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derpies

Offline (the 09/22/2014 at 6:33pm) | Search for a member

derpies

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 804
  • Number of comments : 20
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

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derpies's page activity

Visits<b>Squtchy</b> - the 07/06/2014 at 2:47am<b>Faith13</b> - the 10/26/2013 at 6:29am<b>haylburg</b> - the 09/07/2013 at 12:10am<b>dead_insects</b> - the 06/11/2013 at 7:47pm<b>Kiki242</b> - the 03/19/2013 at 5:54am<b>Silent_Thrill</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 11:09pm<b>ShrinkToMySize</b> - the 12/27/2012 at 5:37am<b>Suptnik</b> - the 12/23/2012 at 10:54pm

derpies's FML badges

Hard at Work

Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.

YDI master

That was your 500th “you totally deserved it” vote. We admire your dedication.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

See all of derpies's badges

derpies's favorite FMLs

Today, my dog started limping as we were walking home. I thought she'd hurt herself, so I picked her up and carried her home. Once we arrived, I put her down, at which point she ran around and played as if nothing had happened. I fell for my lazy dog's plan to get me to carry her home. FML

#18697253
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27707) - you deserved it (7632)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:44pm - animals - by vanessa560 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

#18693659
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33903) - you deserved it (5272)

On 01/03/2012 at 2:17am - intimacy - by Cpt Colin (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my mum read a forwarded email, and is now convinced that eating processed food will make my ovaries shrink and disappear. Now she goes batshit crazy if she sees me eating potato chips. FML

#18684418
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22431) - you deserved it (2322)

On 01/02/2012 at 7:18am - health - by sohungry (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, I found out that, after offering to fill out my student aid application for me, my mother sent all of my personal information to a scam site instead. FML

#18682352
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26420) - you deserved it (3866)

On 01/02/2012 at 1:45am - money - by ... - United States

Today, I told my parents that I wanted to donate blood. My dad helpfully interjected, "Sorry, they don't accept blood from gingers." FML

#18678605
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29455) - you deserved it (7704)

On 01/01/2012 at 8:22pm - health - by GingerJ (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, while watching Rio, I got a boner when Blu and Jewel kissed. This is almost as pathetic as getting a boner a few days ago while watching Homer and Marge kiss on The Simpsons. I think I'm way past the point of ever getting laid. FML

#18674853
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31587) - you deserved it (9621)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:09pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML

#18674490
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10602) - you deserved it (28947)

On 01/01/2012 at 12:19pm - misc - by msnewyearseve - United States (New York)

Today, the last few seconds of my 2011 was spent staring at my drunk, naked uncle pouring olive oil over himself and rubbing it in. FML

#18670300
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27525) - you deserved it (3047)

On 01/01/2012 at 1:18am - misc - by Scarred4Life - United States (Maryland)

Today, I came home from a weekend trip with some friends, and walked straight in on my girlfriend cheating on me. She burst into tears and began apologizing. Her exact words were "I'm so sorry! I thought you were coming back tomorrow." FML

#18326234
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43104) - you deserved it (2618)

On 11/23/2011 at 12:03pm - love - by cheated - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my daughter in law sent me another romantic text that was meant for her husband. Not only can't she spell for shit, the clichés she uses are horrifyingly embarrassing. The fact this keeps happening makes me want to slam her head in the oven. FML

#18229715
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27279) - you deserved it (4100)

On 11/12/2011 at 4:42pm - misc - by Username - United States

Today, a neo-Nazi stopped me and commented on my blue eyes and blonde hair. He went on to explain that I could be "pure", and should follow him and other Aryans in the campaign to eliminate Jews, and other "abominations". Good thing he didn't see the Star of David necklace around my neck. FML

#18067303
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43689) - you deserved it (3330)

On 10/24/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by KaySchrages92 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, for the first time, I beat my brother in a game of CoD. Not being a gamer, I was ecstatic. Later, when I was in the shower, my brother snuck in the bathroom, yelled "Napalm strike!" and threw our cat over the shower curtain like a furry grenade from hell. FML

#17981940
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44865) - you deserved it (5036)

On 10/14/2011 at 12:11pm - kids - by MLGreco - United States

Today, I caught my pregnant wife trying to suck milk from her breasts. FML

#17749622
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31609) - you deserved it (5682)

On 09/15/2011 at 3:34am - health - by Scott - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my new college roommate holding his cock. He said "Hi I'm Jeffrey, and this is Jeffrey junior" while directing attention towards his penis. It's going to be a long semester. FML

#17574583
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34863) - you deserved it (2581)

On 08/25/2011 at 1:26am - intimacy - by InAnAwkwardSituation - United States (New York)

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37284) - you deserved it (3279)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)



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