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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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dima1234

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dima1234
  • Town/Country : rome, united states
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 282
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About dima1234 : fitness + MMA = me

dima1234's last visitors

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dima1234's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993 (215)

I agree, your life sucks (17358) - you deserved it (3179)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063 (199)

I agree, your life sucks (10489) - you deserved it (6020)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy - United States

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618 (189)

I agree, your life sucks (25892) - you deserved it (4724)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726 (290)

I agree, your life sucks (30319) - you deserved it (7426)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300 (476)

I agree, your life sucks (58116) - you deserved it (7322)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (10689) - you deserved it (51745)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710 (601)

I agree, your life sucks (45529) - you deserved it (20388)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML

#15510079 (409)

I agree, your life sucks (33975) - you deserved it (4267)

On 03/27/2011 at 4:37am - intimacy - by Angel1000168 - Australia

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.



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