About dimattboy : Hello creeper. :)
Im guessing i said something annoying to make you look at my profile. If i did it was probably a joke and you took it up the butt so get over it. :) Here are some things i hate.
1. Sunglasses jokes. ( Oh nevermind jokes are supposed to be funny )
2. Stuck up people. Its a fml site to laugh at other people. Its fucked up but hey, dont act like its not funny.
3.Skyrim jok.... nevermind.
Also, enonymous is the funniest, wierdest, coolest commenter on here so praise him! :D
Bye creeper. :)
Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
Back from a party
An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, I went to the supermarket to get some Easter gifts for my kids. At the register, I was verbally abused to the point of tears by the cashier, for having way too many items for the 12 items or less lane. I had 13. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30220) - you deserved it (10655)
On 03/30/2013 at 4:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Bayern)
Today, I went on my fifth date with my new girlfriend. Apparently, she was in such a rush while leaving work that she forgot to take off her wedding ring. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38845) - you deserved it (2148)
Today, my dad yet again uttered the words "well, that escalated quickly," while watching the news. He uses this godforsaken meme multiple times a day. I lost my shit and told him to just shut up already. He slowly turned to face me, raised an eyebrow, and said, "well, that escalated quickly." FML
I agree, your life sucks (17032) - you deserved it (45938)
On 03/30/2013 at 2:17pm - misc - by fuck you dad (man) - Ireland (Monaghan)
Today, I texted a girl I met at the bar last night. She accused me of being "fake" because she couldn't find me on Facebook, Instagram or Twitter, then threatened to call the cops on me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29625) - you deserved it (2038)
On 03/30/2013 at 1:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I was on the toilet, when I noticed I could see my daughter dancing in the other room in the mirror, so I took a picture with my phone. After I uploaded it, people pointed out that I was visible in the picture, sitting on the toilet and smiling. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11442) - you deserved it (42783)
On 03/30/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by crunknasty - United States (California)
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She didn't say no, she didn't faint, and she didn't cry. She just stared at me blankly and said, "But... why...?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (36693) - you deserved it (2350) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 03/29/2013 at 9:29pm - love - by Badam - France (Aquitaine)
Today, I was feeling down following a recent breakup. My dad tried to comfort me by patting me on the back and saying everyone goes through ups and downs, "Like when I found out your mum and I were having a boy." I'm their only son. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26842) - you deserved it (1516)
On 03/29/2013 at 6:18pm - misc - by Appelflap (man) - Belgium (Oost-Vlaanderen)
Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31279) - you deserved it (6119)
On 03/29/2013 at 5:36pm - love - by sarajj (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38181) - you deserved it (11658)
On 03/29/2013 at 1:18pm - misc - by fucked by sex ed (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, while on the way to Florida for spring break, I pointed out to my mom a bright blue car in the rear-view mirror. As the car overtook us, we both got a horrifyingly detailed view of the driver jerking off her passenger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30221) - you deserved it (2805)
On 03/29/2013 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was hit by a car in a parking lot. The person sped off; I broke three ribs. My parents screamed at me for not getting the driver's info. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31977) - you deserved it (1637)
On 03/29/2013 at 4:33am - misc - by TheRuleEnforcer (man) - United States
Today, while I was at work, I was on the verge of tears. My coworker asked what was wrong and I explained that I recently had to put my dog down. He then replied, "Cool story, bro. Tell it again." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31155) - you deserved it (418)
On 03/29/2013 at 4:23am - work - by CoolStoryBro -
Today, I nervously started a new job, and my co-workers were telling me silly rules about our boss. Later, I accidentally bumped into him, and blurted "Rule #7, don't touch George." He definitely heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13023) - you deserved it (27238)
On 03/29/2013 at 12:38am - work - by Anonymous - United States
Today, I realized that I'm so lonely I can no longer whack off without bursting into tears and crying like a little bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32585) - you deserved it (13145)
On 03/29/2013 at 12:11am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I came home from work to my 4-year old daughter cussing left and right. I asked her about it; she said that her brother had taught her some words. When I confronted him about the situation, he kicked my shin and screamed, "Stop treating me like a fucking child!" He's 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33262) - you deserved it (12597)
On 03/28/2013 at 9:13pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Friday 24 May 2013
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