dirtynsweet

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dirtynsweet

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 14 December 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2739
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dirtynsweet : Message me if you wanna.

dirtynsweet's page activity

Visits<b>ptellini</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 2:15pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 6:53pm<b>grogers311</b> - the 04/07/2014 at 7:11pm<b>k_gils</b> - the 06/22/2013 at 3:12pm<b>karo_mit_k</b> - the 06/21/2013 at 6:54am<b>Trace01m</b> - the 10/04/2012 at 12:17am<b>youtubetre</b> - the 05/19/2012 at 5:59am<b>gemgamer</b> - the 01/30/2012 at 9:46pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:18pm<b>hellokitty3</b> - the 07/02/2011 at 1:54am<b>nephilim241</b> - the 06/19/2011 at 8:52am<b>sugarnspicee</b> - the 06/09/2011 at 3:06pm<b>mr_sphincter</b> - the 05/30/2011 at 12:10am<b>no1askdu</b> - the 05/28/2011 at 11:04pm<b>FrecklesXO</b> - the 05/25/2011 at 2:46pm<b>skateitup4</b> - the 05/09/2011 at 2:26am<b>mercury23</b> - the 05/05/2011 at 12:55pm<b>jordanjr</b> - the 04/14/2011 at 8:50pm

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dirtynsweet's favorite FMLs

Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML

by lalala_hahaha / 09/23/2010 at 7:18pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML

by Anonymous / 09/22/2010 at 8:11am / Japan / Health

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

by embaressed / 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML

by whitefox123 / 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation

Today, I found out that my husband keeps in contact with the woman he was infatuated with in high school. He texts her more than he texts me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/19/2010 at 10:12am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML

by lifesuck / 09/19/2010 at 10:11am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML

by Bailey / 08/22/2010 at 2:58am / United States (Nebraska) / Kids

Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML

by Indigo_Kitten / 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML

by highlandgirl10 / 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Love

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML

by ManInTrouble / 03/16/2010 at 12:50am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was hit on by an older man. I rolled my eyes at him and informed him I was 16, hoping that would get him to leave me alone. He shrugged and said, "We're both human." FML

by creepster / 02/10/2010 at 8:39pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

by Anonymous / 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous

Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML

by doglover / 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML

by freylero / 10/27/2009 at 3:35pm / United Kingdom (Greater London) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.