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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 6052
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About disclaimertoself : :)

disclaimertoself's page activity

Visits<b>MissDarkness</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 9:10am<b>ilovepewdie</b> - the 01/06/2013 at 2:35am<b>chippa</b> - the 10/02/2012 at 3:26am<b>munzapoppa</b> - the 07/28/2012 at 5:18pm<b>nela25</b> - the 07/26/2012 at 12:38pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 05/21/2012 at 9:30pm<b>imaginaryvoice</b> - the 10/26/2011 at 4:58pm<b>Joshoa123</b> - the 09/26/2011 at 7:08am<b>Riiley</b> - the 09/25/2011 at 3:17pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:20pm<b>FlippinNick</b> - the 08/30/2011 at 5:41am<b>WCARlover</b> - the 08/27/2011 at 9:44pm<b>tehzilla</b> - the 08/15/2011 at 6:07pm

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disclaimertoself's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out the reason why my therapist was so nice to me all of the time. Apparently, she is afraid that I'm going to stab her if she pisses me off. FML

by Josh / 09/27/2011 at 1:14am / United States (Missouri) / Health

Today, my nephew spent a long while enthusiastically telling me how amazing his new 3D TV system is. I felt his pain as his face turned white when he remembered that I'm blind in one eye since birth. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2011 at 12:15am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my parents took away my laptop, TV, Xbox, and car all because I broke up with my girlfriend. They said when I patch things up with her, I can have my stuff back. FML

by faded as shit / 09/26/2011 at 9:10pm / United States / Love

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/26/2011 at 2:52pm / United States / Work

Today, my fiancé told me his ex-wife was 5 weeks pregnant. I was happy for her, and glad she had finally moved on. Until I found out who the father was. They're moving back in together, for the baby's sake. FML

by xOdaatx / 09/26/2011 at 9:01am / Australia / Love

Today, I saw my co-worker sneeze into his palm, get up, walk to my desk and smear his hand all over my computer mouse. He then went back to his desk and continued with his work. Last week we had a workplace awareness meeting about my OCD and fear of germs. FML

by gotanewmouse / 09/26/2011 at 6:37am / New Zealand (Auckland) / Work

Today, my boyfriend preferred to delete his account than admit we are in a relationship on Facebook. FML

by lexyloo / 09/25/2011 at 9:52pm / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I bought a lanyard for my new car keys. "Epic Fail" was printed on it. Not two hours after getting it and putting my keys on it, I locked them in my car. I don't have a spare. FML

by Anonymous / 09/25/2011 at 12:18am / United States / Transportation

Today, my 5 year old daughter told me that I needed to stay 50 feet away from her at all times when we were at school, mostly because I didn't hang with the cool parents. FML

by Lolaa123 / 09/25/2011 at 12:03am / United States / Kids

Today, I was sent home from work early because of structural issues. I walked in on my unemployed boyfriend cuddling another woman on the couch. When I confronted them, he freaked out and kept trying to convince me that I was dreaming. I don't know what I ever saw in this loser. FML

by alone / 09/23/2011 at 7:04am / China / Love

Today, my wife got so upset I didn't hold her while Snooki from Jersey Shore was crying, that after the episode was done she locked herself in our room crying. Now I have to sleep on the floor of my living room. Thanks Snooki. FML

by drastech99 / 09/23/2011 at 2:22am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

by Storm / 09/22/2011 at 11:05pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, the shy girl in my class decided to bring a cake to share with everyone, since it was her birthday. Excited about the cake, I got everybody to sing "happy birthday" for her, only to realize too late that nobody in the class know her name, myself included. FML

by mortenp / 09/22/2011 at 12:44am / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was feeling unusually self-confident, so I decided to skip putting on makeup for the day. On my way to class, I passed some guys selling towels. One of them jeered, "Wanna be prettier? Buy a towel, and throw it over your face!" There goes my self-confidence. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 11:42pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife told me the main reason she married me is because I have a cool last name. FML

by Anonymous / 09/21/2011 at 2:39pm / United States (California) / Love