Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dinosaurfeet

Search for a member

dinosaurfeet

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 317
  • Number of comments : 1
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dinosaurfeet : Hey guys! I come on here everyday to laugh at the things that happen to people (:
I don't reply often to messages :s So yeah js x
Anyway, I'm done so bye :)

dinosaurfeet's page activity

Visits<b>k_gils</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 4:16pm<b>marcusaa</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 8:45pm<b>abhi95</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 2:25am<b>slizzy</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 12:28pm<b>glowbaby</b> - the 11/24/2013 at 1:14pm<b>nicolesykes</b> - the 05/18/2013 at 5:24pm<b>ydi_4_suking</b> - the 05/10/2013 at 5:59pm<b>ekb777</b> - the 04/25/2013 at 11:34am<b>clareobryan</b> - the 04/24/2013 at 9:33am<b>SirCharles83</b> - the 04/15/2013 at 8:02am<b>nukem4747</b> - the 04/14/2013 at 12:08am<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 4:53pm<b>olpally</b> - the 04/12/2013 at 9:16am<b>MWidderAUDI</b> - the 04/11/2013 at 5:36am<b>xxoriginalnamexx</b> - the 04/09/2013 at 10:01pm<b>twining24</b> - the 04/07/2013 at 8:15am<b>NaomiOchoa</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 2:12pm<b>I_Am_A_Rock</b> - the 04/06/2013 at 2:06pm

dinosaurfeet's FML badges

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of dinosaurfeet's badges

dinosaurfeet's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom told me that my new concealer is way too dark and makes my skin look hideously orange and uneven. I wasn't wearing any makeup. FML

#14347070
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29611) - you deserved it (4011)

On 12/26/2010 at 4:32pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend decided to come over and surprise me. When he got to my apartment and heard the shower running, he decided get in and join me. I was walking my dog, my mother is in town for the weekend. FML

#13592451
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40310) - you deserved it (3866)

On 10/25/2010 at 6:09pm - animals - by sly - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that my son has an allergy to cats. My partner of two years, not wanting to fight, suggested a compromise: that my son and the cat take turns sleeping outside. FML

#13521617
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27932) - you deserved it (5266)

On 10/20/2010 at 3:11am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my parents told me I was adopted. I can understand parents waiting for a child to be old enough to understand, but I'm 33 years old. FML

#13455884
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31281) - you deserved it (2232)

On 10/15/2010 at 4:05am - misc - by anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, as I was about to leave my house in my brand new heels, I stepped on a dead mouse. My heel went through it. FML

#8370926
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28156) - you deserved it (4848)

On 02/17/2010 at 10:05am - misc - by juwkgo (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was on AIM talking to a really cute guy, whom I've had a crush on for forever, when he asked me to video chat. I got so excited and immediately pressed accept, without thinking. Not until he started screaming and cursing did I realize that I was still using my laptop on the toilet. FML

#6753544
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8821) - you deserved it (57180)

On 12/14/2009 at 6:26pm - love - by toiletgirl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband stabbed me with his unusually long nasty toes nails in the leg while he slept. It took 3 stitches to fix it up, my husband and doctor laughed the entire time. He still refuses to cut them. FML

#6578474
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36093) - you deserved it (3342)

On 12/03/2009 at 12:59am - health - by ewww (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend in his room, wearing his boxers. He told me this story about how one time he had diarrhea when he was stuck in traffic and had not choice but to poop himself. I asked him what prompted this story. He said I was wearing the boxers he pooped in. FML

#5669435
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24163) - you deserved it (4583)

On 10/05/2009 at 8:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I found out my mom was getting remarried, to my dad. He's been in prison for five years because he pushed her out a window. FML

#5116471
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54193) - you deserved it (2156)

On 09/07/2009 at 10:28pm - misc - by kennedygeeee (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my friend sent me a bumper sticker that said, "Do you know that gullible said slowly sounds like 'green bears'?" I spent quite a few minutes trying to get gullible to sound like green bears until I realized that it didn't. FML

#3048050
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10456) - you deserved it (58899)

On 06/20/2009 at 12:09am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 5 year old daughter thought it would be funny to wake me up by tickling my toes. I guess one of my reflexes acted out because I kicked her right in the face. FML

#1973147
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50516) - you deserved it (5802)

On 05/16/2009 at 7:26am - kids - by badmom101 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up behind my cat and scare it with a loud "boo!" The cat responded by jumping up, and running across my apartment, which would have been fine, except for the fact she left a trail of liquid shit everywhere she went. FML

#1930454
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16942) - you deserved it (94584)

On 05/14/2009 at 1:46pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I walked into a restaurant with my parents to celebrate my Mom's birthday. They immediately got a kid's menu and crayons out for me. I'm 15. FML

#1588127
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48135) - you deserved it (7794)

On 05/03/2009 at 10:06am - misc - by TooShort (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28209) - you deserved it (104094)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML

#279733
517 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53664) - you deserved it (310633)

On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)



FML's blog

  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: