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diaspora

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diaspora

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  • Town/Country : Tokyo, Japan
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1837
  • Number of comments : 81
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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diaspora's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

42

You see, sonny boy, moderating FMLs is a bit like running a marathon.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of diaspora's badges

diaspora's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst in an argument with my girlfriend, I told her she was the craziest bitch I'd ever met. She responded with "Challenge accepted." I'm now terrified. FML

#20139786
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10306) - you deserved it (40756)

On 10/30/2012 at 2:08am - love - by Andrew (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dad was teaching me how to drive. He told me that stop signs with white outlines are "optional." I ran through the next one I saw and got pulled over by a cop. My dad is making me pay the ticket for being "that stupid." Thanks dad. FML

#20129645
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11208) - you deserved it (36244)

On 10/23/2012 at 9:19am - money - by Dinger1992 - United States

Today, my cat played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20126149
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20012) - you deserved it (5546)

On 10/21/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after being totally in love with a guy since middle school, I finally had enough self confidence to go and talk to him. Turns out he's boring as fuck. I obsessed over this guy for nearly 4 years. FML

#20123261
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11021) - you deserved it (33331)

On 10/18/2012 at 10:49pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I discovered my son, who has recently moved out of our home, eating his dog's food. His excuse? He wanted the new Pokemon game, and "compromises had to be made". FML

#20122132
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21931) - you deserved it (2769)

On 10/18/2012 at 4:33am - kids - by anon - Australia

Today, I received another death threat for teaching evolution in college. I'm a geology teacher. FML

#20121974
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25950) - you deserved it (2395)

On 10/18/2012 at 12:58am - work - by satanworshipper - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a phone call from my 6-year-old son's school telling me they were concerned about him as he wouldn't stop barking at the radiator. After talking to my husband about it, I found out he's been teaching him so he could see the look on my face. FML

#20121395
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20207) - you deserved it (1824)

On 10/17/2012 at 7:00pm - kids - by Uproar - Iceland

Today, after my shift at the police station, I went on a date with a girl I recently met. We had a great date, that is until I opened the car door for her, and out of habit, pushed down on her head as she got in. FML

#20037909
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37301) - you deserved it (10864) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/23/2012 at 4:28pm - love - by thekriss - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came out to my parents. I don't really fit any stereotype, I'm just an average guy who happens to be into guys. Ten minutes later, I overheard my mother say to my step-dad, "Should we redecorate his room pink?" FML

#20008307
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28031) - you deserved it (5783)

On 08/07/2012 at 8:11pm - misc - by ohai95 (man) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, I realized my boyfriend uses sex as a way to get me to stop talking. FML

#19936379
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12759) - you deserved it (28507)

On 07/14/2012 at 7:15am - intimacy - by zstarr - United States (Georgia)

Today, I bumped into a man on the street. I apologized and he picked up his wallet. To clear the awkward silence, I pointed out that his wallet looked like mine. It wasn't until I was on the next street that I realized it was my wallet. FML

#19903103
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24250) - you deserved it (9540)

On 07/07/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Aaron Lewis - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML

#19896420
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23698) - you deserved it (2301)

On 07/05/2012 at 6:15pm - misc - by Oh dear (woman) - Saint Vincent and the Grenadines (Saint George)

Today, I fell down my stairs while holding a carton of eggs I was going to use to egg my ex-boyfriend's house. Karma's definitely a bitch to me. FML

#19879302
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7368) - you deserved it (48641)

On 07/02/2012 at 2:07am - misc - by FuckYou - United States (California)

Today, I was walking past a homeless guy while smoking; he asked if he could have a cigarette. So I gave him one and said without thinking, "Sorry, it’s a menthol, but beggars can't be choosers." FML

#19878308
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8812) - you deserved it (24526)

On 07/01/2012 at 10:51pm - misc - by Misky (man) -

Today, a guy asked for my number at a party. As I was entering my number into his phone, my name and a picture of me popped up. I'm afraid I just met my stalker. FML

#19872110
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26240) - you deserved it (2774)

On 06/30/2012 at 4:09pm - love - by ohbiebjetaime (woman) - France



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