About discocroutons : Junior in high school.
Slight band nerd.
Extremely sassy when necessary, and I love breakfast foods.
I do hyperrealistic drawings, and love painting. Surrealism and pop art is also pretty cool, and am hoping to go into graphic design. (If you all care...) ☺️
About discocroutons : Junior in high school.
discocroutons's FML badges
I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Who’s the fairest of them all?
This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.
I’m your new creative director
You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.
discocroutons's favorite FMLs
Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML
by help me / 06/01/2014 at 11:51am / United States (Connecticut) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 04/05/2014 at 10:27am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
by you+me-clothes=53>< / 11/19/2013 at 12:13pm / Austria (Wien) / Intimacy
Today, my mom bitched me out for still being single at age 19, and still not having started a family. She considers this "immoral," yet showed nothing but praise for my sister, who's pregnant at 15 and doesn't know which of three guys is the father. FML
by failed brood mare / 11/17/2013 at 12:46pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
by Naomi / 11/10/2013 at 5:28am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids
Today, I've been awake for nearly three days due to homework and my mom's wedding preparations, so I took some adderall to keep me awake at school. I took too much, totally zoned out in class, became hopelessly fascinated by my own hand, and was accused of doing drugs. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2013 at 12:43pm / United States (Nebraska) / Health
by Where is the faith in Humanity / 11/07/2013 at 6:08pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
Today, my family got together for a big game of paintball. My grandpa wanted to play too, but I told him he was a bit too old for such a rough sport. He joined anyway, and spent the whole 2 hours hunting my dumb ass down. I'm now in constant pain after being riddled with paintballs. FML
by nl4 / 11/01/2013 at 7:55pm / Israel (Tel Aviv) / Health
Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2013 at 4:52pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, my weird neighbor is a conspiracy theorist and thinks the government is trying to kill him. Someone thought it would be funny to shine a red laser light through his window. I was on the stairs when he ran past, screaming bloody murder, sending me down a flight of steps. FML
by Anonymous / 10/14/2013 at 3:13am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, trying to be romantic, I started coming on to my wife while in bed, only for her to yet again say she wasn't in the mood. When I asked why she never is lately, she sarcastically blamed it on the government shutdown, then rolled over to go to sleep. FML
by (-__- ) ( ^.^) / 10/11/2013 at 5:00pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML
by hubby / 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML
by she knows / 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm / United States (Hawaii) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend accused me of cheating because according to him, our child does not have his hair color, eye color, or other facial features. Our son is five days old, bald and hasn't opened his eyes much. The closest thing I can probably compare him to is an old, wrinkly potato. FML
by thisguy / 10/08/2013 at 5:55am / United States (California) / Kids
Today, my husband yelled from upstairs, "Babe! BABE, COME QUICK!" Terrified that something might have happened to our newborn daughter, I rushed up, only to find out he just wanted to show me that he'd learned how to spin a top on the tip of his penis without it falling. FML
by -____- / 10/05/2013 at 5:28pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I received a phone call, angry at me for not calling my dad on Father's Day. When I told her…