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detectivedipsiht

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detectivedipsiht

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 1 January 1935 (79 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 81
  • Number of comments : 27
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

About detectivedipsiht : 'half the sh*t I say, I just make it up, to make you mad'
you can't save people from themselves.
Dr Zoidberg is my hero. Who watches the watchmen?
**only message me if you're over 18**

detectivedipsiht's page activity

Visits<b>foreveralonek</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 2:25pm<b>fatimeshala</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 8:07pm<b>godspeedkills</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 3:42am<b>cherrio27</b> - the 09/05/2014 at 3:02pm<b>PerditaDessa</b> - the 09/02/2014 at 5:38am<b>AH1Zviper</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 9:14pm<b>windell</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 1:33pm<b>euphoricness</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 7:00pm<b>alex_622</b> - the 08/30/2014 at 3:37pm<b>Ironmayhem</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 11:58pm<b>RandEm2497</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 1:13pm<b>triSARAtopsRAWR</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 2:21am<b>staaacey</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 11:05pm<b>rncannon</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 10:25pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 6:14pm<b>BunchieRules</b> - the 08/25/2014 at 1:35am<b>simsimbeep</b> - the 08/24/2014 at 10:28pm<b>bolshevisky</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 9:07pm

detectivedipsiht's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

Who’s the fairest of them all?

This is now the third time you’ve changed your profile pic.

See all of detectivedipsiht's badges

detectivedipsiht's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to find a huge zit directly between my two eyebrows. My friends have started calling me "The North Star." FML

#21253662
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (3222)

On 09/07/2014 at 11:55am - health - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. All I can remember is crying to my mom because I thought spoons were taking over the world. FML

Today, I was playing Mario Kart with my wife. I threw a blue shell and it hit her. She then refused to speak to me for three hours straight until right before bedtime when she called me a bastard and told me to sleep on the couch. FML

#21244858
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42770) - you deserved it (7373)

On 08/25/2014 at 1:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I tasted a perfectly salted, crispy, and dead carpenter ant hidden in my bag of pistachios. FML

#21242612
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32585) - you deserved it (3001)

On 08/21/2014 at 5:48pm - misc - by ReluctantAntEater (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was hammered, and on my way home I walked into a policeman. My logic was: if I'm on the phone, he can't talk to me, so I pulled my phone out and started speaking. The officer then asked me why I was speaking to my wallet. FML

#21240900
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24242) - you deserved it (44592)

On 08/19/2014 at 9:37am - misc - by drunk under 18 teenager (man) - Morocco (Marrakech-Tensift-Al Haouz)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend paid a guy to tell me he was dead. FML

#21169011
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48461) - you deserved it (5699)

On 06/09/2014 at 11:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after beating myself up for being useless and not being able to do anything right, I managed to choke almost to the point of blacking out, on a piece of lettuce. FML

#21124429
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35819) - you deserved it (5527)

On 04/27/2014 at 3:16pm - misc - by failureatlife - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I fell off my boyfriend's motorcycle. I had a few scrapes and bruises, and my boyfriend called for an ambulance as a precaution. The paramedics managed to drop me on my head. FML

#20177257
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25026) - you deserved it (1753)

On 11/24/2012 at 9:35pm - health - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was enjoying a romantic cuddle on the couch with my boyfriend, when he suddenly decided to lift up my shirt, stick his face into my boobs, and go all Darth Vader on me. This included heavy breathing and phrases such as, "Amber... I am your boyfriend." FML

#20024327
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (6198)

On 08/16/2012 at 11:16am - love - by Amberain (woman) - United Kingdom (Halton)

Today, I shot a paintball gun at a bees' nest. The bees flew through my neighbors' windows and, for lack of a better word, slaughtered them. An ambulance was called, and I feel like a total dick. FML

#19554232
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8411) - you deserved it (54750)

On 04/30/2012 at 5:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She's a sock puppet. FML

#14802825
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18640) - you deserved it (64766)

On 02/01/2011 at 9:32pm - intimacy - by seepeezy32 -

Today, it was opening night for the play where I was, for the first time ever, one of the leads. I went on stage with a loud and energetic entrance. I came in two scenes early. FML

#14468099
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10725) - you deserved it (28542)

On 01/04/2011 at 10:15pm - misc - by theatreluver (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

#14333152
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41739) - you deserved it (8751)

On 12/25/2010 at 8:38am - intimacy - by Jessie - United States (Texas)

Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML

#2900113
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16287) - you deserved it (48381)

On 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by thelarkscaw (man) - United States (North Carolina)



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