dirtpudding

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dirtpudding

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Thursday 17 October 1991 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 893
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dirtpudding : I am a freak.

dirtpudding's page activity

Visits<b>americanafrican</b> - the 09/13/2015 at 5:44pm<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 8:08am<b>KyngJulian</b> - the 11/30/2013 at 3:43am<b>ajax_united</b> - the 04/30/2013 at 12:25am<b>Wet_Dream</b> - the 10/28/2009 at 12:16pm<b>JustSoLost</b> - the 09/09/2009 at 7:45pm

dirtpudding's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dirtpudding's favorite FMLs

Today, the only person who wished me a happy birthday is the policeman who checked my identity card for being "suspiciously gangster-like". FML

by Jims / 04/29/2011 at 10:00am / Singapore / Miscellaneous

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

by bham boy / 04/20/2011 at 4:10am / Work

Today, I was looking in my grandparents' drawers and cupboards to find a blanket, but instead found a stash of sex toys, and a male G-string with a horse on the front. The best bit? When you press the horse's nose, it neighs. FML

by fuundmental/// / 04/09/2011 at 1:46am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I was cooking, and I took a pot of boiling water to the sink to drain. My pot holder slipped, and the boiling water spilled all over my breasts. Second degree boob burns are bad, but losing half a nipple to potato salad is worse. FML

by ouchmytits / 03/28/2011 at 2:42am / United States (Mississippi) / Health

Today, I discovered that the lovely, hunger-inducing smell that's been lingering around the office lately is from the local animal crematory. I've been wistfully inhaling the stench of burning cats, dogs, and other various animals. FML

by B-rent / 03/18/2011 at 12:10pm / United States / Work

Today, I got a parking ticket in the mail. I don't have a car. FML

by Roxas / 02/14/2011 at 12:20am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation

Today, my boyfriend woke me up by playing with the string of my tampon. FML

by Eva / 02/13/2011 at 4:32am / Intimacy

Today, while changing my clothes, my 3 year old daughter informed me that I looked like a zebra. Noticing my shocked face, she tried comforting me by telling me I was a pretty zebra because I was a purple zebra. She was talking about my stretch marks. FML

by jenabp / 01/03/2011 at 1:56pm / United States (Arizona) / Kids

Today, I found a surveillance camera in my room. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 8:27pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

by Anonymous / 10/08/2010 at 1:23am / United States / Health

Today, I started my first day at a new hospital. My first assignment? Shave an elderly man's testicles. FML

by hospital / 10/05/2010 at 7:36pm / United States (New York) / Work

Today, it's my birthday. I got a graphing calculator and my period. FML

by Anonymous / 09/27/2010 at 11:07am / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I took my dogs to an empty park. While they were running around, I laid down in the grass to read a book. Someone thought I was a dead body and called the cops. The police and paramedics showed up. This is the second time it's happened. FML

by tracie / 09/21/2010 at 8:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Animals

Today, I was doing my homework on the computer when my dad walked by with a plate of food, threw his fork at me, and said "POSTURE!" FML

by huwauw / 09/17/2010 at 4:33pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at the DMV getting temporary tags for my new car. While waiting in line, a huge fat lady behind me felt the need to run her finger down the scar on the back of my neck. FML

by dmvsucks / 09/13/2010 at 11:14am / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous