Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

derp_taco

Offline (11 hours ago) | Search for a member

derp_taco

7Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 December 1999 (15 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 700
  • Number of comments : 19
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About derp_taco : I like tacos,I also play American Football #97 debate me if you want. Cheers
Derp Taco over and out

END TRANSMISSION

derp_taco's page activity

Visits<b>Memen88</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:56pm<b>sofaqueen_</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 10:47pm<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 5:16pm<b>nyez28</b> - the 12/15/2014 at 5:25pm<b>cutiegurl2</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 8:20pm<b>MitunaCaptor</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 10:13am<b>Abbey1598</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 8:06pm<b>Omgrukidding</b> - the 12/10/2014 at 11:32am<b>jshakd642</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 1:17am<b>feven</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 11:34pm<b>Azpy</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 1:36pm<b>hkgirl89</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 5:11pm<b>f_ck_U</b> - the 12/04/2014 at 9:34am<b>connorgrant98</b> - the 12/02/2014 at 1:13am<b>watermelon1</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 4:33pm<b>carleybeak</b> - the 11/27/2014 at 11:04am<b>kantalita_claire</b> - the 11/26/2014 at 6:21pm<b>kkkkkkkkkka</b> - the 11/25/2014 at 5:39pm

Liked!<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 11:16pm<b>KRAZYKILLAKLOWN</b> - the 11/23/2014 at 11:44pm<b>camogirl2249</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 12:26am<b>taylor21398</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 5:42pm<b>nopethanks</b> - the 10/31/2014 at 9:22pm<b>Katthebamf</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:20am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:17am

derp_taco's FML badges

The Thumb returns

You have thumbed 5000 comments.

Socialite

You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…

The Thumb strikes back

You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.

See all of derp_taco's badges

derp_taco's favorite FMLs

Today, my mother-in-law asked for a copy of my son's death certificate so she could have her week-long island beach holiday classed as bereavement leave. FML

#21319326
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30285) - you deserved it (1631)

On 12/17/2014 at 7:48pm - misc - by drbckflps (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 6-year-old son asked me what a "sex toy" was. Not really knowing what to tell him, I said it was a game. He's asked for one for Christmas. FML

#21318917
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22455) - you deserved it (7474) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/17/2014 at 12:29am - intimacy - by marie0908 - France (Aquitaine)

Today, I got a new downstairs neighbor. Herpes. FML

#21318606
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19490) - you deserved it (25728)

On 12/16/2014 at 4:04pm - health - by fuck - Norway (Buskerud)

Today, I asked my spouse to help me apply some hemorrhoid relief cream, since I couldn't see what was going on down there clearly. Next time, I hope I'll remember if I'm still in a conference call with my online classmates so they don't witness the whole thing again. FML

Today, I was having a nice conversation with my fiancé when he said out of nowhere, "I sold some of your panties". I thought he was joking so I said I hoped they weren't any of my favorites. He wasn't joking, though, and now some stranger from Craigslist owns my panties. FML

#21317090
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27420) - you deserved it (2471)

On 12/14/2014 at 12:15am - misc - by konacoffee17 - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was trying to turn my boyfriend on with dirty texts. When he said "I'm horny," I teasingly replied, "Whoops, did I do that?" His reply? "Huh? Naw i'm watching sum porn". FML

#21316711
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25660) - you deserved it (4799)

On 12/13/2014 at 11:03am - intimacy - by giantcuntflaps (woman) - Australia

Today, I finally told my boyfriend that he's not very good at dirty talk. He does it every time we have sex and it always turns me off. He started crying. FML

#21316697
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29378) - you deserved it (4812)

On 12/13/2014 at 10:20am - intimacy - by Nicole (woman) - United States

Today, I came home to find out my roommate sold my PS4, because, "You don't use it anymore." FML

#21316533
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30995) - you deserved it (2286)

On 12/13/2014 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, at my daughter's ballet recital, after she was done dancing, grown adults booed. She's five. FML

#21315826
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38159) - you deserved it (2175)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:43pm - kids - by anon - United States (New York)

Today, my son got in trouble at school. The kids had to solve a problem by determining whether it was better for "Edna" to repair or replace her AC unit. He said Edna is an "old person's name" and she was "probably going to die soon anyway", so she shouldn't do either. FML

#21315591
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26175) - you deserved it (3170)

On 12/11/2014 at 1:10pm - kids - by MedStudent90 - United States (Minnesota)

Today, it's the last night before a concert. Today is also the day my brother pawned my clarinet for drug money. FML

#21315391
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30294) - you deserved it (2006)

On 12/11/2014 at 12:44am - money - by noshow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my pet bunny died. My little sister is distraught and practically suicidal, because apparently she playfully pointed a wand at it a few days ago and said "avada kedavra". She's absolutely convinced that she killed it. FML

#21315060
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32108) - you deserved it (2476)

On 12/10/2014 at 2:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while fasting for a medical test, my blood sugar became so low that I had heart palpitations and passed out. My doctor's advice? Fast, so he can run more tests. FML

#21314271
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28413) - you deserved it (2385)

On 12/09/2014 at 4:39am - health - by fucking moron (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my dad why we didn't have any baby pictures. His response was, "They got lost in the flood of '93." I was born in '95. FML

#21314190
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29581) - you deserved it (2200)

On 12/09/2014 at 12:45am - misc - by mn167109 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my boyfriend made me a milkshake. It was pale yellow with some black spots. He told me it was banana and poppy seed. After drinking it, he told me they weren't poppy seeds. They were his pubes. FML

#21313388
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35466) - you deserved it (4092)

On 12/07/2014 at 9:12pm - misc - by pubemilkshake - United States (Utah)



FML's blog

  • Malec's illustrated FML
  • Life is like a box of chocolate full of piece of rabbit droppings sometimes, isn't it? OK, I'll admit that's a weird way to start an article a few days before Christmas. Let me explain: you try and get…

Friday 12 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: