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diceddiamonds

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diceddiamonds
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1784
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About diceddiamonds : Lol seriously fuck you all.

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diceddiamonds's favorite FMLs

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

#4304989
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49991) - you deserved it (8161)

On 08/05/2009 at 9:04am - intimacy - by some_girl_19 (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I had my first blow job. My girlfriend thought it would be sexy to "caress" my ball sack. By caress she meant bitch slap from side to side. FML

#4267516
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52863) - you deserved it (7093)

On 08/03/2009 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by BeboKhaos (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was handling corrosive chemicals when I accidentally spilled a beaker of Hydrochloric Acid on myself. I had to strip naked and use the emergency shower with my boss and my hot coworker watching. The worst part was when I realized my coworker was laughing at the size of my penis. FML

#4256639
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49179) - you deserved it (6036)

On 08/03/2009 at 2:33pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sitting on the train and some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML

#4181466
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7239) - you deserved it (64778)

On 07/31/2009 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I worked in a clinic as a intern. A nurse was called to dry a woman's hair. I followed her, trying to be a good intern. After the nurse was done, the 72 year old woman took off her bathrobe. While looking at me she sat down, her legs wide open. And, yes, she knew she was naked. FML

#4156850
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29839) - you deserved it (2203)

On 07/30/2009 at 9:33am - work - by Anonymous (man) - Germany (Baden-Wurttemberg) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I was walking down the strip with a friend when we saw a homeless man with no arm. I felt bad, so I gave him some cash and I looked into his poor little eyes when he put out his arm for a hug. Without thinking, I hugged him. Right as I was thinking, "wtf am I doing," he kissed my boob. FML

#4021792
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15711) - you deserved it (46922)

On 07/25/2009 at 1:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was standing by the bed naked, waiting for my wife to come out of the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to me, swinging her hips, wearing pratically nothing. About four feet from me, she trips on the edge of the floor mat, and uses my 'junk' to catch herself. FML

#3950301
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71650) - you deserved it (5682)

On 07/22/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by Gordon (man) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML

#3926899
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (12022)

On 07/21/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Pimp-Daddy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I set up a camera in my kitchen to see who was stealing my cookies. Turns out my mom had her boyfriend over. Good news, the cookies are safe. Bad news, I now have something recorded that I never wanted to see in my life. FML

#3926899
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37629) - you deserved it (12022)

On 07/21/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Pimp-Daddy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that even though my parents have been married for 21 years, our "family friend," who routinely accompanies us on family vacations, completes their threesome. Everyone in town has know for years, except for me and my older brother. FML

#3891505
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44878) - you deserved it (2090)

On 07/19/2009 at 10:05pm - intimacy - by whitechocolate (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I went into a restaurant and sat at a bar near three guys who appeared to be 19 or 20. They did not acknowledge me. 15 minutes later, my burger arrived. They all ran over to ask me about it. I haven't been hit on in months. My cheeseburger is more attractive to men than I am. FML

#3886225
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37917) - you deserved it (5839)

On 07/19/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by Tasty (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I proudly informed my boyfriend that I am now a size 4, down from an 18, after months of dieting and exercising after he told me he would like me to be a size 6. He broke up with me for "not listening to what he wanted" and "being an overachiever". FML

#3861516
366 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68605) - you deserved it (7336)

On 07/18/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by overachiever - United States (Illinois)

Today, I just found out that my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend are rooming together at college. Visits are going to be extremely awkward. FML

#3846556
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44239) - you deserved it (4885)

On 07/18/2009 at 12:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, it started raining unexpectedly. My daughter and I didn't have an umbrella, so my daughter raised one of my big flabby arms and put it over her head to protect her from the rain. It worked. FML

#3712266
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21710) - you deserved it (38435)

On 07/13/2009 at 7:30am - health - by letsloseweight (woman) - Korea Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)



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