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derpies

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derpies

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  • Number of visits : 746
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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derpies's page activity

Visits<b>Squtchy</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:47am<b>Faith13</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 6:29am<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 12:10am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 7:47pm<b>Kiki242</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 5:54am<b>Silent_Thrill</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 11:09pm<b>ShrinkToMySize</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 5:37am<b>Suptnik</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:54pm

derpies's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of derpies's badges

derpies's favorite FMLs

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
403 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30104) - you deserved it (5650)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, I found out apparently, I have a weird looking vagina. How? My boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He took one look at my vagina and with a look of horror said, "I have never seen one this GROSS." He's a gynecologist and probably sees 20 vaginas a day. FML

#17536285
470 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57568) - you deserved it (7121)

On 08/21/2011 at 5:59am - intimacy - by Username - United States (Ohio)

Today, my eight year old son came to me and said he thinks it's time he started wearing bras. It turns out his older brother has been mind-fucking him for the past several months and has him convinced it's something all boys his age do. I can't convince him otherwise. FML

#17390197
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34561) - you deserved it (3443)

On 08/06/2011 at 7:37pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend's mother walked in on us having sex. He started crying and ran into the bathroom where my clothes were located, leaving me to deal with his mother. Naked. FML

#17313020
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39632) - you deserved it (7513)

On 07/30/2011 at 8:45pm - intimacy - by cutiekenz21 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was dared to eat durian. With my reputation hanging in the balance, I bought one. Only after I opened it did I realize the extent of the dare. It smelled and tasted like dried cat shit that Satan himself had regurgitated. FML

#17243352
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10401) - you deserved it (32010)

On 07/24/2011 at 5:01pm - misc - by cadillacfrank - United States

Today, I was so hungover, I started yelling at inanimate objects. My mom walked in on me calling my cereal a "worthless piece of shit sent from the bowels of Hell." FML

#16950938
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10204) - you deserved it (43063)

On 07/02/2011 at 4:54pm - misc - by Cowgirl_Up37 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my Dad married his fiancée, who insists I call her "mom". I'm three years older than her, and went to the same high school. She's taking me shopping next week to buy me something "nice". FML

#16293589
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72321) - you deserved it (3724)

On 05/22/2011 at 5:31am - misc - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

#16258570
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32807) - you deserved it (20215)

On 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm - misc - by Devon (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I got circumcised by my zipper. FML

#16205540
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61811) - you deserved it (9666)

On 05/16/2011 at 12:33pm - health - by Bobby M - Ireland (Carlow)

Today, I confided to my dad that since the recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 months, I feel down all the time and life doesn't feel worth living anymore. His loving advice was for me to "grow the fuck up and get your sentimental head out of la-la land." FML

#16092460
524 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19585) - you deserved it (66187)

On 05/08/2011 at 3:21pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I paid €100 to have a tube shoved down my genitals. FML

#15154562
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28593) - you deserved it (7071)

On 02/28/2011 at 8:07pm - intimacy - by regretter -

Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML

#14794923
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35923) - you deserved it (4774)

On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I broke my nose by sneezing too close to a table. FML

#14614721
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24978) - you deserved it (6881) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2011 at 3:13pm - health - by SkinsCastSelection - France - Chosen by the cast of Skins

Today, I discovered that my girlfriend of two years has been cheating on me for over five months, including while I was deployed to Afghanistan. FML

Today, I was ambushed by a very angry beaver. FML

#13728170
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26281) - you deserved it (4842)

On 11/05/2010 at 5:09pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



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