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diceddiamonds

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2991
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About diceddiamonds : Lol seriously fuck you all.

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diceddiamonds's favorite FMLs

Today, I was packing my son's lunch and we ran out of water bottles. I asked my 16 years old to run to the store. She didnt want to but gave me one she had. After dropping my son off, my daughter frantically told me she made a mistake. I sent my second grader to school with a bottle of vodka. FML

#644123
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82450) - you deserved it (16329)

On 03/27/2009 at 2:42pm - misc - by badmom (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML

#632473
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (168995) - you deserved it (34106)

On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML

#580113
484 comments

I agree, your life sucks (597745) - you deserved it (37953)

On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I fell asleep in class. As a joke, my professor used an airhorn to wake me up. I got so freaked out that I punched the girl next to me in the face. She got knocked out. FML

#553935
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84268) - you deserved it (31477)

On 03/23/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
335 comments

Today, I was over at my boyfriend's house. One thing led to another, and we were just getting to the good parts when his mom walks in. After a long, awkward pause, she says "I like your socks" and walks out. She is a teacher at my highschool. I have to see her everyday. FML

#511211
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46231) - you deserved it (19921)

On 03/21/2009 at 3:04pm - misc - by mjayne17 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I came home and saw on our fridge, "Please don't drink anymore, I really worry about your health" written by my 7-year-old daughter. I figured she wouldn't ever find out, so I opened the fridge. But I found another note on a can that said "So you're going to drink anyway?" FML

#503348
877 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60117) - you deserved it (628228)

On 03/21/2009 at 12:46am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in there today and there was a note that said "Little Sister, stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

#497309
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29606) - you deserved it (110612)

On 03/20/2009 at 8:43pm - intimacy - by Stacy (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was walking my husky when she saw a cat and bolted toward it. I couldn't let go of the leash because my hand was tangled up. Forced to run along, I ran into a parked van at full sprint. I lost my dog, broke two ribs and have to pay for the dent in the van. FML

#487128
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (88495) - you deserved it (9008)

On 03/20/2009 at 11:08am - animals - by frame (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

#461201
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (138616) - you deserved it (8565)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

#448904
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31348) - you deserved it (138232)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebees for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked "How was it?" he says "It was terrible", to which I said "The food was that bad?" He replies "No, the sex". FML

#431427
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83067) - you deserved it (12474)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:35am - intimacy - by JC12345 (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to ask my friend to the school dance. It's one where the girls ask the guys. I spent hours placing signs down his street so he would see them on his way home. As I'm waiting in his driveway with balloons I see his car reverse and go the other direction. FML

#415998
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84006) - you deserved it (18503)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:44pm - misc - by SmileEveryday (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

#400298
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45856) - you deserved it (240274)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)



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