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dicealater

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dicealater
  • Town/Country : Baltimore
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 69
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About dicealater : Fuck all of you. I mean that IS what this sites about, right?

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dicealater's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my new girlfriend to meet my grandmother. We were drinking coffee when my gran leaned to one side and let out a huge fart. Proud of herself, she added, "That one didn't pay his rent on time!" Coffee came out of my girlfriend's nose. FML

#20484951
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26065) - you deserved it (3147) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by jay ze punk - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, my girlfriend stuck her finger up my butt while giving me a hand-job, promising it would feel really good. It just felt awkward and made me need to poop. FML

#19703392
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32791) - you deserved it (8324)

On 05/30/2012 at 5:46am - intimacy - by Brax (man) - United States

Today, I took a picture in front of my bathroom mirror and posted it on Facebook. When I checked it later, it had 20 comments on the picture. I was feeling good until I read the comments and looked at the picture again. I left my vibrator on the the bathroom counter. FML

#19609877
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9487) - you deserved it (53691)

On 05/12/2012 at 12:24am - intimacy - by Hunter101 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14682) - you deserved it (25574)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

#19207829
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25477) - you deserved it (3465)

On 03/03/2012 at 8:23am - intimacy - by virginkiller (man) - Singapore

Today, as I was crossing the slush covered street to catch the bus, I slipped and fell right in the middle of the road. A woman in a car rolled down her window. She didn't ask if I was okay but just laughed and took a picture of me covered in cold, wet slush. FML

#18940266
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22264) - you deserved it (1823)

On 01/29/2012 at 2:36am - misc - by hopeless cluts (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving back home with my family. I had to sit quietly for half an hour, all while pretending I didn't notice my sister playing with herself under the coat on her lap. FML

#18891781
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39057) - you deserved it (3205)

On 01/23/2012 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by jjs51 (man) - United States

Today, I told my son he couldn't have a toy. He threw a fit, looked me in the eye, and screamed, "Daddy's right! You are a bitch!" The whole store was watching. FML

#18410529
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33629) - you deserved it (5840)

On 12/02/2011 at 8:22am - kids - by jessi - United States

Today, I learned no matter how much your friends pressure you, you must never snort lines of curry powder. FML

Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML

#17267205
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17163) - you deserved it (32632)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States

Today, I took a nap on the couch in the family room. My brother thought it would be hilarious to take clear packaging tape and put it on my chapped lips. Then rip it off. FML

#14442409
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (1902)

On 01/02/2011 at 7:36pm - misc - by ouch (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while sleeping over at my girlfriend's house for the first time, I got up to go to the bathroom. I went to go back and once in the room asked, "You ready for round two baby?" The light came on and at this moment I realized I went into her parents bedroom by mistake. FML

#14007811
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14519) - you deserved it (35087)

On 11/28/2010 at 2:10am - intimacy - by apavies444 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor's office, they did their regular check up, and found "odd red marks" on the inside of my thighs. They started to think it might be a skin disease, I had to explain to my mother and the doctor that it was a hickey from my boyfriend. FML

#13480134
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22607) - you deserved it (11783)

On 10/17/2010 at 12:37am - intimacy - by hickhick (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got a bad cut on my dominant hand while at work. My boss decided to order me to juice lemons... all 300 of them. FML

#13223944
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25600) - you deserved it (2424)

On 09/27/2010 at 5:06pm - work - by FoxyManicLiar - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss reached over and yanked up my shirt right above my breasts while she said, "I'm all for flaunting it if you've got it, but don't reveal that much cleavage, there are dirty old men that work here." FML

#13058451
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12124) - you deserved it (27174)

On 09/15/2010 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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