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disclaimertoself
  • Town/Country : SD, U.S
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2987
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

#17953738
431 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30634) - you deserved it (22433)

On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went on a date with a respectable, successful, polite, and attractive guy. Ten minutes into the conversation, I find out he's a neo-Nazi and earned a swastika tattoo in prison for "something shady." FML

#17949951
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26604) - you deserved it (2943)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:16am - love - by thatgirl - United States (Texas)

Today, I let a guy I like look at my phone. A second later I remembered I had a secret copy of his Facebook profile picture on there to show a friend what he looked like. I was forced to tackle him to get my phone back. FML

#17940122
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10330) - you deserved it (34224)

On 10/09/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Emily S - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend of 6 months started a bitter fight with me. The cause was me repeatedly refusing to dye my hair the way his beloved ex did. FML

#17937803
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29487) - you deserved it (3026)

On 10/08/2011 at 8:24pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was pulled over by the police. The cop was my ex-boyfriend. He had no legitimate reason to pull me over, so he thoroughly checked my car. He gave me a defect notice and a fine. What for? A broken door lock, on my rear passenger door. FML

#17927232
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29248) - you deserved it (3820)

On 10/07/2011 at 11:07am - misc - by jkass - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I could actually feel my toe hairs flapping in the breeze. I'm a girl. FML

#17926318
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21848) - you deserved it (15169)

On 10/07/2011 at 6:35am - misc - by Hairytoes - United States

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, a customer handed me the ankle-length hosiery she had just used to try on some shoes, and as I sat there feeling the warm dampness of them in the palm of my hand, she said "You should throw those away, I have a toe fungus." FML

#17916744
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26337) - you deserved it (2336)

On 10/06/2011 at 12:23am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML

#17913530
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27252) - you deserved it (5394)

On 10/05/2011 at 7:48pm - misc - by Pookaa (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20462) - you deserved it (15232)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, I was supposed to get married but we had to postpone as the best man fled the country. With the marriage certificate and vendor money. Not to mention the rings. FML

#17909341
132 comments

Today, I went to the movies on a date. I went to pay for the tickets when I realized that I didn't have my wallet. Instead of my boyfriend paying, he laughed and paid for his own ticket. Then he went ahead and saw the movie without me. FML

#17908594
304 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38574) - you deserved it (5281)

On 10/05/2011 at 12:16am - love - by myBFsucks - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I drove to the liquor store completely naked except for my dressing gown, with a carload of idiot stoners who ran in and stole vodka, tequila and whiskey. We drank in a bush. Last week I was a good citizen, and now I'm white trash. I'm not quite sure what happened in between. FML

#17908235
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7016) - you deserved it (55760)

On 10/04/2011 at 11:28pm - misc - by danii - Reserved

Today, my younger cousin bought his girlfriend of 3 months a bunch of flowers. The only flower I've ever got from my boyfriend of 3 years is a plastic one he found on the floor in a bar. FML

#17904987
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20913) - you deserved it (3700)

On 10/04/2011 at 5:08pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I saw a girl wearing a Nirvana shirt. Since Nirvana has been my favorite band for a long time, I tried striking up a conversation with her. Turns out she doesn't even listen to them, and only bought the shirt because she "liked the smiley face." FML

#17902155
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24747) - you deserved it (4429)

On 10/04/2011 at 4:57am - misc - by storksleuth (man) - United States (Nevada)



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