Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

dextrementor

Offline (14 hours ago) | Search for a member

dextrementor

10Fucked!

dextrementordextrementor
  • Town/Country : Waterford, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 25 September 1997 (17 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1967
  • Number of comments : 11
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About dextrementor : (Double bass) Drummer, and I play (acoustic) guitar. Music is my passion. DC, Adidas, MSU. I speak Spanish, I don't speak English (obviously); I don't judge anybody. Anything else you wanna know you can message.

dextrementor's page activity

Visits<b>sarahrosie1996</b> - the 07/28/2015 at 10:40pm<b>ocrud</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 7:14am<b>Anushka</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 6:46pm<b>puckislife7</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 2:50pm<b>yea_its_me123</b> - the 07/06/2015 at 10:06am<b>awkwardmess</b> - the 07/04/2015 at 6:04am<b>styles829</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 2:18pm<b>thisgirlsgotyou</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 10:07pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 06/28/2015 at 9:17am<b>LizzyMaher</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 8:02am<b>bebab</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 3:07am<b>porter1313</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 1:10am<b>warped_executive</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 3:03pm<b>ToxicPlant</b> - the 05/09/2015 at 2:03pm<b>amine91</b> - the 05/04/2015 at 3:26pm<b>funsizedliz</b> - the 04/20/2015 at 3:36pm<b>haylburg</b> - the 04/18/2015 at 3:02pm<b>annarcheer</b> - the 04/17/2015 at 5:59am

Fucked!<b>whitetiger13131</b> - the 03/24/2015 at 8:51am<b>BBlah</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 4:10am<b>sheba72</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 3:25am<b>imbatmanfir</b> - the 09/16/2014 at 7:11am<b>Jreslier</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 1:08am<b>shadyladyhh</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 9:56am<b>KawaiiSushii</b> - the 09/11/2014 at 5:19am<b>AvengingAngelx</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 6:10am<b>IamFrench</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:44am<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - the 05/12/2014 at 6:25pm

dextrementor's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

See all of dextrementor's badges

dextrementor's favorite FMLs

Today, I discovered that the laser disc player I used to have was not in fact a laser disc player but a Pioneer Laseractive. Broken ones sell on eBay for $200 and working ones sell for around $1000. I sold a working one for less than $100-worth of credit at a second-hand store. FML

#21102658
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36037) - you deserved it (17265)

On 04/02/2014 at 4:20am - misc - by Sad Nerd (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad told me that I can't wear leggings on Friday nights, because, "your butt is too distracting for my poker buddies." FML

Today, after leaving my workplace, I realized that I forgot some important work papers. When I went back to get them, I was faced with the sight of my boss and a coworker getting it on against my desk. FML

#21087500
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52403) - you deserved it (4877)

On 03/15/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I learned that no matter how much you want the Nutella, it's never a good idea to deep-throat the knife. FML

#21073034
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18062) - you deserved it (57593)

On 02/27/2014 at 9:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48827) - you deserved it (17779)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, while playing a big basketball game, I had to run urgently to the bathroom because of a really hard diarrhea. I took the ball. FML

#21055217
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39115) - you deserved it (7514)

On 02/09/2014 at 9:36am - misc - by took it - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't think he should marry me, because I have kids. They're his kids. FML

#21055090
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55125) - you deserved it (7181)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:20am - love - by Tara115 (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

#21055088
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41896) - you deserved it (12073)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:12am - love - by look before you speak - United States

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

#21050703
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47674) - you deserved it (4869)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:25pm - love - by BigLove (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my brother came to my first standup comedy act. He'd apparently read my material beforehand, and kept finishing my jokes for me. FML

#21050455
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51736) - you deserved it (5202)

On 02/04/2014 at 5:08pm - misc - by DeeDee - Austria (Wien)

Today, I'm a little over a month pregnant. My fiancé has decided that if we both act like I'm not pregnant, "the baby will get the hint and go away". FML

#21050194
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54845) - you deserved it (6741)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:50am - kids - by LadyDeadpool88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML

#21049518
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56927) - you deserved it (6493)

On 02/03/2014 at 5:47pm - love - by well i'm fucked (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, me and my boyfriend were having sex. As we were getting into it, his cat came into the room, sat, and stared us down with what looked like disapproving eyes. After 5 minutes had gone by, we stopped completely. A cat just cock blocked me. FML

#21045897
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47784) - you deserved it (7059)

On 01/31/2014 at 1:16am - intimacy - by CatBlock (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was sitting on the couch, watching The Avengers with my 4-year-old daughter, who loves the Hulk. When Hulk finally showed up, she excitedly looked at me and screamed, "Hulk Smash" before slamming both of her fists into my balls. FML

#21044971
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52507) - you deserved it (6541)

On 01/30/2014 at 7:34am - kids - by Anonymous - United States



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: