desertpunk75

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desertpunk75

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Monday 1 January 1990 (26 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 582
  • Number of comments : 168
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 41 posted

About desertpunk75 : like games, great sense of humor, always got whatever I wanted from a computer.

desertpunk75's page activity

Visits<b>yehyeh</b> - the 07/02/2014 at 12:35am<b>Fidge86</b> - the 02/10/2014 at 9:25pm

desertpunk75's FML badges

The Mixer

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desertpunk75's favorite FMLs

Today, I took my boyfriend of 2 years on a family vacation to meet my family for the first time. We all got really drunk and he made out with my dad. This was day one and we don't fly back for another 16 days. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2016 at 1:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Holidays

Today, at my college, someone snatched my laptop out of my hands, so I chased him. Turns out I'm so overweight and slow that he moonwalked away facing me, while I sprinted my heart out. FML

by Jif_Creamy / 02/28/2016 at 12:00am / United States (District of Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learnt what my boss meant when he said he would 'get his revenge on me' for winning a bet. I have to clean all the rooms that currently have a couple staying in it on February 15th. I don't want to work in a hotel anymore. FML

by Hello condoms and lube / 02/09/2016 at 4:53pm / United Kingdom (East Sussex) / Work

Today, I told my step-mom that my medication is causing me to lose weight. She looked me up and down and suggested I triple my dosage. FML

by cuntingbitchofawhore / 02/05/2016 at 10:11pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

by Anonymous / 02/05/2016 at 7:37am / Australia (Queensland) / Transportation

Today, as a natural science teacher, I was drawing a uterus on the class chalkboard. One of my students started messing around and being noisy, so I shouted, "Be quiet and check out my uterus!" FML

by sciencenat / 01/14/2016 at 1:36am / Work

Today, my fiancée thought that lowering the volume on her phone would lower the amount of data being used by her streaming songs. FML

by dBLIZZARD / 11/04/2015 at 10:32pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched a young shop assistant try her hardest to flirt with my 20-year-old son. When he continued to be totally oblivious, she outright invited him back to her flat. When he asked, "What for?" a piece of my soul died at how completely I have failed as a father. FML

by anonymous / 07/16/2015 at 6:21pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Kids

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm / United States (Kentucky) / Kids

Today, my little sister filled the huge house I spent over a week building in Minecraft with TNT. She then demanded I give her all the money in my wallet, or she'd blow it all up. She's now $86.25 richer, and my parents think it's too hilarious to make her give me my money back. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 11:23pm / United States / Money

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

by Anonymous / 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, an old man walked up to me, said, "Hey missy, you wanna see an antique?" and winked. FML

by noantiquesforme / 03/30/2015 at 2:39pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

by BERNDTOAST / 03/27/2015 at 11:27am / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, my 3-year-old son said to me, "Fuck a duck, Daddy." I have no idea where he heard this. FML

by njh / 03/27/2015 at 9:29am / Ireland / Kids

Today, I'm an intern working in a company's reception area, which happens to have a coffee dispenser. As I'm the new girl, every client getting coffee wants to buy me one. I'm too polite to say no. It's 10:26 AM, and I'm on cup #17. FML

by chloe_zjk / 02/18/2015 at 12:22am / France / Work