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disclaimertoself

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disclaimertoself
  • Town/Country : SD, U.S
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2995
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

#5060
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16728) - you deserved it (6212)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)

Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML

#2979
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17173) - you deserved it (1456)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:47am - love - by uninspired - United States (Illinois)

Today, I convinced myself I needed to get over my ex-girlfriend. I spent twenty minutes signing up for a new dating site, only to find out, that the only other profile on the site of a person within 200 km, is my ex-girlfriend. FML

#1665
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16150) - you deserved it (1259)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by GopherJR - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I reached for my beer and took a huge swallow before I realized that I had picked up my friend's tobacco spit cup. "Vomit" is not a strong enough word to describe what happened next. FML

#1314
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19415) - you deserved it (4634)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:57pm - misc - by blegh - Switzerland (Ticino)

Today, the only girl I really loved said to me: I want you to be the father of my child, but I don't want to be your girlfriend. FML

#1230
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19487) - you deserved it (1086)

On 01/15/2009 at 11:12am - love - by J.Smith - Sent from mobile version

Today, at a rehearsal, a friend poked me: "My mother is in the orchestra, guess who she is!" I jokingly answer: "Erm…The fat singer?". It was. FML

#699
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5871) - you deserved it (16300)

On 01/04/2009 at 5:15am - misc - by LadyJane - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in an online chatroom speaking to this girl that I really hit it off with. She then confided in me that she'd recently been dumped by her boyfriend and that he was a jerk. A little while later, we exchanged photos. It was my ex. FML

#321
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35880) - you deserved it (5611)

On 11/17/2008 at 6:27am - love - by Darkheaven - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told a friend that he looked smarter with his glasses on. He took them off and said "oh, and now you look more handsome". FML

#141
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12204) - you deserved it (34660)

On 10/29/2008 at 7:08am - misc - by loser - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



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