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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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dev12387

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dev12387
  • Town/Country : Not specified
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  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 164
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dev12387's favorite FMLs

Today, while I was walking downtown a homeless person asked me for a dollar. I thought it would be funny to wave the dollar in his face and taunt him. I guess he thought it would be funny to stab me in the leg with a pencil. FML

#4331370 (815)

I agree, your life sucks (654) - you deserved it (278743)

On 08/06/2009 at 9:35am - misc - by who_could_it_be - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML

#4081805 (148)

I agree, your life sucks (52341) - you deserved it (2139)

On 07/27/2009 at 3:07pm - misc - by webperson04 (man) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I sent a forward to everyone in my phonebook saying, "HOUSE PARTY-NO PARENTS, LOTS OF ALCOHOL, MAYBE A CHANCE TO HOOK UP." I then got a reply from my mom saying, "I'm probably the only one that would show up." Even my mom thinks I'm a loser, and I'm now grounded for 3 weeks. FML

#4052312 (182)

I agree, your life sucks (6862) - you deserved it (58681)

On 07/26/2009 at 11:25am - misc - by racchhh (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I tried to break up with my boyfriend. He said no. FML

#3991086 (384)

I agree, your life sucks (47711) - you deserved it (20011)

On 07/23/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by Ella (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was with my girlfriend in her room. She starts screaming. Her father bursts in and, thinking I'm some kind of rapist, hits me in the head with a baseball bat. Not bad enough? I wasn't the one making her scream. There was a huge spider on the wall. FML

#927361 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (76545) - you deserved it (2878)

On 04/12/2009 at 2:11pm - animals - by spiderhater (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

#761206 (480)

I agree, your life sucks (167979) - you deserved it (51066)

On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my school handed out the new yearbook. I was so excited to be on the cover page in a group shot with all my friends until I realized that I was having a boner at the time the pic was taken. These books go out to the whole school. Everyone noticed. FML

#537010 (183)

I agree, your life sucks (71924) - you deserved it (13501)

On 03/22/2009 at 7:06pm - intimacy - by caughtontape - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I awoke to the sound of my dad knocking on my dorm room door for a surprise visit. He's barely outside the door and I pull the door open and say hey, when my roommate strips naked pulls the door open, kisses me on the cheek, says in an uber-gay voice, "Thanks for last night", and leaves. FML

#527227 (490)

I agree, your life sucks (154530) - you deserved it (18173)

On 03/22/2009 at 6:38am - intimacy - by konens_dick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I had to sleep in the same room as my grandparents. They checked to see if I was asleep, so I pretended to be to avoid getting scolded for staying up. Turns out they were checking so that they could make love. I witnessed two 70-year-olds have sex in the bed next to me for 20 minutes. FML

#507959 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (148885) - you deserved it (15215)

On 03/21/2009 at 11:38am - intimacy - by Mike (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML

#481631 (523)

I agree, your life sucks (249122) - you deserved it (34308)

On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230 (111)

I agree, your life sucks (96092) - you deserved it (26874)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML

#361047 (1012)

I agree, your life sucks (404630) - you deserved it (241693)

On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got caught stealing lollies. I am 25. FML

#2620 (58)

I agree, your life sucks (4486) - you deserved it (36124)

On 01/26/2009 at 8:28am - misc - by Timmy - Sent from mobile version

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

#2244 (29)

I agree, your life sucks (4131) - you deserved it (14621)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)

Today, my cat didn't quite manage to eat the whole turkey because it was frozen. He just licked it all over. FML

#615 (25)

I agree, your life sucks (14326) - you deserved it (3016)

On 12/28/2008 at 2:02am - animals - by bundie - Sent from mobile version