About dewberry2001 : I enjoy music, cars, my daughter, her mother, and people. I love talking to people from different parts of the world so male or female hit me up. I'm in a relationship and am very faithful so I wont bug you with thirst lol.
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dewberry2001's favorite FMLs
Today, I stayed over at my boyfriend's house for the first time. He soon found out about my sleep-talking habit. I started ranting about "electron shaming" and I apparently passionately support their "sub-atomic lifestyle". Yes, he managed to get it on video. FML
by wantmeasandwich / 07/10/2015 at 12:57pm / India (Maharashtra) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/08/2015 at 4:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love
Today, my neighbor yelled at me for driving recklessly. I was going 35 mph, and she was stopped in the middle of a road around a blind curve. My "reckless driving" was slamming on the brakes so I wouldn't hit her. FML
by _whyy_mee / 07/02/2015 at 2:00pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by smokecloud_ / 07/02/2015 at 2:40am / United States (Ohio) / Work
Today, at my job at a ceramics store, I was loading a $300 statuette into a woman's car when I saw a dismembered foot in the trunk. I was so startled that I dropped the statuette and it shattered. Turns out the foot was fake and now my boss says I have to pay for the damage. FML
Today, I underwent surgery and feeling rather groggy upon being awoken, I very loudly declared, "I've always had a thing for doctors. Kiss me?" then promptly giggled, tried to launch myself in a random doctor's arms and fell flat on my face. FML
by Anonymous / 06/12/2015 at 3:43pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Love
Today, my mom found my weed stash and went berserk, grounding me and saying she's going to have my bedroom door removed. Less than an hour later, I found her laughing and smoking the same stash with my dad in the backyard. FML
by lehonX9 / 06/06/2015 at 5:11am / Germany (Niedersachsen) / Miscellaneous
by CassidyQueen / 06/05/2015 at 10:14pm / United States (Missouri) / Love
Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply "#rekt", then "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML
by kumcat / 01/11/2015 at 12:57am / United States (Illinois) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/28/2014 at 9:49pm / United States (Delaware) / Intimacy
Today, I was watching TV with my husband, and he started getting frisky. When the commercial break started, we started having sex. When he came, there were still two commercials left before the show resumed. FML
by erjazo / 12/31/2013 at 4:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
by smokecloud_ / 12/30/2013 at 4:38pm / United States (Ohio) / Love
by Lucie / 12/22/2013 at 8:51pm / United States (New York) / Love
Today, I went to a nativity play. My husband showed up late and drunk, and I had to explain to him why booming "Yeah! Time to get baby Jesus up in this shit!" when our son was about to go on stage got us kicked out. FML
by bastard / 12/22/2013 at 4:28pm / United States / Kids
Today, I was chatting with my mother. She was telling me about some new mouthwash she recently got, and the moment the word "gargle" escaped her lips, my husband muttered just a little too loudly from the kitchen, "How about gargling my balls instead, bitch." Our family is now at war. FML
by Anonymous / 12/08/2013 at 3:39pm / United States / Miscellaneous
- Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted…