dgates56

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dgates56

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 282
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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dgates56's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend and I were laying in his bed. I was watching the Terminator on T.V. A commercial came on in the middle of the movie. We just started having sex when the movie came back on he said "I'll be back." in the Arnold Schwartzenegger accent and rolled over to watch the movie. FML

by Tee / 12/11/2009 at 4:26am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the way to meet him. While chatting, I told him that I had a rip in my favorite jeans. When he sympathetically apologized, I said "It's okay, you're just going to take them off in a minute, anyway." I forgot my mom was in the car. FML

by leahbeuhh / 09/05/2009 at 9:39am / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Love

Today, I was having sex with a girl. She was really into it and not holding back on the noise...That is, until I received a text message from my little sister next door reading "If she is making that much noise, she is probably faking it...Trust me, I know." FML

by OhFseriously123 / 08/06/2009 at 6:05am / Italy (Lombardia) / Intimacy

Today, in the midst of foreplay, this girl tells me I am so hot, I respond "Ditto." She heatedly responds "I love ditto," to which I suavely reply "I didn't know you were into Pokémon. That may make you even sexier." She knows nothing about Pokémon, but I sure know how to kill the mood. FML

by MitchFail / 07/23/2009 at 2:42am / United States / Intimacy

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had woken up very excited to celebrate my 21st birthday. I roll over in bed and ask my boyfriend if we can go out to the park to have a picnic, considering the lovely weather. He looked up at me and said, "You wish I loved you that much." He rolled back over and slept until 3 p.m. FML

by Anon / 05/01/2009 at 10:17am / United States (Kentucky) / Love

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

by BerryRockstar / 04/21/2009 at 1:37pm / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was horsing around after my big test. Someone punched me softly on my back. Figuring it was my friend, I turned around and did a roundhouse kick. It was my girlfriend. FML

by filipinoclari808 / 04/16/2009 at 2:47am / United States (Hawaii) / Love

Today, I asked my boyfriend why he dates me. He immediately responded, "Well, TV shows are boring and predictable, so you're a good source of fresh and interesting drama." FML

by dramaqueen / 04/14/2009 at 12:44am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, my 11 year old brother walked in on me sitting on my boyfriend's ass and giving him a back massage. He tilted his head a little and then said "Aren't you guys doing it wrong? Isn't he supposed to be on top?" My boyfriend laughed and gave him a high-five. FML

by SLA / 03/23/2009 at 7:12pm / United States (Maryland) / Intimacy

Today, I was baking cookies. When I took the tray out of the oven I closed the door, but it bounced back open and hit me in the back of the knees. That caused me to sit down on the hot oven door. I was just wearing my short bathrobe and no underwear. I really burned my ass and um...stuff. FML

by Monty / 03/01/2009 at 3:45am / United States (Oregon) / Health

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

by Nick / 02/22/2009 at 10:04pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

by Mak1 / 12/05/2008 at 3:12am / Belgium (Brabant) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend told me in a very natural way that my mother is better at sex than me. FML

by Mak1 / 12/05/2008 at 3:12am / Belgium (Brabant) / Intimacy