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Today, I had some girlfriends over, while my parents were having a party at our house. My drunken dad decided to come down to the basement and show us all his third nipple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19321) - you deserved it (1877)
On 09/23/2010 at 7:18pm - misc - by lalala_hahaha - Sent from mobile version
Today, I decided to go for a run to try and work on getting in shape. Nine steps in, I slipped in some slimy moss, almost broke my hip on the pavement and gashed open my elbow. I'll be surprised if I can walk straight in the morning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15786) - you deserved it (2574)
On 09/22/2010 at 8:11am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan
Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (18291) - you deserved it (1822)
On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I was riding in the backseat while my mom was driving. Noticing she was driving way over the speed limit, I opened a police siren app on my iPod to make her slow down. When she realized, she pulled over, kicked me out of the car and made me walk home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11217) - you deserved it (28758)
On 09/19/2010 at 8:07pm - misc - by whitefox123 - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I found out that my husband keeps in contact with the woman he was infatuated with in high school. He texts her more than he texts me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23124) - you deserved it (2803)
On 09/19/2010 at 10:12am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)
Today, while at a local river, I had been pulled underwater by a very fast and strong current. While fighting for my life, I had let go of my sandals so I could pull myself up. After explaining to my mom what had happened to me, her response was "YOU LOST YOUR SANDALS!?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (21703) - you deserved it (2370)
On 09/19/2010 at 10:11am - misc - by lifesuck - United States
Today, I was in a public restroom with my 4 year old daughter. I took her in the stall with me, and as I was using the restroom she looked down and loudly asked, "Mommy! Why do you have a beard on your peepee?!!" Then I heard everybody in the stalls next to us laughing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35558) - you deserved it (9659)
On 08/22/2010 at 2:58am - kids - by Bailey - United States (Nebraska)
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20300) - you deserved it (13356)
On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I brought my boyfriend of a year and a half to meet my parents. Turns out he dated my mom. This should be a fun dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40169) - you deserved it (4301)
On 07/21/2010 at 4:31pm - love - by highlandgirl10 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was walking with my girlfriend of a year and a half on the beach. Everything was fine until she saw a plane with a banner behind it saying "Cassie, will you marry me?" She said yes. I didn't order a plane. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38283) - you deserved it (3113)
On 03/16/2010 at 12:50am - love - by ManInTrouble - United States (California)
Today, I was hit on by an older man. I rolled my eyes at him and informed him I was 16, hoping that would get him to leave me alone. He shrugged and said, "We're both human." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19108) - you deserved it (2124)
On 02/10/2010 at 8:39pm - misc - by creepster (woman) - Canada (Quebec)
Today, after months of trying, my wife of seven years told me she is finally pregnant. I'm going to be an uncle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53310) - you deserved it (2576)
On 01/06/2010 at 10:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50304) - you deserved it (2659)
On 11/15/2009 at 7:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)
Today, a Milkbone commercial came on TV. At the end of it, they whistle and throw a Milkbone across the screen, prompting my 100lb German Shepherd to leap off the couch and run head on into my new plasma screen TV. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39597) - you deserved it (3777)
On 11/03/2009 at 1:11pm - misc - by doglover (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, my son's hamster died. It was overweight and got stuck in its plastic tube. My 6 year old son came downstairs to me smashing a plastic tube with a dead hamster in it on the kitchen table. He thinks I killed it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25164) - you deserved it (3411)
On 10/27/2009 at 3:35pm - animals - by freylero - United Kingdom (Greater London)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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