di973

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di973

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1835
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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di973's favorite FMLs

Today, the kids I was babysitting somehow found a pair of my underwear. They asked if they could use them to go parachuting. FML

by Anonymous / 08/04/2013 at 1:29am / United States (Ohio) / Kids

Today, I discovered that my wife named our kids after her former lovers. We have two sons and a daughter. FML

by Anonymous / 08/03/2013 at 11:29pm / United States (Delaware) / Love

Today, I crawled into bed with my boyfriend. He was snoring loudly which is how I knew he was passed out cold. Once I was under the blanket next to him, he slowly turned over, stared me straight in the face and said, "I have to kill you". Then started snoring again. FML

by mtr1594 / 07/31/2013 at 2:47am / United States (Nevada) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was in a restroom, reading this site, when another gentleman walked in. He washed his hands, dried them, nodded at me, then left. It wouldn't ordinarily be so weird, except I was in a one-person restroom. FML

by Anonymous / 07/15/2013 at 3:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had my driver's test in rural Maine. I hit a cow. FML

by Anonymous / 07/12/2013 at 1:24am / United States (Maine) / Transportation

Today, as part of my veterinary degree, I had to demonstrate how to jerk off a dog in front of my entire class. Afterwards, the lecturer said that I have the 'magic touch'. FML

by vet1 / 07/11/2013 at 11:18am / South Africa (Gauteng) / Work

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, while waitressing, I had a huge party. When everything was said and done I saw the tip they left me. It said on a napkin, "You're pretty. You can't put a value on a compliment." And that was it. I wish compliments paid the rent. FML

by Chellybelly92 / 07/01/2013 at 11:34am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Money

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went to get new shoes. I'm a pretty tall girl and I have proportional feet. I asked the cute guy who worked there for a size 9.5. He burst into laughter before putting on a shocked face and saying, "Oh wait... You're serious." Goodbye, self esteem. FML

by theyre not THAT big. / 07/01/2013 at 12:35am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

by sorry, kiddo / 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend's proposal speech somehow ended with him breaking up with me. FML

by confusedandnowsingle / 06/28/2013 at 8:23am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Love

Today, I went out on a date with a girl. Everything was going well until I shared how my family was affected by the 2010 earthquake in Haiti. She immediately got up and left, calling me a liar. Apparently, I'm "too cute" to be of Haitian descent. What the hell? FML

by Kn0wledge123 / 06/26/2013 at 1:27am / United States (Florida) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was bored so I began to try to convince my boyfriend that Albert Einstein was actually African-American, and that he painted himself white so he would be accepted as a scientist. Due to his competitive nature, he replied, "I already knew that babe." FML

by anonymous / 06/25/2013 at 2:12am / United States (Minnesota) / Geek

Today, my parents decided they are going to come with me on my first date. FML

by Overprotected / 06/19/2013 at 10:39am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

by Anonymous / 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm / United States / Intimacy