Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

desireev

Search for a member

desireev

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 December 1990 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 6066
  • Number of comments : 1173
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 20 posted

About desireev : Ok. So I really am a pretty nice gal. Probably one of the nicest people you'll meet on here. "Trolling" me would be like "trolling" an 80 year old lady. I am an elderly lady trapped in a young ladys' body! (If you would like to help me cross the street, that would just make me SOOO happy!)
;)

I am not one to say "once you get on my bad side, blah blah blah..." or "once I hate you, I'll always hate you..." or anything like that. I am always on my good side. I try to always treat people the way I would like to be treated. Always nice. Always positive. I do have a bad side... But it's rare. It's rare like Mr. Clean with hair! Haha

I am always ready for a debate. But I will NOT argue over the Internet. That is just ridiculous! So don't try it with me.. Because it will be a one-sided argument. :)

Thanks for reading!
See y'all out there! :)

desireev's page activity

Visits<b>soveryunoriginal</b> - 5 hours ago<b>Desichu</b> - yesterday at 12:40am<b>T_Dogg42</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 5:22pm<b>dustydick</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:05pm<b>nightwings</b> - the 10/18/2014 at 5:03am<b>sdlr32787</b> - the 10/15/2014 at 5:10pm<b>a7xheart</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 3:07pm<b>Marebare23</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 11:45pm<b>blondeguuurl</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:56pm<b>peanutsboy</b> - the 10/06/2014 at 1:58am<b>hillbilly1221</b> - the 10/03/2014 at 4:49pm<b>guessimthedevil</b> - the 10/02/2014 at 3:40am<b>FellowElfBrony</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 6:27pm<b>CamBen</b> - the 09/29/2014 at 1:55am<b>Ryan8878</b> - the 09/28/2014 at 1:57am<b>NotAUser</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 12:58pm<b>SaucyGino</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 5:51am<b>Evil20071</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 1:28am

desireev's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

I agree, their lives suck

200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.

See all of desireev's badges

desireev's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to pay my manager $10 just to take my stalker's order so I didn't have to. FML

#20087724
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18780) - you deserved it (1970)

On 09/25/2012 at 3:08am - work - by snowbell18 (woman) - United States

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

#20087243
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15630) - you deserved it (29291)

On 09/24/2012 at 9:51pm - kids - by Fingkids - United States

Today, I was driving home on the highway with my wife and her parents. As I overtook another car, a rock got kicked up into our windshield. My wife screamed about the crack it created, while my mother-in-law goaded her on and mocked my "piss-poor driving." FML

#20085361
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16962) - you deserved it (1687)

On 09/23/2012 at 5:05pm - misc - by future MIL slasher (man) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26314) - you deserved it (5321)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying on one of my little black dresses and heels. He wanted to "see what the fuss was about." I would have been angry if the sight of him dressed like this hadn't turned me on more than he ever has in the 3 years we've been dating. FML

#20080101
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26314) - you deserved it (5321)

On 09/19/2012 at 11:09pm - intimacy - by ClaireBear150 (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was called into my 17-year-old son's high school. Why? Because it was Wednesday, also known as "Hump Day" and his friends managed to convince him that you're supposed to go around and hump people. FML

#20079735
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21694) - you deserved it (2531)

On 09/19/2012 at 7:33pm - kids - by Judy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a guy I've been seeing for a while sent me a link to a porn site, with the message, "Holy fuck, isn't this your mom?!" Thinking he was joking around, I clicked the link just to see what sick shit he wanted to show me. It was my mom. FML

#20079475
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59419) - you deserved it (3053)

On 09/19/2012 at 4:41pm - intimacy - by identitychangeplease - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I found out my friend swapped my girlfriend and probation officer's numbers in my phone. My girlfriend is wondering why I asked her permission to leave the country, and my probation officer said she can't wait to see me again. FML

#20054113
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23308) - you deserved it (3726)

On 09/02/2012 at 1:34pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Fruit Loop. FML

#19591355
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20826) - you deserved it (1970)

On 05/08/2012 at 7:55am - love - by Kyley - United States

Today, I rear ended a cop while talking on my cell phone. FML

#19541631
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6949) - you deserved it (80687)

On 04/28/2012 at 10:31am - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today, I have been left home alone, the electricity has cut out, and I am petrified of the dark. I am stuck downstairs making karate noises every few minutes to scare off creepers. FML

#19292918
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21050) - you deserved it (11890)

On 03/17/2012 at 8:45am - misc - by belieber101 - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, while at work, a man came up to me and screamed that I was the devil's child, pointing at the tattoo on my wrist the whole time. I just stood there while he prayed for my soul. FML

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

#19263580
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34852) - you deserved it (5452)

On 03/12/2012 at 9:11am - misc - by Tristansefam1367 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother screamed and swore at me because I said I was looking to move out soon. Apparently, the idea of me moving out at 27 and her getting a job to pay her own way is devastating. FML

#19253027
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26863) - you deserved it (2555)

On 03/10/2012 at 6:37pm - misc - by whyme - United States (Arizona)

Today, I found out I've miserably failed a college exam. My friend had agreed to pass me answers if I needed them, since I've hardly studied this year. We were on the phone when she said, "Oh, those answers were bullshit. Serves you right, huh?" FML

#19252817
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7233) - you deserved it (63405)

On 03/10/2012 at 5:48pm - misc - by Alison (woman) - United States (Virginia)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: