Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

diceddiamonds

Search for a member

diceddiamonds

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 2818
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About diceddiamonds : Lol seriously fuck you all.

diceddiamonds's page activity

Visits<b>johndog699</b> - yesterday at 6:26am<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:39pm<b>JoshuaIsHott</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 2:59pm<b>evilamoebaattack</b> - the 07/13/2014 at 12:05am<b>tylermt1999</b> - the 06/18/2014 at 9:27am<b>tshurtz722</b> - the 06/08/2014 at 9:37pm<b>ryan5707</b> - the 05/11/2014 at 9:57pm<b>iHiccupBS</b> - the 02/23/2014 at 8:53am<b>Booda_Shun</b> - the 01/30/2014 at 1:57am<b>Dark_Zekrom</b> - the 01/29/2014 at 10:34pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 3:07pm<b>Sugarrrbabyyy</b> - the 01/18/2014 at 1:36pm<b>dextrementor</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 12:00am<b>jonathan896</b> - the 01/05/2014 at 8:45pm<b>butthole321</b> - the 12/30/2013 at 11:50pm<b>1deep4life</b> - the 12/13/2013 at 7:48pm<b>baseballdude1283</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 5:10am<b>scottmn2740</b> - the 11/20/2013 at 3:14pm

diceddiamonds's FML badges

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

The rules are the rules

Reading the comment rules is a really good idea. This badge is sponsored by our moderating team.

See all of diceddiamonds's badges

diceddiamonds's favorite FMLs

Today, I finished moving out of my apartment and decided to clean the fridge before I left. I pulled out a drawer that I never used and was shocked to find a moldy, rotten, decayed watermelon. I remembered that I had bought a watermelon the first week I moved into the apartment. Four years ago. FML

#4922753
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8730) - you deserved it (58451)

On 08/30/2009 at 2:29am - misc - by rydawg79 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62976) - you deserved it (16001)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, after spending $15,000 to treat my dog's cancer over the past two months, he died of kidney failure. FML

#4784383
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53469) - you deserved it (18154)

On 08/24/2009 at 1:33pm - misc - by w-dog (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had a double wedding with my sister. My mother, being as encouraging as she always is, told us that statistics say one of our marriages will end in divorce. She then explained she thinks it'll be mine because I'm 'a self-absorbed bitch'. FML

#4780151
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38904) - you deserved it (8229)

On 08/24/2009 at 7:33am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Constanta)

Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML

#4713882
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36207) - you deserved it (4108)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm - intimacy - by Ben (man) - United States

Today, I was on the elevator going up to a meeting, and the elevator was getting more and more crowded as we went up. After about ten people got on, they all agreed that I should get off the elevator because they thought me being on was exceeding the weight limit. FML

#4703567
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34373) - you deserved it (6650)

On 08/21/2009 at 5:27am - health - by tryingatkins (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that I'm immune to laughing gas and partially immune to novocaine while I was getting two teeth pulled. FML

#4609790
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49586) - you deserved it (2524)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:14pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I woke up with my girl laying next to me in bed. When she woke up we started to get hot and heavy but all of a sudden our cat hops on the bed. I guess the cat was more important cause my girl got up started playing it instead of me. Cockblocked by another pussy. FML

#4572543
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52866) - you deserved it (7881)

On 08/16/2009 at 1:04pm - intimacy - by Steve (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, at a family gathering, my aunt asked me when I was planning to have children. I'm only 16, I laughed and said not for a while, definitely not until I get married. My family shook their heads, and ignored me for the rest of the day. Apparently, teenage pregnancy is valued in my family. FML

#4555505
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58103) - you deserved it (2780)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:42pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I bought a freezer mug that looks like it's full of water. I've been playing tricks on my friends by throwing the empty cup at them. After doing this a few dozen times, my 83 year-old mother came to visit. I played the same trick on her. The joke's on me. My Dad filled the cup. FML

#4495233
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8224) - you deserved it (61006)

On 08/13/2009 at 3:27am - misc - by oldtexas (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, my parents decided to visit me. When I first got my apartment I gave them a key "just in case" and today they used this key to enter when I didn't answer their knocking. I didn't answer because I was having sex with my boyfriend. My parents saw everything. They didn't know I was gay. FML

Today, I went to the movies with my best friend. While waiting for it to start, I went on to describe this guy I really liked and how badly I wanted to do him. Just then the girl sitting behind us leans down and says "That's my little brother. So you're the creeper he talks about." FML

#4420726
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15037) - you deserved it (52525)

On 08/10/2009 at 2:12am - love - by HouseMdFangirl (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found what I assumed was my laptop, though my mother has the same one. As I opened it, I was greeted by a video of my father waving. He wasn't using his hands. FML

#4332975
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48629) - you deserved it (4323)

On 08/06/2009 at 11:40am - misc - by daddysboy123 (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I walked into my new maths class. I stepped inside only to be yelled at by the teacher for nearly 15 minutes. I was then told never to enter her class again and was sent to the principal. My identical twin brother was in her class the period before me. He also has a thing for older women. FML

#4329810
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58642) - you deserved it (2829)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:10am - misc - by slamo (man) - Australia (New South Wales)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: