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Today, my boyfriend came in to kiss me. Being sweaty and nasty, I said "Not now, I'm hot and sweaty." He looked at me blankly and said "So am I, just smell my ball sweat." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19993) - you deserved it (5062)
On 08/29/2011 at 11:06am - intimacy - by hopeless-.- (woman) - United States
Today, my husband, who's a recovering alcoholic, and I are on holiday with our kids. He's decided he can have a few drinks because he deserves "a holiday too". He doesn't see why this should ruin ours. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20432) - you deserved it (1933)
On 08/29/2011 at 7:17am - misc - by happymum - Netherlands (Utrecht)
Today, my mum gave me half-raw chicken for dinner. After she refused to cook it again, I threw it away saying that I didn't want to get salmonella. She told to be more grateful, and that I was an idiot for trying to use salmonella as an excuse because 'it's chicken, not salmon'. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30798) - you deserved it (2412)
On 08/29/2011 at 4:33am - health - by SoupCanoe - United Kingdom (Hampshire)
Today, while at my boyfriend's cousin's birthday party, I was hanging around with his sister as I didn't know anyone. She was talking to some friends when one of them asked her, "So, is your brother still going out with that crazy chick?" Her answer was to introduce me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21545) - you deserved it (3455)
On 08/29/2011 at 1:15am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while standing in line at the video store, I happen to notice a very hot young girl on the TV screen, and mentioned to my friend that I'd "hit that." I was immediately punched by the girl in front of me. Seems the hot girl on TV was her on a security monitor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8176) - you deserved it (31451)
On 08/29/2011 at 12:27am - intimacy - by helpless_soul - United States
Today, I found out that I was adopted. I'm 46 years old with 11 real siblings and no one bothered to tell me until I found the documents in my dead adoptive father's house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24835) - you deserved it (1469)
Today, I started my shift as a cop, patrolling the streets on a bicycle. Everywhere I went, gangs of youths yelled stuff out at me, like "Bike twat", "Pig on wheels", "That's a girl's bike you muppet" and "Go on wanker, do a wheelie." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21989) - you deserved it (5908)
On 08/28/2011 at 6:37pm - work - by Andrew - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, while bitching some girl out for spilling coffee all over me, she looks at me with accepting eyes and says after I'd finished, "I can understand your anger, big girls like you get grumpy when they're hungry." FML
I agree, your life sucks (9727) - you deserved it (30563)
On 08/28/2011 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I went in to see my piercer. He took one look at my piercing I got a few months ago and laughed saying "What a shit job, I'm sorry but that's pretty crappy because it's not even straight!" I then had to awkwardly explain it was indeed him who had pierced me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23807) - you deserved it (2592)
On 08/28/2011 at 6:41am - misc - by piercingfreak (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)
Today, my boyfriend decided to use glow-in-the-dark body paint to make an arrow on his stomach pointing down. I guess he thought he'd "spice up" the way he always demands a blow job before sex. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20608) - you deserved it (4353)
On 08/28/2011 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I woke up at 7am next to the man I swore I'd never get intimate with again. After trying to get back to sleep despite my shame and disgust, he ripped the loudest fart ever. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7309) - you deserved it (30700)
On 08/28/2011 at 2:37am - love - by JJAnd (woman) - United States (Arizona)
Today, I was at my family reunion. I've always hated my family. I walked up behind my husband and said, "I can't wait to go home and make love." My husband turned around. It was my uncle wearing the same hat as my husband. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14592) - you deserved it (25110)
On 08/28/2011 at 2:18am - intimacy - by dev - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I took a dump without checking for toilet paper. I then called my step dad, who said "use the stuff in the garbage." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18568) - you deserved it (3597)
On 08/27/2011 at 7:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I excitedly showed my new roommate my pet fish. She then told me about how she purposely starved her last fish to see how long it would take before they started eating each other before starving to death. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23130) - you deserved it (1824)
On 08/27/2011 at 6:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I finally landed a new job, and thinking he would be proud, I told my boyfriend. Instead of congratulating me, he got mad that my work hours include Saturday, his laundry day. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21800) - you deserved it (2864)
On 08/26/2011 at 2:26pm - love - by shampoogirl (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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