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disclaimertoself

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 3283
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About disclaimertoself : :)

disclaimertoself's page activity

Visits<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 9:10am<b>ilovepewdie</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 2:35am<b>chippa</b> - the 10/02/2012 at 3:26am<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 07/28/2012 at 5:18pm<b>nela25</b> - the 07/26/2012 at 12:38pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/21/2012 at 9:30pm<b>imaginaryvoice</b> - the 10/26/2011 at 4:58pm<b>Joshoa123</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 7:08am<b>Riiley</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 3:17pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:20pm<b>FlippinNick</b> - the 08/30/2011 at 5:41am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 08/27/2011 at 9:44pm<b>tehzilla</b> - the 08/15/2011 at 6:07pm

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disclaimertoself's favorite FMLs

Today, I went out on my back patio at night to skinny dip. I live on the intracoastal, and as I was walking towards my pool, the police were doing a random search. From a boat with a spotlight. At least their whistles told me they liked the birthday suit I had on. FML

#17749646
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19743) - you deserved it (8393)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:42am - misc - by Japaroni - United States

Today, my boyfriend proposed by painting his chest with "marry me?" and an arrow going down. The ring was attached to his penis with a string. FML

#17743940
293 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41131) - you deserved it (6171)

On 09/14/2011 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by ohmaigawd (woman) - Argentina

Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate and his friends using my bass clarinet to smoke weed. FML

#17742835
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31551) - you deserved it (5180)

On 09/14/2011 at 7:06am - misc - by funnymanjoe - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got kicked off the train because I refused to stand for an old lady who wanted to sit down. There was an empty seat right next to me. FML

Today, I was so lonely, I tried to hold hands with plastic "horror hand" I bought for Halloween. FML

#17734152
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22677) - you deserved it (8162)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:11am - love - by Penkkis (woman) - Finland (Lapland)

Today, I apologized to the cat for walking into the laundry room while he was using the litter box. FML

#17734128
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22982) - you deserved it (9314)

On 09/13/2011 at 2:05am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I woke up to the feeling of someone tickling my back. I quickly realized I haven't been touched in so long that I was smiling to flies landing on me in my sleep. FML

#17730120
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23590) - you deserved it (4062)

On 09/12/2011 at 7:03pm - animals - by GnarCarBar - United States

Today, I had a lady come in to order a pizza. She wanted to use a free delivery coupon. After telling her several times that she couldn't use a free delivery coupon, unless she was having the pizza delivered, she told me I have horrible people skills. FML

#17728264
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27775) - you deserved it (2553)

On 09/12/2011 at 2:32pm - work - by pea - United States

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85061) - you deserved it (13051)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML

#17727112
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28727) - you deserved it (12047)

On 09/12/2011 at 9:52am - animals - by squeak (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my 23 year old boyfriend of 2 years was forced to dump me, over the phone, by his mother. FML

#17726381
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31536) - you deserved it (2774)

On 09/12/2011 at 4:43am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was talking to my ex. After pouring my heart out to her, saying we were meant for each other, she looked at me and said, "Don't bother, I've already slept with your brother." FML

#17725319
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37598) - you deserved it (4754)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:53am - intimacy - by MTJY - United Kingdom

Today, I had a creepy old guy with awful body odor in my salon. As I was washing his hair, he brought up how he wants to start a garden, and how a woman's monthly flow weirdly helps to make it grow. Then he asked me if I can save up my used tampons for him. FML

#17724529
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35872) - you deserved it (2133)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:23pm - work - by fashionista1787 - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

#17718767
349 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39154) - you deserved it (7087)

On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)

Today, my father in law drunkenly announced at dinner that he wished my husband had married my best friend. No one stuck up for me. Not even my husband. FML

#17715893
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36443) - you deserved it (2916)

On 09/11/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)



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