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dimattboy

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dimattboy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 2 May 1998 (16 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 758
  • Number of comments : 2
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About dimattboy : Hello creeper. :)
Im guessing i said something annoying to make you look at my profile. If i did it was probably a joke and you took it up the butt so get over it. :) Here are some things i hate.
1. Sunglasses jokes. ( Oh nevermind jokes are supposed to be funny )
2. Stuck up people. Its a fml site to laugh at other people. Its fucked up but hey, dont act like its not funny.
3.Skyrim jok.... nevermind.
Also, enonymous is the funniest, wierdest, coolest commenter on here so praise him! :D
Bye creeper. :)

dimattboy's page activity

Visits<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 03/23/2013 at 10:30pm<b>TML329</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:28pm<b>p0ckii3z</b> - the 07/25/2012 at 12:10am

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You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

Back from a party

An FML submitted on a Saturday morning between 5 and 6am can't be a good FML.

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It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

See all of dimattboy's badges

dimattboy's favorite FMLs

Today, a customer broke my nose for refusing to give him a discount because the product he was buying had a fine layer of dust on the box. FML

#20736654
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40711) - you deserved it (2841)

On 06/20/2013 at 2:32am - work - by Whytetrash - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother got one of those water-vapour cigarettes. I was playing around with it, and my neighbour saw me through the window. She came over to yell at my parents about my "addiction" to marijuana. When my parents told her to get lost, she called the cops and tried to get me arrested. FML

Today, I found out I'm going to be a grandfather. I'm 29, my son is 13 and the girl in question is 16. FML

#20731946
437 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59124) - you deserved it (36958)

On 06/17/2013 at 6:49pm - kids - by young grandpa - United States (Georgia)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49157) - you deserved it (6449)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74151) - you deserved it (6762)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my grandparents went around bragging to people that I'm taking my STD test. They meant to say SAT. FML

#20731460
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47780) - you deserved it (2902)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I lost my virginity. Not only did my parents somehow find out, they posted about it on Facebook. FML

#20730822
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48821) - you deserved it (10176)

On 06/17/2013 at 1:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I went fishing with my dad. I figured, since we were out on the dock, I may as well get rid of my farmer's tan. I fell asleep in the sun and woke up to a fishing net draped over me. I now have a fishnet pattern down the front of my body. FML

#20730236
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39125) - you deserved it (11159)

On 06/16/2013 at 9:39pm - misc - by jhughes1997 (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend of 2 months broke up with me after finding out that I reload my own shotgun shells and I shoot competitively. His reasoning? He didn't want to date a "cheap and dangerous woman." Seriously? FML

Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

#20698927
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45003) - you deserved it (4491)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

#20698818
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81370) - you deserved it (5559)

On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59880) - you deserved it (2936)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56856) - you deserved it (4764)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, thanks to an idiotic, "hilariously edgy" advert that screened in the very early evening, my 6-year-old son keeps repeating the phrase "I want a vasectomy" to everyone he sees. I've never received so many dirty looks in my life. FML

#20697858
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37414) - you deserved it (4087)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:25pm - kids - by theybitchaboutgnomesbutnotthis?? (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my mom has gone completely insane and insists we only flush the toilet or wash our hands at the start or end of the day, "to save on bills." My young sister thinks it's the best idea ever. My mom makes our food, and my sister just loves to touch everyone's faces. FML



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