Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dirtpudding

Search for a member

dirtpudding
  • Town/Country : United states
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 October 1991 (22 years)
  • Number of visits : 524
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dirtpudding : I am a freak.

dirtpudding's last visitors

KyngJulianajax_unitedWet_DreamJustSoLost

dirtpudding's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dirtpudding's favorite FMLs

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

#15976359
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28619) - you deserved it (4035)

On 04/29/2011 at 10:00am - misc - by Jims (man) - Singapore

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

#15855605
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18257) - you deserved it (28316)

On 04/20/2011 at 4:10am - work - by bham boy -

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

#15703960
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32760) - you deserved it (7303)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:46am - intimacy - by fuundmental/// - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

#15526223
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37305) - you deserved it (3860)

On 03/28/2011 at 2:42am - health - by ouchmytits - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

#15366676
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26740) - you deserved it (5914)

On 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm - work - by B-rent - United States

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

#14967692
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29179) - you deserved it (2228)

On 02/14/2011 at 12:20am - misc - by Roxas (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

#14955015
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40937) - you deserved it (5628)

On 02/13/2011 at 4:32am - intimacy - by Eva - Sent from mobile version

Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML

#14451100
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28567) - you deserved it (3897)

On 01/03/2011 at 1:56pm - kids - by jenabp - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML

#13490049
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44706) - you deserved it (3478)

On 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

#13361904
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43364) - you deserved it (4704)

On 10/08/2010 at 1:23am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

#13333152
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30424) - you deserved it (3987)

On 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm - work - by hospital - United States (New York)

Today, it's my birthday. I got a graphing calculator and my period. FML

#13221295
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31266) - you deserved it (3268)

On 09/27/2010 at 11:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

#13087587
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18166) - you deserved it (4992)

On 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm - misc - by huwauw (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was at the DMV getting temporary tags for my new car. While waiting in line, a huge fat lady behind me felt the need to run her finger down the scar on the back of my neck. FML

#13033925
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27401) - you deserved it (1950)

On 09/13/2010 at 11:14am - misc - by dmvsucks (man) - United States (Kansas)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: