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dirt_nasty_xo

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dirt_nasty_xo
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 7 September 1994 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 85
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dirt_nasty_xo : I'm from the school of hard knocks

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This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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dirt_nasty_xo's favorite FMLs

Today, I was at a café with my friends when an elderly man noticed my dimples. He came up to me, stroked them while whispering, "One in a million" then walked out. Now my friends do this to me constantly, even while driving home. I almost hit a tree. FML

#20440419
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27334) - you deserved it (1906)

On 01/03/2013 at 6:35am - misc - by Dimples (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while helping out at a retirement home, I had to get a book off a bookshelf. When I reached up, my watch got stuck on my shirt, resulting in my shirt lifting up. I just flashed my man-boobs to at least 20 senior citizens, and one of them even asked if he could have a feel. FML

#20433442
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21572) - you deserved it (4453)

On 12/31/2012 at 2:58am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while sharing a few beers on the couch with my boyfriend, he drunkenly uttered the fateful words, "Babe, if I could suck my own dick, you'd be single as HELL." FML

#20426492
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40209) - you deserved it (4395)

On 12/27/2012 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by well, i am now (woman) - United States

Today, my friend and I decided to go skinny-dipping in her pool just after we'd finished watching a scary movie. While we were in the pool, I heard something move in the bushes so I freaked out and ran onto the deck, slipping and falling flat on my back. Her dad saw the whole thing. FML

#20407433
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10921) - you deserved it (28932)

On 12/19/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my daughter had the words "Always classy, never trashy" tattooed across her lower back in crappy cursive lettering. She doesn't understand the irony. FML

#20400337
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23574) - you deserved it (2130)

On 12/15/2012 at 3:08am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, in the midst of his ongoing mid-life crisis, my dad forced me to accompany him for some father-son bonding. The bonding involved me driving us away at high speed after he gleefully hurled a bucket of paint all over a store window. FML

#20399692
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13706) - you deserved it (1274)

On 12/14/2012 at 6:20pm - misc - by theslutmuncher (man) - Germany (Sachsen-Anhalt)

Today, I had my wisdom teeth taken out. I vaguely remember telling the doctor that I'm a virgin. Several times. FML

#20169028
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16624) - you deserved it (1617)

On 11/19/2012 at 1:21am - health - by NOIDIDNOT (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML

#20037487
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6661) - you deserved it (15801)

On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, at my job, an old lady kept calling her inhaler a blow job. I kindly explained to her why she couldn't call her inhaler that. She continued to ask me for a blow job in front of visitors. I had to say yes. FML

#19986519
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19591) - you deserved it (1524)

On 07/27/2012 at 12:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, a homeless man tried to sell me a "magic, one-finger glove". It was a used condom. FML

#19838531
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23298) - you deserved it (2004)

On 06/24/2012 at 10:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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