deutschland129

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Offline (the 04/28/2016 at 9:30am)

deutschland129

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deutschland129
  • Town/Country : Santiago, Chile
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 29 January 1997 (19 years old)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1204
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

About deutschland129 : German, living in Chile on a gap year.

deutschland129's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 7:38am<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 02/12/2016 at 2:40am<b>yellow33</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 9:07pm<b>JordanA136</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 3:12pm<b>914smv</b> - the 02/10/2016 at 10:44am<b>agostina_mc</b> - the 02/08/2016 at 2:19pm<b>PaulChristie</b> - the 02/06/2016 at 10:51am<b>jadeluv</b> - the 01/28/2016 at 10:04am<b>Bruhjf</b> - the 01/27/2016 at 4:57am<b>johny93</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 11:03am<b>ciaraash</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 2:39am<b>IchigoDeathGod</b> - the 01/12/2016 at 10:50pm<b>Captain_Brittain</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 7:33pm<b>BBlah</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 10:21pm<b>jarobjent</b> - the 11/07/2014 at 2:42am<b>nubbles10</b> - the 07/26/2014 at 4:31pm

Fucked!<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 01/13/2016 at 4:22am<b>BBlah</b> - the 11/06/2014 at 8:13pm

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deutschland129's favorite FMLs

Today, I was giving my friend a crash course in Star Wars over coffee. As I was telling him about the primitive and savage Sand People, some attention-seeking tit came out of nowhere and called me racist. Apparently she thought I was talking about people from the Middle East. FML

by Anonymous / 12/18/2015 at 2:58pm / Australia (Victoria) / Geek

Today, I had to explain to my Romanian colleague that, no, a cat flap is not a euphemism for a vagina. FML

by Anonymous / 12/06/2015 at 8:07am / Intimacy

Today, I approached a hot female security guard and attempted to compliment her new tattoos. Instead of saying, "Nice tats", I ended up saying, "Nice tits". My HR meeting is tomorrow morning. FML

by babbling idiot / 08/14/2015 at 5:35am / Canada / Work

Today, I woke up early and took my medication to help me focus while catching up on lectures. I ended up spending the whole day focused on fixing my drawer for no apparent reason. FML

by distracted / 07/13/2015 at 9:56am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, as always, I have a type of eczema that flares up when I'm stressed out or anxious. And today, the girl I've been in love with for 4 years asked me out on a date. We meet up in a few hours, and right now I look like I have smallpox. FML

by Anonymous / 07/10/2015 at 1:07pm / United States / Health

Today, instead of canceling for the third consecutive time due to work-related reasons, my boyfriend sent his twin brother on our date. They both thought I wouldn't notice. FML

by Anonymous / 07/08/2015 at 4:50pm / United States (New Jersey) / Love

Today, I told my boyfriend how my mom died when I was 11 after crashing her car into a tree at night. He muttered "Women drivers." FML

Today, while waiting the required 5 minutes for my hair removal cream to work, my cat rubbed all over my legs while I wasn't looking. After getting clawed to death throwing her in the bath to get the cream off, all her hair on that side fell off. I now have a half hairless cat. FML

by coolcat10156 / 07/08/2015 at 3:04am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, my neighbor's son siphoned the fuel out of my lawn mower and put it in his car. What he didn't realize is that the fuel mixture I use in my lawn mower would ruin his car engine. His dad says it's my fault and actually insists I should pay his pissant son's repair bill. FML

by Anonymous / 06/13/2015 at 8:42am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, my dad came to my 8-year-old daughter's birthday party wearing a shirt that said "Small penis, huge dick." FML

by Anonymous / 05/23/2015 at 3:03am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was supporting my aunt as she gave birth. She was getting tired during the pushing stage, so I tried to encourage her by making a show of pushing as well with each contraction. I got a little too into it and accidentally gave birth to a little turd of my own. FML

by nityasomaiya / 05/16/2015 at 1:34am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I desperately needed to let off some steam at work, so I went outside and screamed obscenities at the top of my lungs, before heading back inside. The police then showed up to investigate complaints of a "raving lunatic" in the area. FML

by RavingLunatic / 05/01/2015 at 6:17pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, I caught my teenage daughter doing her laundry for the first time ever. She had piles of black and white, but then she threw them together in the washing machine. I told her blacks and whites were supposed to be separate, but she just said, "End the segregation, mom." FML

by Anonymous / 04/12/2015 at 4:57pm / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, my coworker pointed to our nervous new intern and asked who he was. I jokingly said, "Can't you tell? He's our new slave." I then quickly realized how bad that sounded, given the intern is black. FML

by smooth / 12/30/2014 at 8:39pm / United States / Work

Today, I farted while I was in the car with my driving instructor and my partner. They couldn't hear it, but it smelled so bad that my instructor thought there was a gas leak, and he made us switch cars. FML

by Gassy and sassy / 12/07/2014 at 1:15am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Transportation