disclaimertoself

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disclaimertoself

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 5412
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About disclaimertoself : :)

disclaimertoself's page activity

Visits<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 9:10am<b>ilovepewdie</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 2:35am<b>chippa</b> - the 10/02/2012 at 3:26am<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 07/28/2012 at 5:18pm<b>nela25</b> - the 07/26/2012 at 12:38pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/21/2012 at 9:30pm<b>imaginaryvoice</b> - the 10/26/2011 at 4:58pm<b>Joshoa123</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 7:08am<b>Riiley</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 3:17pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:20pm<b>FlippinNick</b> - the 08/30/2011 at 5:41am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 08/27/2011 at 9:44pm<b>tehzilla</b> - the 08/15/2011 at 6:07pm

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disclaimertoself's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my stalker ex-girlfriend named her new born son after me. FML

by cjy152 / 09/21/2011 at 10:44am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 9:17am / United States / Love

Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML

by unknown / 09/21/2011 at 8:40am / Philippines / Work

 Today, my mom is marrying my ex boyfriend's dad. The same ex boyfriend who I caught cheating on me with my sister. Family gatherings are going to be such a joy! FML

by AL / 09/21/2011 at 1:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that I have testicular cancer for the second time in two years, and they may end up removing my last testicle. Knowing full well I was also born with an extra rib, the doctor at the consultation joked, "Hey, you'll be three quarters of the way to being a woman." FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 7:54pm / United States / Health

Today, I was in class and really needed to pee. My teacher has chosen to replace our hall pass with a copy of War and Peace. She picks out a page for us to memorise on the shitter, and repeat by heart later. If we can't remember, we get locked out of class, and then get detention for being absent. FML

by Anonymous / 09/20/2011 at 5:25pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy who I hate commented on my Facebook profile picture that I "look like I've fallen off the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down." 60 people liked this, including my boyfriend and best friend. FML

by chloeguest97 / 09/20/2011 at 11:15am / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Miscellaneous

Today, my ex girlfriend is sleeping over at my house. At some point while she was preparing to dump me, she became best friends with my sister. FML

by Freechbear / 09/17/2011 at 1:21pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I had leg surgery. While I was recovering in the hospital, my boyfriend dumped me. I then had to ride home, a 2 hour drive, listening to my mother and aunt tell me he was the best thing to happen to me and I will never find a better man. Then the morphine wore off. FML

by anonymous / 09/17/2011 at 3:44am / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, my daughter-in-law revealed to me that she caught my husband having an affair with her best friend. This was five years ago, and she is only telling me now because he stopped paying her the blackmail money to keep her mouth shut. FML

by cheated / 09/17/2011 at 12:43am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I found out my wife and three daughters all have their period on seperate weeks. I now have no break from yelling. FML

by thedeerman / 09/17/2011 at 12:39am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I found a used condom in the fax machine. I'm the electrical maintenance repair for the company. I have to untangle it from the belts. FML

by Help / 09/16/2011 at 12:20pm / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. His response was, "Thank god, finally." FML

by Cora / 09/16/2011 at 10:10am / United States / Love

Today, I was working when I delivered the standard "Hello, how are you?" to a customer. He took the opportunity to tell me about his deceased wife, his estranged children, and his anal tearing. After a while, I tried to help someone else, and he complained to my manager. I was written up. FML

by MrTandy / 09/15/2011 at 10:38pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML

by Anonymous / 09/15/2011 at 4:03pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy