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About devilyy : Guess who's back,and more of a brunette than ever :P.
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, my husband discovered that whispering anything in my ear will turn me on. He turned to me and whispered 'cheeseburger' in my ear. Unfortunately, I moaned. Now he now laughs about it with our roommate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19229) - you deserved it (12915)
On 08/07/2010 at 9:05pm - intimacy - by Indigo_Kitten (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my four year old told my mother-in-law that our house is haunted because she hears a ghost at night saying "oh" and daddy's name as if they're hurt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20866) - you deserved it (12269)
On 08/06/2010 at 10:35pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)
Today, I was babysitting for my mum's friend. I put her little boy on my knee, and he kept pulling at my top. I asked him "are you hungry?" He replied "No, I want to see your titties." FML
I agree, your life sucks (29859) - you deserved it (7743)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:25am - intimacy - by Embarressed... (woman) - United Kingdom (Derbyshire)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19653) - you deserved it (35899)
On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)
Today, my 23-year old boyfriend is not talking to me because I bought the regular kind of macaroni and cheese instead of the cartoon kind. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26137) - you deserved it (12385)
On 07/16/2010 at 3:45pm - misc - by liz - United States (California)
Today, I got bitch-slapped by a walrus at Sea Life Park. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30443) - you deserved it (7342)
On 07/13/2010 at 12:34am - misc - by Betchsadface - United States
Today, my boyfriend and I got into a fight. Doubting our relationship, I asked him seriously if he loved me. He looked thoughtful, gathered me in his arms and said, "If I say yes, will you be less pissed?" and then tried to stick his hand down my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29283) - you deserved it (11739)
On 07/07/2010 at 6:56am - intimacy - by BadLuckinLove (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my youngest son thought that RedBull actually gave him wings. What it actually gave him was a trip to the ER and 7 stitches. It also gave me a meeting with social services. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33332) - you deserved it (5628)
On 06/27/2010 at 9:30am - kids - by DaddyZ (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I found out my 19 year old daughter is pregnant. The father is a toss up between my 45 year-old best friend, and the 30 year old guy who cleans our pool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47690) - you deserved it (5258)
On 06/15/2010 at 9:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I got a bird as a pet. I thought it would be funny to put it on my head and take a picture. When the flash went off the bird flew off my head and pooped at the same time. You could see it in the picture. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8104) - you deserved it (28898)
On 06/15/2010 at 12:58pm - love - by Keaton - United States (New Mexico)
Today, the bartender pulled me aside and told me that she saw my date slip something into my drink. Who was my date? My husband of four years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23524) - you deserved it (1565)
On 03/03/2010 at 12:37am - misc - by holycrap (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, my mum got drunk at a party and flashed me and my friends. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28459) - you deserved it (2147)
On 01/27/2010 at 5:20am - misc - by Sundendako (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I pretended to smoke a bread stick that looked like a cigar. It made me feel cool. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7648) - you deserved it (24643)
On 12/07/2009 at 1:06am - misc - by CH (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I was in line in the grocery store with my 3 year old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had a cow with sunglasses on on it. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36400) - you deserved it (2101)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, I locked my keys in my car. My spare keys are 45 minutes away in my dorm room. My dorm room keys are attached to my car keys locked in my car. Security said they would let me in as long as I had my school ID. It's on my keychain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19029) - you deserved it (5037)
On 10/13/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Maine)
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