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devendarling

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devendarling
  • Town/Country : State College, United States
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 May 1987 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 555
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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devendarling's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

#15804497
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31695) - you deserved it (4014)

On 04/16/2011 at 4:39am - love - by Username - United States

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

#15800511
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25450) - you deserved it (5430)

On 04/15/2011 at 10:04pm - work - by :| - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13853) - you deserved it (22799)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

#15057968
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38220) - you deserved it (4100)

On 02/20/2011 at 10:28pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

#15052365
392 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6864) - you deserved it (93417)

On 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm - misc - by :/ - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24001) - you deserved it (4118)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24001) - you deserved it (4118)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML

#14034563
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9483) - you deserved it (31782)

On 11/30/2010 at 10:23am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

#13588897
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8856) - you deserved it (58767)

On 10/25/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by leve80paladin (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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