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About divali : This member HAS filled in the description.
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Today, I had to lie to my female roommate about what happened last night. She was drunk and spent half the night cuddling with me and trying to get me to kiss her. I've loved this girl for two years, but I promised her I wouldn't let her cheat on her boyfriend with anyone. Even me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51225) - you deserved it (8082)
On 06/15/2011 at 2:00pm - love - by anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40991) - you deserved it (5621)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, Twilight once again won all the awards at MTV, beating out Inception, Toy Story 3, Harry Potter, etc. This is MY generation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74237) - you deserved it (6623)
On 06/06/2011 at 2:27am - misc - by KillMeNow (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was on my third date with a really hot girl. A guy walked by singing the Pokémon theme song. She started making fun of the guy, mocking his immaturity. I joined in order to keep the conversation going. Everything was going great but then my phone rang. It was the Pokémon theme song. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11786) - you deserved it (53704)
On 05/31/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by chickennbenchpress (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my identical twin sister got in trouble for sneaking out of the house to see her boyfriend. My father decided to ground both of us, because it would be "too confusing" for him otherwise. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49601) - you deserved it (3480)
On 05/05/2011 at 5:04pm - kids - by Monika (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I got pulled over. Suspicious that I'd been drinking, the police officer made me walk a straight line and recite the alphabet. I failed both. I was completely sober. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23867) - you deserved it (17237)
On 05/02/2011 at 5:30pm - misc - by spekledworf - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, at work, I spent half an hour trying to convince an elderly customer that no, I wasn't a messenger sent by the devil to take her soul to hell. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26615) - you deserved it (2358)
On 04/20/2011 at 10:15am - work - by rawr -
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14985) - you deserved it (20640)
On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -
Today, my manager told me to throw out some of the old toys at the daycare we work at. I can't because I've seen Toy Story 3, and thinking about them in a dump makes me cry. I'm 28. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26085) - you deserved it (11866)
On 04/19/2011 at 10:29pm - work - by Stupid (woman) - United States
Today, I sneezed so hard I fell down the stairs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23021) - you deserved it (5523)
On 04/15/2011 at 1:47am - misc - by HWS - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my friends sat me down and said they were concerned I was self-harming. I don't self-harm, I'm just a massive klutz. They don't believe me, and want me to get professional help. And now, because I found it all so funny, they think I'm mentally unhinged. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21613) - you deserved it (3148)
On 03/30/2011 at 1:28pm - misc - by Alisha (woman) - United Kingdom (Stirling)
Today, I woke up to a beautiful sunrise, the smell of bacon in a frying pan, and some dickhead trying to pick the lock on my front door. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (1821)
On 03/30/2011 at 12:14pm - misc - by Kingspin - Canada (Alberta)
Today, my girlfriend bought several bottles of Potassium Iodine pills and a gas mask, due to the radiation scare from Japan. We live in Texas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31862) - you deserved it (5295)
On 03/21/2011 at 12:25am - health - by radiationkillz (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend was buying a new hockey stick; to test it out he started hitting a ball around the aisle and decided to shoot it back into its bin. Instead the ball hit me dead in the mouth, giving me a fat lip. Instead of consoling me, my boyfriend yelled "GOAL!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (24799) - you deserved it (4692)
On 03/20/2011 at 11:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, in an attempt to get my son to stop playing Call of Duty, I threw his Xbox controller out the window. He was so desperate, he followed it. His bedroom is on the second floor. My son has 3 broken ribs, and no future. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27079) - you deserved it (35569)
On 03/20/2011 at 9:25pm - kids - by failureparent (man) - United States (California)
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