Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

deuceswild

Offline (the 11/21/2014 at 8:14am) | Search for a member

deuceswild

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 407
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About deuceswild : Hi. :) I'm a senior in college, and that is a picture of the most delicious cake I've ever had.

deuceswild's page activity

Visits<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 11/13/2014 at 2:09pm<b>RocketmanWelbz</b> - the 11/12/2014 at 10:37pm<b>DaggNabbit</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 3:17pm<b>darrend1196</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 11:33am<b>Calaraphea</b> - the 04/23/2014 at 12:50pm<b>thebestintheworl</b> - the 04/16/2014 at 2:46am<b>Le_Doctor</b> - the 04/04/2014 at 11:03pm<b>yeahthatsmeee</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 5:06pm<b>wilburhp</b> - the 04/01/2014 at 2:43am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 7:58am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 02/07/2014 at 2:01pm<b>Cupcake040</b> - the 01/28/2014 at 1:34pm<b>dmoran20</b> - the 01/23/2014 at 10:18pm<b>Dobhrionn</b> - the 01/04/2014 at 9:43pm<b>Broadway_Vayne</b> - the 12/11/2013 at 7:39pm<b>ladyfingers</b> - the 12/06/2013 at 9:39am<b>molague12</b> - the 11/29/2013 at 2:33am<b>SatanP13</b> - the 09/03/2013 at 10:27am

deuceswild's FML badges

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

See all of deuceswild's badges

deuceswild's favorite FMLs

Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

#21281417
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29261) - you deserved it (2342)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:00pm - animals - by Why Me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38290) - you deserved it (2806)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my fiancé said "Rachel" instead of my name when asked to repeat, "I take thee, Emily, to be my lawfully wedded wife." I was shocked, so he explained while laughing that he doesn't even know a Rachel. He ruined our wedding for a Friends quote. FML

Today, my brain decided to go into suicide mode. So far I've managed to open a fridge door into my face, walk balls-first into the corner of a table, and sliced my finger while trying to cut open some thick plastic packaging with scissors. I'll probably be dead by the time this is posted. FML

#21165186
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48071) - you deserved it (5567)

On 06/06/2014 at 5:26pm - health - by FMyBrain (man) - United States (Alaska)

Today, in the fitting rooms at work, a 10-year-old kid threw a coat-hanger directly at my face. The kid's father didn't apologise on his behalf, but instead congratulated him on what he called "a wicked shot". FML

#21162381
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43389) - you deserved it (3949)

On 06/04/2014 at 1:07am - work - by anonymous - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I woke up to a loud crashing in the middle of the night. I went to investigate, but found nothing amiss. Nothing except an axe firmly wedged in my front door, that is. It's safe to say that I have no clue who did it, and that I needed a fresh pair of underwear. FML

#20999316
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43239) - you deserved it (2549)

On 12/20/2013 at 4:05pm - misc - by nopissleft (man) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, at work, my buddy pulled up in his car. I handed him $40, and he handed me a bag. It must have looked like a drug deal, but he was actually just smuggling in the new Pokémon game for me. I'm 22, and a drug deal would probably have been less embarrassing to explain. FML

#20109009
212 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18238) - you deserved it (7083)

On 10/09/2012 at 12:03pm - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML

#17490517
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24790) - you deserved it (5156)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by froggylicious - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, after watching over my drunken mother all last night to make sure she didn't choke on her own vomit, I came to the conclusion that at the age of 53, she's more of a party animal than I ever will be. I'm a 22 year old man. FML

#15799533
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26867) - you deserved it (4839)

On 04/15/2011 at 8:52pm - misc - by ForeverAlone (man) - United Kingdom (Staffordshire)

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33416) - you deserved it (3246)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I quit my job as a barista for one of our competitors with a couple of bucks more an hour. Two hours after I'd handed in my resignation, my boss approached me just to let me know that if I hadn't resigned, I would've been offered my own café. FML

#13341352
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15269) - you deserved it (28638)

On 10/06/2010 at 9:58am - misc - by thecasbah - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I quit my job as a barista for one of our competitors with a couple of bucks more an hour. Two hours after I'd handed in my resignation, my boss approached me just to let me know that if I hadn't resigned, I would've been offered my own café. FML

#13341352
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15269) - you deserved it (28638)

On 10/06/2010 at 9:58am - misc - by thecasbah - Norway (Oslo)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30237) - you deserved it (3726)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was going to ask my parents for advice on how to get my ex-girlfriend back. I overheard them talking about how glad they were that their plan to break us up worked so well. I don't think I should ask for advice anymore. FML

#6669217
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30701) - you deserved it (2208)

On 12/08/2009 at 7:44pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: