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desertpunk75

Offline (the 06/27/2015 at 11:14pm) | Search for a member

desertpunk75

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (25 years)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 373
  • Number of comments : 167
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

About desertpunk75 : like games, great sense of humor, always got whatever I wanted from a computer.

desertpunk75's page activity

Visits<b>yehyeh</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:35am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 9:25pm

desertpunk75's FML badges

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desertpunk75's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29445) - you deserved it (8575)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35111) - you deserved it (6952)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

#21399271
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25917) - you deserved it (22667)

On 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28494) - you deserved it (5797)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

#21384188
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27587) - you deserved it (2349)

On 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by noantiquesforme - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25831) - you deserved it (16326)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

#21382327
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28557) - you deserved it (3034)

On 03/27/2015 at 9:29am - kids - by njh - Ireland

Today, I asked my teacher how old he was, and jokingly I said, "50?" Then he chuckled, so I laughed and said, "I was kidding… 42, 43, 44?" He then looked at me and said, "Are you trying to guess my age, or your grade percent in this class?" FML

#21315734
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21302) - you deserved it (27129)

On 12/11/2014 at 6:13pm - work - by IHateSchool-.- - United States

Today, I went into an exam room to do a check-up on one of my patients. I told the little girl's mother that she needed her flu shots. When the girl heard this, she took an apple out of her pocket and threw it at me. FML

#21267077
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33387) - you deserved it (3941)

On 09/28/2014 at 3:26pm - health - by jazzie7719 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44484) - you deserved it (7533)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was watching the movie Frozen with my 8 year old daughter. I had seen it before, so I sung along with some of the songs. My daughter put a finger over my lips, said "Shhhhhhhhut the fuck up," then turned back to the TV, giggling. FML

#21245090
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38528) - you deserved it (14884)

On 08/25/2014 at 2:05pm - kids - by JackieD (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a picture of my boobs. I quickly found out that I'd accidentally sent it to my sister instead. She sent me one back. FML

#21196202
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48282) - you deserved it (27434)

On 07/02/2014 at 1:01pm - intimacy - by boob sisters (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

#21192500
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42907) - you deserved it (8607)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my sister ran into my room unannounced while I was on webcam with a potential employer. Before I could react, she looked at my screen, said "Damn, he's fucking hot." and flashed him. FML

#21191852
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52271) - you deserved it (4746)

On 06/28/2014 at 8:26pm - work - by justno - Canada (Ontario)



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