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dgates56

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dgates56

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 121
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dgates56's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

#6705813
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17003) - you deserved it (3809)

On 12/11/2009 at 4:26am - intimacy - by Tee (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that I had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML

#5057922
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9948) - you deserved it (64023)

On 09/05/2009 at 9:39am - love - by leahbeuhh (woman) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

#4329775
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65383) - you deserved it (11927)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:05am - intimacy - by OhFseriously123 (man) - Italy (Lombardia)

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

#3971030
316 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17115) - you deserved it (68310)

On 07/23/2009 at 2:42am - intimacy - by MitchFail (man) - United States

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

#3593613
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11872) - you deserved it (100051)

On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I roll over in bed and ask my boyfriend if we can go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3 p.m. FML

#1520642
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78625) - you deserved it (8472)

On 05/01/2009 at 10:17am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

#1012847
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12996) - you deserved it (74258)

On 04/16/2009 at 2:47am - misc - by filipinoclari808 (man) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

#963044
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43319) - you deserved it (28796)

On 04/14/2009 at 12:44am - love - by dramaqueen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

#560138
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (97203) - you deserved it (30142)

On 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by SLA (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

#168503
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (81409) - you deserved it (13973)

On 03/01/2009 at 3:45am - health - by Monty (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

#108815
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84000) - you deserved it (5619)

On 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm - misc - by Nick (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

#452
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71107) - you deserved it (3940)

On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

#452
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71107) - you deserved it (3940)

On 12/05/2008 at 3:12am - intimacy - by Mak1 - Belgium (Brabant)



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