Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

disasterlydeed

Offline (2 hours ago) | Search for a member

disasterlydeed

5Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 26 May 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1972
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 16 posted

About disasterlydeed : yes I rlly do look like this stop f*%$ing asking me also fall out boy is a v important band

disasterlydeed's page activity

Visits<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - 22 hours ago<b>kylie31</b> - yesterday at 12:59pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 8:55am<b>haylburg</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 11:17pm<b>Angel1999</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 3:19pm<b>Zeuszara</b> - the 05/17/2015 at 10:36pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 03/14/2015 at 1:45am<b>KhalidAhmad</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 2:00pm<b>Goodtobebad</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 1:53pm<b>cskipgolfer2013</b> - the 01/02/2015 at 8:14pm<b>Enslaved</b> - the 01/01/2015 at 1:27am<b>Salvanoi</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 8:44am<b>annarcheer</b> - the 12/30/2014 at 12:41am<b>patrickeli</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 4:49am<b>bps315</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 1:05am<b>clarabulln</b> - the 12/25/2014 at 2:48pm<b>kayladayla</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:40am<b>Queen_Bitch69</b> - the 11/19/2014 at 11:03pm

Fucked!<b>haylburg</b> - the 05/21/2015 at 5:18am<b>Jeeper4Life</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:27pm<b>Angel1999</b> - the 05/19/2015 at 9:20pm<b>KhalidAhmad</b> - the 03/06/2015 at 8:00pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 1:53am

disasterlydeed's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of disasterlydeed's badges

disasterlydeed's favorite FMLs

Today, I waited tables for the first time at my new restaurant job. I asked a group of older men what they would like. One replied, "A slice of that ass". I'm 19 and a guy. FML

#21413610
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27087) - you deserved it (2446)

On 05/21/2015 at 4:41pm - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, it was the first time a guy has shown any interest in me by calling me pretty. I was so shocked that instead of saying thank you, I hid behind the nearest object and promptly giggle-snorted. FML

Today, while teaching my class, I hooked my laptop up to the projector and put on a documentary. I left it playing and went to the toilet. When I came back the whole class was talking to my mother. She must've Skyped me while I was gone and someone answered the call. FML

#21409928
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31685) - you deserved it (6962)

On 05/14/2015 at 8:42am - work - by HiddlePuff - Australia

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

#21408378
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30588) - you deserved it (4737)

On 05/11/2015 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, once again, I explained that yes, I'm Russian. No, I'm not a communist. No, I don't pray to a picture of Putin riding a bear. And no, I don't have any vodka on me. FML

#21408243
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30332) - you deserved it (3007)

On 05/11/2015 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I found out that my family and friends all laugh and compare me to Spongebob behind my back. Why? Because I'm 37 and still can't pass my driver's test. FML

#21391668
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28146) - you deserved it (16621)

On 04/11/2015 at 3:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I had my 18th birthday party. At midnight, three police officers showed up at my door and asked if they could look around. Were we doing anything bad? Nope. My friends suck at parking. Before they left, the officers said that this was the most toned down party they'd seen in years. FML

#21379703
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27202) - you deserved it (34)

On 03/22/2015 at 8:20pm - misc - by dicedicebaby - United States (Ohio)

Today, I overcame my lack of social confidence and got a date for the first time in 10 or so years. After a while, my date admitted that she's a schizophrenic with dissociative identity disorder. I guess it's back to being single. FML

#21371640
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26780) - you deserved it (6220)

On 03/10/2015 at 2:02am - love - by CrazyInLove - United States (Colorado)

Today, feeling in need of a self-esteem boost, I took what I thought was a good selfie and I put it on Facebook. Out of 500 friends, the only response I got was a picture of Saddam Hussein with the caption, "This is why I bomb people." FML

#21370942
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28617) - you deserved it (6959)

On 03/09/2015 at 2:01am - misc - by why they bomb - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was ringing up a woman at work. I saw she'd bought a birthday cake, so I smiled and said I hope whoever it was for has a happy birthday. She looked at me in disgust, told me to mind my own business, then called me a "chucklefuck bitch". Okay then. FML

#21345551
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28536) - you deserved it (2235)

On 01/28/2015 at 10:01am - work - by retailshell (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I found myself wondering if my sister's jaw makes the same clicking sound when she's giving head as it does when she's eating food. FML

Today, it's my birthday. My grandma posted about it on her Facebook wall, but people got confused and thought it was her birthday instead. She got twice as many birthday wishes as I did, and that's including the ones I got outside of Facebook. FML

#21308382
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29775) - you deserved it (2746)

On 11/29/2014 at 10:20pm - misc - by Drew (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was so lonely, I caught myself whispering to my food just so I had someone to talk to. FML

Today, I was so lonely, I caught myself whispering to my food just so I had someone to talk to. FML

Today, I spent all day making preparations and buying food for my upcoming birthday. It's not for a party, though - none of my friends wanted to come. I'm preparing for the launch of the new World of Warcraft expansion. FML

#21295219
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31064) - you deserved it (6546)

On 11/09/2014 at 2:51am - misc - by Anonymous -



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: