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diaspora

Offline (the 05/21/2015 at 11:56am) | Search for a member

diaspora

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Tokyo, Japan
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2129
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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diaspora's page activity

Visits<b>caaxo</b> - the 05/02/2015 at 5:37am<b>KabamWolf</b> - the 04/25/2015 at 5:19pm<b>mkrbrox</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 8:33pm<b>redstone7693</b> - the 04/09/2015 at 11:20pm<b>MrCheeseOnToast</b> - the 02/25/2015 at 1:42am<b>Kaboom3971</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:46am<b>disgruntledfox</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 11:13pm<b>mwali02</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:55am<b>xanneuhjj</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 7:53am<b>jaydoug92</b> - the 02/17/2015 at 5:13am<b>Ingalls9</b> - the 02/06/2015 at 9:26pm<b>LeavenSilva</b> - the 01/27/2015 at 11:41pm<b>moulchlo</b> - the 10/20/2014 at 1:23am<b>smartpants1014</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:30pm<b>Kyqk</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:22am<b>Miss_Whipped</b> - the 06/03/2014 at 12:23pm<b>Cherryta</b> - the 05/31/2014 at 11:00am<b>seth_felts</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 10:04pm

diaspora's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

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diaspora's favorite FMLs

Today, my cat was too overweight to get out of the litter box, so he gave up, and went to sleep. I had to pick him up out of his own waste and clean him up. FML

#20175044
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12548) - you deserved it (25342)

On 11/23/2012 at 10:10am - animals - by Jeanna S. - United States

Today, I was blessed with a girlfriend who loves giving blowjobs. And cursed with a girlfriend who is also somehow really bad at them. FML

#20174308
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32211) - you deserved it (8143)

On 11/22/2012 at 8:19pm - intimacy - by Janitoro (man) - United States

Today, on my job as a police officer, I received a typical domestic disturbance call. Not so typical was the address. Guess my wife's affair went terribly wrong while I was on shift. FML

#20155904
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42289) - you deserved it (1941)

On 11/09/2012 at 2:18am - love - by SebastianMiko (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

#20155705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32366) - you deserved it (1733)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10334) - you deserved it (40822)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

#20129645
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11230) - you deserved it (36304)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Dinger1992 - United States

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20126149
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20021) - you deserved it (5551)

On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after being totally in love with a guy since middle school, I finally had enough self confidence to go and talk to him. Turns out he's boring as fuck. I obsessed over this guy for nearly 4 years. FML

#20123261
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11040) - you deserved it (33394)

On 10/18/2012 at 10:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21982) - you deserved it (2775)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25998) - you deserved it (2398)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

#20121395
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20241) - you deserved it (1826)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:00pm - kids - by Uproar - Iceland

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37357) - you deserved it (10879) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29048) - you deserved it (5911)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

#19936379
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12784) - you deserved it (28561)

On 07/14/2012 at 7:15am - intimacy - by zstarr - United States (Georgia)

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

#19903103
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (9550)

On 07/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Aaron Lewis - United States (Kansas)



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