digressions

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digressions

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Sunday 9 March 1975 (41 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1039
  • Number of comments : 22
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 5 posted

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digressions's page activity

Visits<b>rcbarnes</b> - the 12/06/2011 at 1:03am<b>FYLDeep</b> - the 11/30/2011 at 9:25pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm<b>Late_night83</b> - the 09/09/2011 at 11:59pm<b>hellokitty3</b> - the 06/30/2011 at 3:12pm<b>SmokeUp</b> - the 02/16/2011 at 2:18am

digressions's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

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digressions's favorite FMLs

Today, I tore a muscle in my back. At the hospital, I was prescribed some pain medication. My husband got me settled at home, with everything I needed within reach, and left for work. As I picked up the bottle to take the first pill, I knocked it on the floor. It rolled under the couch. FML

by digressions / 12/29/2011 at 2:01pm / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I was naked, still deciding what to wear, when the doorbell rang. I grabbed the closest thing to cover up with: my Snuggie. I answered the door, it was kids asking for donations. Without thinking, I turned around to grab my purse. FML

by anonymous / 11/15/2011 at 10:17pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my son asked me where babies come from. I told him, "From god." He came back with, "Daddy said it was from fucking." FML

by lababy / 11/15/2011 at 12:20pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, as a support worker, I spent 45 minutes making various attempts to calm a violent autistic kid. Just as soon as I was sure the crisis was over, he beat me as hard as he could with the "Things I Can Do When I'm Mad" book I'd given him. FML

by metallifreak44 / 11/14/2011 at 8:37am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I found pictures in my boyfriend's phone of our dog eating treats out of my mouth while I'm sleeping. FML

by Anonymous / 11/14/2011 at 12:09am / United States (California) / Love

Today, I have two black eyes. The first one I got from the girl whose ass I mistakenly grabbed at a party last night. The other one I got from my girlfriend when I explained the first one. FML

by ThatHurts / 11/13/2011 at 7:11pm / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished a very important but annoying presentation that took four hours to complete. Only after writing a paragraph to explain the presentation and sending it to my boss did I realize that I saved the document as "Shit I have to do to get a promotion." FML

by TTR / 11/12/2011 at 7:36pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I was watching wrestling videos on YouTube, when my little brother walked in. Later, my little brother told my parents that I was watching naked men on my computer. They won't stop thinking that I was watching gay porn. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 9:19am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, I got chilli powder in my eye. Now not only do I have a swollen, blistered eye, but I am covered in milk as my boss assured me that would help. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 4:27am / Australia (New South Wales) / Work

Today, I was following my friend to her house in my car, because I didn't know where it was. I'd been following her for at least an hour when she pulled into a gas station. Turns out I'd been following the wrong car. I have no idea where I am. FML

by friedchicken / 11/12/2011 at 1:43am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I found a note on my door that said "I masturbate to your pictures on Facebook." Someone else wrote "like" at the bottom. FML

by Anonymous / 11/12/2011 at 12:34am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my buddy told me he was going to get an HIV test at the health department. Without thinking, I told him to "think positive". FML

by devinchi / 11/11/2011 at 3:42am / United States / Health

Today, my boyfriend of five years was in a bad car crash, and ended up with a concussion. He didn't remember me. At all. But he remembered his other girlfriend he had cheated on me with for two months. FML

by Nicoli / 11/10/2011 at 1:22pm / United States (Washington) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. My mum walked in and told him to pull out and show her that he was wearing a condom, and not just saying he was. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2011 at 7:55am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I was driving home from work with the window down. I felt what I thought was rain coming through the window, until I looked over and realized it was urine mist coming from the cattle truck next to me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/08/2011 at 6:33pm / United States / Transportation