Submit your FML story
- - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Offline (5 hours ago) | Search for a member
About dextrementor : I am a drummer, and I play acoustic guitar. Music is my life. I like everything from 40's to the 90's from classic rock to Screamo to rap to Spanish, Japanese and German music. I wrestle, I'm also a big gamer. DC comics over Marvel and Batman is by far my favorite superhero... Anime is also a big part of my life. I don't judge anybody. I'm generally nice. I'm multi-lingual, I speak German, Spanish (native), Japanese, and obviously I don't speak English. Any other questions or you want to just nerd out message me
Hard at Work
Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, after leaving my workplace, I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them, I was faced with the sight of my boss and a coworker getting it on against my desk. FML
Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML
Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML
Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML
Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML
Friday 17 October 2014