About dextrementor : I play guitar.
I Don't give a shit if I offend you.
I Don't give a shit what you think of me.
About dextrementor : I play guitar.
dextrementor's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.
Keen reader – Level: student ninja
You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.
dextrementor's favorite FMLs
Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML
by birdfoooo / 11/29/2011 at 10:26am / United States / Transportation
by Anonymous / 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by jc2011 / 09/25/2011 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
by Dogless / 08/21/2011 at 1:51am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
Today, I returned home after a three-week trip to Jamaica. When I opened the door to my room, I was greeted by a swarm of bees and their enormous nest, which was attached to my doorknob. Apparently, I'd forgotten to close the window properly before I left. FML
by Anonymous / 04/28/2011 at 10:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked my friend to stop texting me, because I'm on a limited plan and didn't want to go over my limit. She responded by getting a group of her friends to text bomb me. I got well over a hundred one-word texts. FML
by Text / 04/25/2011 at 12:27pm / United States (Maryland) / Miscellaneous
Today, as I was out walking, one homeless man sitting with two others asked me for something to eat. Trying to do a good deed, I bought the three men a bag of apples. They then fought viciously over them before the first man chased me for handing them to "the wrong one." FML
by oops / 04/19/2011 at 11:37am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by welcometothefamily / 02/26/2011 at 9:03am / United States (Georgia) / Love
Today, I got a second notice from the mailman that my mail would not be delivered because of the pile of ice a plow had pushed in front of my mailbox. After getting the first notice, I'd spent an hour in the cold busting up the ice with a pick to clear a path. He put both notices in my mailbox. FML
by K / 02/15/2011 at 9:40pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 02/04/2011 at 12:42am / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 02/02/2011 at 4:47pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, while in a public restroom I could hear a guy having his way with his hand. He was quoting verses from the bible. I was in a cubicle and he was at the urinal. I was too frightened to leave. This went on for a very long time. FML
by biblewanker / 12/17/2010 at 11:05am / Australia / Intimacy
Today, I went to my parents' for the first time in months. Upon my arrival, I found out that I won't be spending the day with them because they've taken a car trip to attend a Sarah Palin book signing. FML
by Anonymous / 11/26/2010 at 1:18pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was mad at my mother. Why? We went to parent-teacher interviews, and she told my math teacher that she should allow bathroom breaks because I have a "very heavy menstrual flow." My teacher suggested I eat more red meat. They got into a seven-minute argument about this. FML
by noname / 11/07/2010 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Health
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, my energetic 10-month-old decided to stay up four hours past bedtime. After I FINALLY got…