Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

desireev

Offline (the 01/27/2015 at 7:19am) | Search for a member

desireev

18Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 December 1990 (24 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 7212
  • Number of comments : 1173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About desireev : Ok. So I really am a pretty nice gal. Probably one of the nicest people you'll meet on here. "Trolling" me would be like "trolling" an 80 year old lady. I am an elderly lady trapped in a young ladys' body! (If you would like to help me cross the street, that would just make me SOOO happy!)
;)

I am not one to say "once you get on my bad side, blah blah blah..." or "once I hate you, I'll always hate you..." or anything like that. I am always on my good side. I try to always treat people the way I would like to be treated. Always nice. Always positive. I do have a bad side... But it's rare. It's rare like Mr. Clean with hair! Haha

I am always ready for a debate. But I will NOT argue over the Internet. That is just ridiculous! So don't try it with me.. Because it will be a one-sided argument. :)

Thanks for reading!
See y'all out there! :)

desireev's page activity

Visits<b>OwlsMakeBowels</b> - the 07/26/2015 at 7:14pm<b>cuervobombz</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 12:24am<b>VeganDarkLight</b> - the 07/24/2015 at 10:15am<b>brittanygraham97</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 3:05pm<b>Miss_Mandi</b> - the 07/21/2015 at 7:43pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 5:34am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 07/11/2015 at 8:31pm<b>Helipilot86</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 9:59am<b>Soparot</b> - the 07/09/2015 at 1:31am<b>amine91</b> - the 07/03/2015 at 5:48pm<b>furstur</b> - the 07/02/2015 at 12:22am<b>MrCommunism</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 12:06am<b>immaloser95</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 11:57am<b>MzZombicidal</b> - the 06/23/2015 at 10:36am<b>pleasedie</b> - the 06/19/2015 at 11:52am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 11:55pm<b>sadistmonkey</b> - the 06/17/2015 at 6:17pm<b>ashleyrose465</b> - the 06/16/2015 at 11:32pm

Fucked!<b>cuervobombz</b> - the 07/25/2015 at 6:25am<b>brittanygraham97</b> - the 07/22/2015 at 9:06pm<b>lil_jimmy</b> - the 07/14/2015 at 11:34am<b>mongoosemike</b> - the 06/10/2015 at 5:46pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 05/30/2015 at 5:28pm<b>paigexox0</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 4:43am<b>Cautocracy</b> - the 05/07/2015 at 12:28pm<b>joliexoxo</b> - the 05/05/2015 at 5:27pm<b>brutal1</b> - the 04/30/2015 at 1:33am<b>D_Word_Head</b> - the 04/21/2015 at 2:07pm<b>heartofhannah</b> - the 04/05/2015 at 5:59am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 03/31/2015 at 4:43pm<b>cooper3991</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 11:13pm<b>Sethan01</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 8:06pm<b>snipebp</b> - the 03/01/2015 at 10:42am<b>ChoolyBooly</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 9:12pm<b>derp_taco</b> - the 02/23/2015 at 12:34am<b>1daniellarter</b> - the 01/16/2015 at 2:18am

desireev's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of desireev's badges

desireev's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML

#19252817
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7301) - you deserved it (63831)

On 03/10/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by Alison (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a nice restaurant for our anniversary. Mid-way through the meal, a guy at the table across left for the restroom. My girlfriend reached over and swiped the guy's wallet from the table. My gonads went AWOL, and I couldn't even bring myself to call her out on it. FML

#19222204
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8852) - you deserved it (25897)

On 03/05/2012 at 5:55pm - misc - by mark (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

#19214836
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21725) - you deserved it (27435)

On 03/04/2012 at 3:46pm - misc - by Hannah (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, things were getting heated with my boyfriend and I told him that I was finally ready to lose my virginity. Clearly he couldn't wait to get started because he fell asleep. FML

#19212153
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27826) - you deserved it (3903)

On 03/04/2012 at 2:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend openly mocked me, calling me an idiot for thinking seahorses are real. She insists that they're like unicorns, and only exist in fiction. FML

#19011478
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37280) - you deserved it (4302)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:52pm - animals - by BoringFucker (man) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

#19011410
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27794) - you deserved it (1955)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:43pm - health - by Marc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while I was standing in line at the store, some guy insulted the girl in front of me as he walked past. She turned around and socked me in the face. FML

#19011410
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27794) - you deserved it (1955)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:43pm - health - by Marc - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my professor what happened to the assignment I gave him several weeks ago. Turns out he lost it, and graded me zero as a result. Now if I want a mark, he says I'll have to hand-write it all over again, but that I "probably shouldn't bother," because it was "a bit shit, really." FML

#19011157
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23305) - you deserved it (1975)

On 02/06/2012 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I pulled into a parking lot and waited for a car to back out so I could take their spot. The apparently batshit insane psychopath in the other car managed to completely overlook me waving him out, and backed straight into my car. FML

#19002086
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18657) - you deserved it (4524)

On 02/05/2012 at 3:41pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, trying to pocket a little extra cash for himself, my dad responded to multiple babysitting ads on Craigslist, accepting them all on my behalf. I despise children with all my heart. FML

#18985606
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24731) - you deserved it (8070)

On 02/03/2012 at 5:49pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a date for Valentine's Day. The date is with my orthodontist; he's going to tighten my braces. FML

#18984766
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22702) - you deserved it (3237)

On 02/03/2012 at 3:47pm - misc - by tooembarassed - United States

Today, I was using a restroom when I heard someone sneeze. I said, "Bless you." It happened again about three times, so I repeated myself each time. I then noticed it was an automatic air freshener. FML

#18981474
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15957) - you deserved it (22864)

On 02/03/2012 at 12:25am - misc - by coleslaw (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML

#18904697
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35208) - you deserved it (7156)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by dragonmirado (woman) - China

Today, my husband bleached his hair so, "our future kids will have blond hair too." I'm already married to this guy. FML

#18904697
267 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35208) - you deserved it (7156)

On 01/25/2012 at 1:23am - misc - by dragonmirado (woman) - China

Today, an intoxicated homeless man tried to chase me out of a McDonald's because he thought I was President Obama. I'm a 26-year-old white woman. FML

#18892690
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32119) - you deserved it (2669)

On 01/23/2012 at 7:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



FML's blog

  • Feeling shitty? Write to Auntie Bernie!
  • It's a new summer, so here's a new feature. OK, that doesn't mean much, but you've got to start somewhere. The idea came from the fact that we get sent a lot of FMLs that touch us, in our heart of…

Friday 24 July 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: