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devans00

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devans00
  • Town/Country : Silicon Valley, CA, USA
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 4 October 1968 (45 years)
  • Number of visits : 541
  • Number of comments : 79
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About devans00 : http://twitter.com/devans00

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devans00's FML badges

I’m your new creative director

You had to give your opinion on this new “piece” that the whole world is talking about.

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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devans00's favorite FMLs

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18277) - you deserved it (2689)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I killed a centipede. Now every little itch I feel, I think it's the centipede's spirit coming back to haunt me. FML

#17188633
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13757) - you deserved it (39823)

On 07/20/2011 at 8:36am - misc - by ElixirRose - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML

Today, I accidentally clamped my hair straightener down on my ear. Eleven hours later, it still feels like I have a burning, swollen fireball hanging off the side of my head. FML

#15681998
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24807) - you deserved it (10623)

On 04/07/2011 at 5:18pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered that the demonic voice that made me nearly piss myself all night, was my sister's Furby she stuck in the closet. FML

#15219004
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31364) - you deserved it (5399)

On 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm - misc - by Spooked (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML

Today, I was having a bad day at work. Then, on my coffee break, a little boy walked up to me and told me I was the prettiest girl he'd ever seen. I'm a boy. FML

#14788536
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28735) - you deserved it (6257)

On 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm - misc - by imsadnow (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I met up with an old high school friend who I used to make fun of because he put so much effort into his studies. Turns out he makes my annual salary in a month. FML

#14322197
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6419) - you deserved it (80535)

On 12/24/2010 at 10:12am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was eating lunch at McDonald's when an older man sat down at the table next to me and told me I was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. I'm a 20 year old man. FML

#13715432
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29085) - you deserved it (5180)

On 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML

#13167367
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11056) - you deserved it (42623)

On 09/23/2010 at 7:01am - misc - by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I had an elderly woman come up to me and tell me how well I pull off the look of being bald. She said that most women can't look attractive without hair. Then she asked me if I had cancer. I had to explain to her that I am, in fact, a man, and I shave my head because I'm a swimmer. FML

#12448497
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29927) - you deserved it (3761)

On 08/11/2010 at 4:10am - health - by Jayswizzle (man) - United States (Colorado)



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