About digapygmy : I'm pretty much awesome. That's all you NEED to know.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11313) - you deserved it (40422)
On 03/12/2009 at 11:42pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, my girlfriend was giving me head while I was watching Star Trek and I accidentally called her Spock. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41356) - you deserved it (250563)
On 03/12/2009 at 5:30am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - New Zealand (Canterbury)
Today, I went to online to find out why my midterm grade is for my least favorite class Psychology. After weeks upon weeks of studying and doing work for a class I hate I found out that I have a zero in the class. Turns out I've been going to the wrong psychology class all semester. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32365) - you deserved it (54531)
On 03/11/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by absentminded (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my brother's new girlfriend, who is blind, asked to feel my face so she could tell what I look like. She said i was "unique". A blind chick just told me I was ugly. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53105) - you deserved it (3932)
On 03/11/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by GreenScar (man) - United States (California)
Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. I minimized the porn on my laptop so she wouldn't see I was watching it. It turns out I was watching an old Beatles concert before I started masturbating. My mom thought I was masturbating to the Beatles. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19934) - you deserved it (63917)
On 03/11/2009 at 12:42am - intimacy - by theassman (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (470772) - you deserved it (584564)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I was going to a Harry Potter convention since I love the books so much. On my drive there I got lost, and it only got worse when my car broke down. Since I forgot my cell phone I decided to try and hitch a ride. I stood on the side of a road for two hours dressed like Ron Weasley. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22592) - you deserved it (46613)
On 03/07/2009 at 11:03pm - misc - by GrLifeusx (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I came home after a party to my parents, who confronted me. They said that my phone had made a pocket call to them and they heard a good half hour of people talking about drugs and alcohol. I confessed at that point. I checked my phone after. I hadn't called them in 3 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14259) - you deserved it (50788)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:04pm - misc - by Werner (man) - United States (California)
Today, I went to the doctor with my parents. When the doctor asked if I was sexually active, I said 'Yes.' My mom laughed and said 'Good one.' My dad, for added effect said, 'Your hand doesn't count.' FML
I agree, your life sucks (54262) - you deserved it (5266)
On 02/21/2009 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by Nails (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I told my boyfriend that I was afraid our future children would be fat and ugly. He reassured me, saying that he was sure our spawn would take on after him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27940) - you deserved it (10136)
On 02/17/2009 at 3:30am - love - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my religious girlfriend of 8 months finally lets me have sex with her. She invites me over, and just when we are about to do it, her dad comes home from work 3 hours early. She said it is a sign from God that we have to wait. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56331) - you deserved it (16214)
On 02/15/2009 at 6:49pm - intimacy - by naynay007 (man) - United States
Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (416073) - you deserved it (26641)
On 02/13/2009 at 10:54am - intimacy - by The Sbeak (man) - United States (Rhode Island)
Today, I received an email invitation to a dating web site. It was from my father-in-law. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34183) - you deserved it (2315)
On 02/03/2009 at 2:54am - intimacy - by Mavis (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my boyfriend struck up a conversation about the reproductive systems of seahorses. We were getting intimate at the time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16068) - you deserved it (1434)
On 01/16/2009 at 12:31pm - love - by Noname - United Kingdom
Today, I surprise my girlfriend by turning up at her flat on her twenty-fourth birthday. She gets up from the couch as I enter and I shout: "Tonight, my cock is going to stab you twenty-four times!" (Okay, that's not smart). That's when her father glances over from the couch and greets me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8107) - you deserved it (44773)
On 12/13/2008 at 10:58pm - intimacy - by Mateo - Sent from mobile version
Monday 17 June 2013
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