About digapygmy : I'm pretty much awesome. That's all you NEED to know.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my girlfriend was complaining that we don't have "a song". Irritated, I told her that I'd put on the radio, and whatever song was playing was our song from now on. I switched on the radio, and "It's Not Fair" by Lily Allen was playing. Our song is about premature ejaculation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12784) - you deserved it (51339)
On 04/28/2009 at 4:52pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Swindon)
Today, I realized the senior thesis I turned in last week uses the word "asses" instead of "assess" 17 times. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17339) - you deserved it (45602)
On 04/28/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by fuckspellcheck (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I decided to smoke a cigarette while I was driving to work. I was also eating french fries during the drive. I had never realized how much a cigarette feels like a french fry. In conclusion, cigarettes don't taste very good when you bite into them. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8592) - you deserved it (78447)
On 04/28/2009 at 10:08am - health - by david - United States (Colorado)
Today, I went up to a secluded mountain my boyfriend took me to for our first date. As I saw another couple hooking up in the bushes, I phoned my boyfriend to tell him someone found our secret spot. His Bob Marley ringtone started playing from the bush. FML
I agree, your life sucks (167026) - you deserved it (6652)
On 04/28/2009 at 2:27am - intimacy - by liveforpeace_ (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML
I agree, your life sucks (91159) - you deserved it (6009)
On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was hanging out with my boyfriend when we started messing around. Things were getting really hot when he gets a call from his best friend whose grandfather had just died. As they were talking and I heard her crying, he unzips his pants and mouths, "She won't know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (57565) - you deserved it (5356)
On 04/27/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)
Today, I was pulled over by a police officer for speeding. After writing the ticket, he asked me why I was wearing a surgical mask. I told him that swine flu was found in our area and I was scared. He thought that I was insulting him and wrote me another ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (62276) - you deserved it (11632)
On 04/27/2009 at 2:24am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I bought a box of Fruit Loops. When I got home, I noticed a free prize would be in the box. I sifted through the box, looking for the small toy. It wasn't in there. I don't know what is more sad, the fact that I got ripped off by a children's cereal or that I'm 21 and upset by it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41353) - you deserved it (10241)
On 04/26/2009 at 10:29pm - misc - by ahhnotoy (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I got kicked in the face at a soccer game. Everybody clapped. FML
I agree, your life sucks (55740) - you deserved it (6897)
On 04/26/2009 at 11:14am - misc - by Tal (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my friends and I spent hours on the Disney website playing in Pixie Hollow. We made our own fairies and flew around completing tasks for TinkerBell and her fairy friends. We're in college, and this is how we spent our Saturday night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21445) - you deserved it (47029)
On 04/26/2009 at 4:44am - misc - by panicromanceX3 - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I walked into my dorm to find my roommate hanging a voodoo doll of me on a noose. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74266) - you deserved it (4907)
On 04/26/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by calliefml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, is my boyfriend and my 3 year anniversary. We decided to give each other something that we really needed. I bought him the $300 worth of books that he needed for college. He surprised me with a workout video and exercise equipment. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43953) - you deserved it (8030)
On 04/25/2009 at 2:41pm - love - by fmlgirl (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, as a respected artist I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting technique when I accidentally washed my paintbrush in my coffee instead of my paint water. They waited until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36305) - you deserved it (11258)
On 04/24/2009 at 5:04am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)
Today, my boss confessed to me that she doesn't know how to change the staples in the staplers at work, so she just switches them when they run out. We work at an office supply store. She makes six figures. I make $10 an hour. And she just got awarded a trip to Aruba for doing a "great job". FML
I agree, your life sucks (50412) - you deserved it (2130)
On 04/24/2009 at 12:36am - work - by Idiocracy (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, at my job at an ophthalmology office I was checking a patient's vision. In broken English he tried to explain to me that he couldn't see out of his eye. After trying to assess his vision for 5 min, I finally realized what he was trying to tell me. I was checking his vision in his FAKE eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11570) - you deserved it (30819)
On 04/23/2009 at 10:15pm - work - by COA (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Friday 24 May 2013
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