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devans00's favorite FMLs
by shitlicker / 12/07/2015 at 11:38pm / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, I was delivering pizza. When I went up to the front door, an elderly lady answered. She was wearing a floral dress that went down to her shins and had a Nicolas Cage mask on with eye holes cut out. When I glanced behind her, I saw her cats had them too. FML
by nicholascageonyourface / 06/09/2013 at 1:13am / United States (Nebraska) / Miscellaneous
Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML
by dogh8er / 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by ElixirRose / 07/20/2011 at 8:36am / United States (Georgia) / Animals
Today, I was out shopping. It was fine until my dental crossbow broke as I was laughing. The springs locked, and I couldn't close my mouth. The orthodontist couldn't see me for two hours, leaving me to walk around town with my mouth hanging open like a psychopath. FML
by rockyrocket / 04/26/2011 at 3:19pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/07/2011 at 5:18pm / United States / Health
by Spooked / 03/06/2011 at 2:38pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Kids
Today, I was babysitting a little girl. We were colouring, and she told me she wanted to draw a picture of me. After she was done, she showed me the picture. I'm drawn as a fat cow. The worst part is, the picture actually looks kinda like me. FML
by magoo16 / 02/21/2011 at 12:48pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids
by imsadnow / 01/31/2011 at 3:01pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 12/24/2010 at 10:12am / United States / Money
by Anonymous / 11/04/2010 at 3:07pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
Today, after I got off work, as I walked into the house, I noticed something running across the floor towards me and out of complete terror I kicked it halfway across my living room, not knowing what it was. Turns out it was my roommate's new puppy. FML
by nackpattywhackgiveadogabone / 09/23/2010 at 7:01am / United States (Arizona) / Animals
Today, I had an elderly woman come up to me and tell me how well I pull off the look of being bald. She said that most women can't look attractive without hair. Then she asked me if I had cancer. I had to explain to her that I am, in fact, a man, and I shave my head because I'm a swimmer. FML
by Jayswizzle / 08/11/2010 at 4:10am / United States (Colorado) / Health
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