Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dextrementor

Search for a member

dextrementor

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 414
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About dextrementor : I am a drummer, and I play acoustic guitar. Music is my life. I like everything from 40's to the 90's from classic rock to Screamo to rap to Spanish and German music. I wrestle, I'm also a big gamer. DC comics over Marvel and Batman is by far my favorite superhero... I don't judge anybody. I'm generally nice. I'm multi-lingual, I speak German, Spanish (native), Japanese, and obviously I don't speak English. Any other questions or you want to just nerd out message me

Kik: That_One_Guy1616

dextrementor's page activity

Visits<b>seemetrot</b> - yesterday at 10:50pm<b>AerBear115</b> - yesterday at 1:13pm<b>10nachoman10</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:49pm<b>Defalt</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:55pm<b>jacobfuhrman_</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:39am<b>Vanshikap</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 9:00am<b>justcallmezen</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:43am<b>TaylorWhiteGirl</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 8:09am<b>katebond</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 4:45am<b>sexyboi1985</b> - the 07/18/2014 at 4:58am<b>Faithilicious123</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 8:53pm<b>abdiG</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 4:05pm<b>muslimpride</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:34am<b>CammyGal</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 9:21am<b>loveexgirl</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 6:35am<b>RaspberryFlower</b> - the 07/16/2014 at 3:41am<b>leeebeeeee18</b> - the 07/15/2014 at 1:52pm<b>678bebe</b> - the 07/14/2014 at 5:51pm

Liked!<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:25pm

dextrementor's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of dextrementor's badges

dextrementor's favorite FMLs

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

#20950369
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41604) - you deserved it (3063)

On 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm - work - by thank god you'll only live once (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36378) - you deserved it (2954)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

#20539287
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49004) - you deserved it (24278)

On 03/11/2013 at 7:33am - intimacy - by ugh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

#19984638
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26170) - you deserved it (4883)

On 07/26/2012 at 1:39am - intimacy - by Jarman (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

#19928978
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32792) - you deserved it (2781)

On 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm - misc - by LetItRip - Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha)

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

#19285131
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23452) - you deserved it (6333)

On 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML

#18683836
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27181) - you deserved it (2308)

On 01/02/2012 at 4:44am - love - by haphazard2007 - United States (Arkansas)

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

#18529063
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22540) - you deserved it (3419)

On 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML

#18516515
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18196) - you deserved it (9340)

On 12/15/2011 at 12:00am - love - by scribbles1475 (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML

#18409440
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24617) - you deserved it (2349)

On 12/02/2011 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

#18384349
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5655) - you deserved it (45373)

On 11/29/2011 at 10:26am - misc - by birdfoooo - United States

Today, while I was waiting in line at McDonalds, I found out I can sneeze, pee, and poop all at the same time. FML

#17934817
281 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45473) - you deserved it (7079)

On 10/08/2011 at 12:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of grueling training and countless early mornings, I finally began the race I had been preparing for over the past year, only to slip and break my leg in the first 450 meters. FML

#17827481
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32541) - you deserved it (2485)

On 09/25/2011 at 3:23am - health - by jc2011 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, over a year on from my parents telling me my dog had died, I went to the shelter to volunteer, and saw my old dog. FML

#17534903
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45057) - you deserved it (2161)

On 08/21/2011 at 1:51am - animals - by Dogless - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had a full on "conversation" with my cat about her laying off the catnip. I really need to get out more. FML

#16138835
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11204) - you deserved it (23758)

On 05/12/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Anonymous -



FML's blog

  • Élodie's Illustrated FML
  • Aaaaah, the beach, the sunshine, cool water against our skin...  Nah, just kidding, I can't afford a trip to the beach. This blog is being written from a grotty apartment in the less salubrious parts of…

Friday 18 July 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: