devendarling

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devendarling

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 30 May 1987 (29 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 747
  • Number of comments : 33
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 9 posted

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devendarling's page activity

Visits<b>cokeman666</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 10:20am<b>kremmel</b> - the 04/14/2012 at 12:35am<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 11:32pm<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 10:43am<b>BaBiiSpAnKy821</b> - the 12/19/2009 at 9:38pm<b>sarah123gum</b> - the 09/25/2009 at 12:24am

devendarling's FML badges

Perfectionist

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Up and coming moderator

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Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

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devendarling's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on my first official date I've been on since my divorce. Things were going great until he ordered his fourth 32oz beer; he got hammered and became a horny octopus. Oh, and he farted whiled trying to give me a goodnight kiss. FML

by Username / 04/16/2011 at 4:39am / United States / Love

Today, I was sitting in the park eating a sandwich, when a homeless guy asked me for some spare change. I said I didn't have any. He offered an "erotic striptease" in exchange for my sandwich. I said no. He gave one anyway. I walked back to work on an empty stomach. FML

by :| / 04/15/2011 at 10:04pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

by phillyfan4life / 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm / United States (Delaware) / Animals

Today, I went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. Turns out, I have a third boob. FML

by Anonymous / 02/20/2011 at 10:28pm / Canada / Health

Today, I had my buddies over for a few beers and, trying to be cool, I told my wife to get out of the living room and back in the kitchen. I felt smug, right up until she said, "Why? Your mom doesn't need to be turned over for another 20 minutes, dick." FML

by :/ / 02/20/2011 at 1:44pm / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

by Michelle / 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

by Michelle / 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I lied when my therapist asked why I preferred Tuesday morning appointments. It's actually because World of Warcraft is down for regularly scheduled maintenance. FML

by Anonymous / 11/30/2010 at 10:23am / United States (California) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and my parents staged an intervention, and have asked me to go to rehab. What they want me to go to rehab for? World of Warcraft. FML

by leve80paladin / 10/25/2010 at 11:06am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous