dextrementor

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dextrementor

13Fucked!

dextrementor
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 September 1997 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 2687
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About dextrementor : I play guitar and I'm a drummer.

Look at all the fucks I don't give.
I Don't give a shit if I offend you.
I Don't give a shit what you think of me.
Got a problem?
Take it up with somebody who gives a shit.

dextrementor's page activity

Visits<b>rockergal21</b> - the 04/24/2016 at 11:33pm<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 04/06/2016 at 4:08pm<b>tin_cup</b> - the 03/24/2016 at 4:32pm<b>mguthrie51</b> - the 02/15/2016 at 9:47am<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 5:07pm<b>Ben_cerrony</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 5:02pm<b>crayon_chomper</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 3:44pm<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 8:07pm<b>smeegle</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 7:14pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 4:31pm<b>itsalanis</b> - the 01/20/2016 at 12:18pm<b>melisssa87</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 12:12pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 01/14/2016 at 9:58am<b>lucythomson</b> - the 01/10/2016 at 5:08pm<b>Errrka_Whale</b> - the 11/23/2015 at 9:59pm<b>reynaa</b> - the 11/22/2015 at 12:25pm<b>TheDragonsGuard</b> - the 11/19/2015 at 4:57pm<b>Elban</b> - the 11/18/2015 at 2:02pm

Fucked!<b>Iwtumn</b> - the 03/05/2016 at 2:41pm<b>Moskaaa7</b> - the 01/23/2016 at 11:41pm<b>apineapple</b> - the 08/06/2015 at 7:11am<b>whitetiger13131</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 8:51am<b>BBlah</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 4:10am<b>sheba72</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 3:25am<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 7:11am<b>Jreslier</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:08am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 9:56am<b>KawaiiSushii</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:19am<b>AvengingAngelx</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 6:10am<b>IamFrench</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:44am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:25pm

dextrementor's FML badges

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

Supersize Menu

You wanted you know what the top of the flops of all time was, and now you know.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of dextrementor's badges

dextrementor's favorite FMLs

Today, I told my parents I was thinking about joining the army. They looked at each other and laughed for about 10 minutes straight. I wasn't joking. FML

by IMSERIOUS / 01/22/2014 at 2:23pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, a girl I've never met before came up to me and punched me in the face, because she wanted to get suspended. FML

by Anonymous / 01/22/2014 at 11:30am / United States (Florida) / Health

Today, my parents started fighting at a restaurant. Embarrassed, I went to the restroom to get away and stayed in there for about 15 minutes, knowing how long their fights can last. When I came back, they were gone. They'd ditched me, and left me to walk several miles back home. FML

by daenerys stromboli / 12/28/2013 at 1:11pm / Ireland (Meath) / Miscellaneous

Today, in the lunch line at school, a kid literally ordered a "hamburger with extra swag." FML

by thank god you'll only live once / 11/08/2013 at 3:12pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

by ouch.... / 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Health

Today, at work as a gynecologist, I called in my last patient of the day. As soon as I took a peek, I noticed that she had stuck googly-eyes above her vagina. She told me with a straight face not to be afraid, because "She doesn't bite." FML

by Anonymous / 04/09/2013 at 2:01pm / United States / Health

Today, I was caught "experimenting" with my friend at his house. His parents called mine, and my dad came to drive me home. On the way back, he tried to cheer me up by saying, "Son, don't be ashamed. When I was your age, I sucked a few dicks myself." Thanks for the info, Dad. FML

by ugh / 03/11/2013 at 7:33am / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I had to turn down an offer of what seemed like some sexy time with a cute girl because my intestines were bursting with an intense desire to unleash molten lava. I rushed home to squat down, only to let out a disappointingly small piece of crud and a tiny fart. FML

by Jarman / 07/26/2012 at 1:39am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy

Today, I nailed every single move in my routine at a gymnastics competition. I then finished off with a perfect split, letting out a fart loud enough to wake up a kid in China. FML

by LetItRip / 07/12/2012 at 4:35pm / Czech Republic (Hlavni mesto Praha) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was sitting in my school's crowded auditorium. When our single, abstinence-only ballsack of a Sex Ed teacher was announced to be stepping down due to being pregnant, I burst into uncontrollable laughter. My reward was aching sides and a week of detention. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2012 at 9:31pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a gift from my wife in the form of divorce papers. She waited till after New Year's so it wouldn't show up on her taxes for 2011. FML

by haphazard2007 / 01/02/2012 at 4:44am / United States (Arkansas) / Love

Today, I discovered that for the last six months my mother has been leaving my TV on FOX while I sleep, in the hope that my subconscious will absorb it and turn me into "a morally-upright human being". FML

by Anonymous / 12/16/2011 at 5:02pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, after trying to find the perfect picture for the guy I have a huge crush on, I finally found one and sent it to him. His return picture? Himself in a Batman mask and sombrero. FML

by scribbles1475 / 12/15/2011 at 12:00am / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML

by Anonymous / 12/02/2011 at 1:36am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, as I was leaving Wal-mart, a huge group of birds settled along the wire above the street. I thought it would be hilarious to scare them, so I stuck my head out the window and screamed. The birds responded by simultaneously shitting on my car in very neat rows. FML

by birdfoooo / 11/29/2011 at 10:26am / United States / Transportation