96750)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was forced to attend a fire safety class, as required by my job. Last year, I completed the fire academy as a volunteer fireman. The class was not only insulting, but wrong in many ways. I got kicked out for pointing them out. I now have to take it again, or be fired. FML

#15020187
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25325) - you deserved it (5300)

On 02/17/2011 at 8:47pm - work - by peeved (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in class when someone came in with a rose for me. My teacher made me read the card aloud: "I'm breaking up with you, happy Valentine's." It was from my boyfriend. FML

#14973711
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44018) - you deserved it (3103)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:14pm - love - by sexyredhead - United States

Today, I dreamed I was getting married. I was wearing a white dress, had incredible cleavage and perfectly done makeup. Just one problem. I'm a guy. FML

#14968643
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46810) - you deserved it (9271)

On 02/14/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by bride (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

#14967692
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34296) - you deserved it (2845)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Roxas (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, while driving, a girl on her cellphone cut me off. A second later, another person behind me on a cellphone rear ended me. Her excuse was, "I'm sorry, you weren't there a minute ago!" FML

#11698354
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35011) - you deserved it (2606)

On 07/06/2010 at 12:42pm - misc - by drivencrazy (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

#7179468
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47208) - you deserved it (2245)

On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I realized that our generation will be remembered as the kids who liked sparkly vampires. FML

#6439149
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70175) - you deserved it (12067)

On 11/24/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by buhknee - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my ex showed up at my door with chocolates and flowers. I've liked him since I was 13, starting dating him when I was 15. He proposed when I was 22. I am now 24, and yesterday was our wedding day. He didn't show. FML

#4644175
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68493) - you deserved it (3633)

On 08/18/2009 at 11:59pm - love - by Wowfmylife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was woken up by a loud noise, which I thought was an earthquake. It sounded like a car had driven right into my living room. Which was exactly what it was. FML

#4264267
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54815) - you deserved it (2091)

On 08/03/2009 at 8:25pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had my first appearance in a court as an attorney. I called the prosecution the prostitution. FML

#2796637
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78817) - you deserved it (22095)

On 06/11/2009 at 7:52am - work - by apav (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my girlfriend was sick so I took her 5 year old daughter out to eat. Half-way through our "date" she asks me loudly "Can we go back to the car now and take our clothes off?" Apparently she meant her toy dog's clothes. Face burning, we left a half laughing/half glaring crowd behind. FML

#1962553
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43481) - you deserved it (2812)

On 05/15/2009 at 1:10pm - kids - by BigBadTron (man) - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: