designatedfuck

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designatedfuck

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 20 April 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 853
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About designatedfuck : mother nature is a bitch.

designatedfuck's page activity

Visits<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/26/2014 at 5:04pm<b>coldashell</b> - the 12/16/2013 at 12:19pm<b>i_love_him_</b> - the 11/17/2013 at 9:59pm<b>poppyseed420</b> - the 11/12/2013 at 1:34pm<b>ervnomyous</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:29pm<b>jadeluv</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 6:27am<b>Faith13</b> - the 08/22/2013 at 1:51am<b>haylburg</b> - the 08/13/2013 at 11:31pm<b>TourettesGuyFTW</b> - the 07/31/2013 at 5:10am<b>daniel_0084</b> - the 07/29/2013 at 9:22am<b>pacelily</b> - the 07/25/2013 at 5:03pm<b>alltimelow785</b> - the 07/24/2013 at 3:43am<b>Reva750</b> - the 07/20/2013 at 5:36pm

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designatedfuck's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my mom if I was ugly. She said, "Ask your girlfriend." I said I don't have one. She said "Exactly." FML

by Miami6and3 / 08/26/2013 at 2:22pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was visiting my cousin's farm. Going out for a morning stroll, I took an apple with me to munch along the way. As I was eating it, I heard a distant thumping sound and was suddenly slammed into the ground. When I looked up, a horse was eating my apple. I got mugged by a horse. FML

by Anonymous / 08/14/2013 at 5:11am / United States (Florida) / Animals

Today, I did a photoshoot with my boyfriend and his buddy. We drove out to the countryside and set up on top of a hill. My boyfriend kept having me move further and further back. I eventually fell and rolled down the steep hill, while he and his buddy high-fived each other. FML

by -_- / 07/28/2013 at 6:58pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 20-year-old daughter staggered into my room at two in the morning, drunker than I ever thought a person could be, screaming for me to make pancakes for her. FML

by Ugh / 02/27/2013 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom / Kids

Today, I was making love to my boyfriend. He put me up against the wall and I yelled, "Harder!" without thinking. I heard the entire house go silent, my dad and his friends included. FML

by uhoh / 02/16/2013 at 12:27am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2013 at 1:40am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, the police arrived at my door, telling me my child had been caught vandalizing. A boy who looked about 15 hugged me and said, "Hey, mum". I'm only 26 years old and had never seen this boy in my life. FML

by Female / 01/22/2013 at 6:16pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend and I got intimate with each other for the first time. He shoved his hand down my pants, touched about an inch away from my clitoris, and whispered "cummm" in my ear. I doubt I'll have an orgasm ever again. FML

by Anonymous / 11/03/2012 at 2:02pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, my co-worker told me I should stop smoking cigarettes because it makes my breath "smell like shit" and makes my teeth look as yellow as corn. I've never smoked a cigarette in my life. FML

by pridekills / 08/19/2012 at 12:19am / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, my mom walked in on me masturbating. She didnt look away and we stared at each other for a while; then she asked me what I wanted from McDonalds. FML

by ShadowJack / 04/29/2012 at 11:10am / United States / Intimacy

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

by Hakimstah / 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm / Lebanon / Intimacy

Today, after a year of coaxing, I got my boyfriend of 18 months to agree to have sex with me. He decided his first course of action was to try to shove his flaccid penis into my unlubricated vagina. FML

by ReallyBro / 03/21/2012 at 3:27am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found a bug under my foreskin. FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 12:50am / Canada / Health

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I love him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

by KrissyBearr / 12/30/2011 at 8:36pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy

Today, it was raining heavily. I saw a large puddle by the edge of the road near with a passing lady. Thinking it would be funny to splash her, I swerved to hit the puddle. The puddle was deeper than I thought. I lost control of the car, spun out, and hit two parked cars. FML

by Anonymous / 05/21/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Transportation