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disclaimertoself
  • Town/Country : SD, U.S
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2990
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About disclaimertoself : :)

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Today, I picked up a lady's dropped wallet and chased after her despite my sprained ankle. When I finally caught up with her, she smashed her chili sauce filled hotdog across my face and kicked me in the groin, accusing me of stealing her wallet. I was kept at the police station for 3 hours. FML

#17681011
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32119) - you deserved it (2271)

On 09/06/2011 at 3:40pm - misc - by fmlsrslyahhh - Singapore

Today, my boyfriend let me know that when we met, he wouldn't have even talked to me if I was as fat as I am now. But lucky for me, he stays with me because, "there's love or something." FML

#17679754
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26363) - you deserved it (11362)

On 09/06/2011 at 11:11am - love - by emopoe - United States

Today, I was on the toilet at work. After a very loud and very smelly session, I waited until the other stall had been vacated to keep my anonymity. As I leant forward for some toilet roll, my ID fell out of my pocket and into the next stall. When I came out, it was face up near the sink. FML

#17678479
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19304) - you deserved it (3872)

On 09/06/2011 at 4:06am - work - by Shamed - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain in great detail why it is inappropriate for my boyfriend to grab at my vagina in public. He did it again twenty minutes later. FML

#17677106
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28654) - you deserved it (6008)

On 09/06/2011 at 12:42am - intimacy - by foreseeingabreakup (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he didn't believe in marriage. His response was, "I believe in marriage. Just not marriage with you." FML

#17670643
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32989) - you deserved it (4977)

On 09/05/2011 at 1:05pm - love - by jellyybean - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I'm getting kicked out of my flat because my drunk friends stole a pony and left it tied outside. FML

#17669700
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23702) - you deserved it (2767)

On 09/05/2011 at 11:03am - misc - by thefrightening1 (woman) - United Kingdom (Cheshire)

Today, my grandmother pulled down her pants and screamed, "Kiss my ass" in the middle of a packed restaurant. FML

#17669006
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (2568)

On 09/05/2011 at 9:00am - misc - by Brie - United States (Georgia)

Today, I overheard my parents planning on how to get me to move out of the house. It's my house. They only came to visit and forgot to leave. FML

#17668711
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34804) - you deserved it (2499)

On 09/05/2011 at 6:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I broke up with my girlfriend. She responded by sitting on the floor, crying like a baby and screaming "WHY?" at strangers. FML

#17664853
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21577) - you deserved it (8413)

On 09/04/2011 at 9:27pm - love - by ddll (man) - Singapore

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

#17661211
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29922) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm - work - by -- - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend bitched me out for being too controlling. Apparently, not only am I being unreasonable by not wanting him visiting strip clubs with his friends, I'm also just "looking for excuses to get mad" at him. FML

#17661200
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24939) - you deserved it (15328)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:40pm - love - by inlovewithstupid (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I finally got intimate with the girl I like. As I started lifting her shirt, she stuck her hand down my pants and grabbed my junk. She immediately stopped what she was doing, snickered, and calmly said, "Take me home." FML

#17661103
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44157) - you deserved it (5322)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the condoms I bought a few years ago as a celebration of dumping my girlfriend due to a lack of sex, have expired. Every last one of them. FML

#17659023
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10586) - you deserved it (39641)

On 09/04/2011 at 3:01am - intimacy - by Gurior (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I found out that my neighbors took it upon themselves to knock down the fence we shared, and putting up a new one. Thus fencing my pool into their yard. When I asked them why, he replied, "We thought you weren't coming back." I was gone for 4 months tending to my sister with breast cancer. FML

#17658715
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33731) - you deserved it (1416)

On 09/04/2011 at 2:09am - misc - by Pool-less - United States (Missouri)

Today, my best friend and I were playing Call of Duty, when he said he had to go to the bathroom. Curious, I checked his phone. A text message read, "Tell your friend you're going to the bathroom and come eat. Pizza is here." from his dad. Apparently, I'm not good enough to feed. FML

#17657818
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31993) - you deserved it (6739)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:16am - misc - by Pizza-less - United States (Washington)



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