Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dima1234

Search for a member

dima1234

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 465
  • Number of comments : 5
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 5 posted

About dima1234 : fitness + MMA = me

dima1234's page activity

Visits<b>iShitCustard</b> - the 07/11/2013 at 2:08am<b>lmc94</b> - the 12/03/2011 at 12:12am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:14pm<b>kingedoftheworld</b> - the 03/20/2011 at 4:39am<b>nyrangers1022</b> - the 07/16/2010 at 12:38pm<b>seahorses4eva</b> - the 07/13/2010 at 2:21pm<b>stainbroo</b> - the 08/23/2009 at 10:55pm

dima1234's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

dima1234's favorite FMLs

Today, my doctor booked me in for an STD test. I was feeling confident until he explained it will involve having a catheter inserted into my piss pipe. He shook his head sadly and said: "Gonna be honest, Steve, the pain's beyond belief." Great. FML

#19284993
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27346) - you deserved it (4911)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by 0stvn0 (man) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

#18255063
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35849) - you deserved it (18849)

On 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by lababy (woman) - United States

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

#18224618
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (7738)

On 11/12/2011 at 12:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I decided to go down on my girlfriend. In the midst of her orgasm, she grabbed my head with her legs, performing a submission most UFC fighters could be proud of, and she held on for so long that I was suffocated. FML

#15555726
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38397) - you deserved it (9432)

On 03/30/2011 at 12:43am - intimacy - by kingpin7 - United States

Today, I heard the four most dreaded words known to man during my first time: "Is it in yet?" It was. FML

#15546300
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69133) - you deserved it (9550)

On 03/29/2011 at 1:26pm - intimacy - by Johntheladdo (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I found out that using a certain hand sanitizer as masturbation lube will put you in the hospital and result in having to wear an adult diaper for a week. FML

#15542094
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13757) - you deserved it (69132)

On 03/29/2011 at 2:28am - intimacy - by JJMan217 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting beside a very cute girl on a 3 hour bus trip with my class. She fell asleep, head on my lap. She woke up because my erection was jabbing her in the cheek. FML

#15532710
483 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54756) - you deserved it (27497)

On 03/28/2011 at 4:13pm - intimacy - by dickface - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend proposed to me. I would be ecstatic if he hadn't stuck the ring on his balls and asked for a blow-job. He even confessed that the original plan was to stick it on his penis but it was too small. FML



FML's blog

  • Gragrou's illustrated FML
  • One day, cats will rule the world, but not today, there's a bit of tin foil stuck under the couch. The Internet and cats is quite the love story, everybody knows that. A very serious study that was done…

Friday 26 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: