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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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dirtpudding

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dirtpudding
  • Town/Country : United states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 October 1991 (20 years)
  • Number of visits : 252
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dirtpudding : I am a freak.

dirtpudding's last visitors

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dirtpudding's favorite FMLs

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

#15976359 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (26561) - you deserved it (3770)

On 04/29/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Jims (man) - Singapore

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605 (208)

I agree, your life sucks (14808) - you deserved it (20449)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960 (270)

I agree, your life sucks (30289) - you deserved it (6841)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

#15526223 (263)

I agree, your life sucks (9701) - you deserved it (2724)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

#15366676 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (23716) - you deserved it (4722)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by B-rent - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

#14967692 (60)

I agree, your life sucks (26527) - you deserved it (2042)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Roxas (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

#14955015 (238)

I agree, your life sucks (35059) - you deserved it (4494)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:32am - intimacy - by Eva - Sent from mobile version

Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML

#14451100 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (22632) - you deserved it (2835)

On 01/03/2011 at 1:56pm - kids - by jenabp - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML

#13490049 (149)

I agree, your life sucks (36902) - you deserved it (2597)

On 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

#13361904 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (36797) - you deserved it (3550)

On 10/08/2010 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152 (179)

I agree, your life sucks (27877) - you deserved it (3719)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a graphing calculator and my period. FML

#13221295 (188)

I agree, your life sucks (28604) - you deserved it (3022)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

#13146881 (160)

I agree, your life sucks (23772) - you deserved it (3008)

On 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm - animals - by tracie (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

#13087587 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (16507) - you deserved it (4691)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the DMV getting temporary tags for my new car. While waiting in line, a huge fat lady behind me felt the need to run her finger down the scar on the back of my neck. FML

#13033925 (295)

I agree, your life sucks (25185) - you deserved it (1727)

On 09/13/2010 at 11:14am - misc - by dmvsucks (man) - United States (Kansas)