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derp_taco

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derp_taco

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 December 1999 (14 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 217
  • Number of comments : 9
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About derp_taco : I like tacos

derp_taco's page activity

Visits<b>zahra_786</b> - 9 hours ago<b>illusong</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 9:37pm<b>Emi1y</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 9:33pm<b>devildog562</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 4:58pm<b>lisaint</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 4:58pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 7:08am<b>Katthebamf</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 8:20pm<b>Vanillanougat</b> - the 10/26/2014 at 2:57pm<b>AngelOf_Darkness</b> - the 10/25/2014 at 10:40pm<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/24/2014 at 8:58am<b>BBlah</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 9:07pm<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 10/23/2014 at 8:53pm<b>Aquamarine9</b> - the 10/16/2014 at 6:33pm<b>nicollettemcq</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:58pm<b>cherrio27</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 10:23pm<b>JayDay_123</b> - the 10/13/2014 at 9:43am<b>Roskosity</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 10:46pm<b>Koth</b> - the 10/12/2014 at 8:36pm

Liked!<b>Katthebamf</b> - the 10/27/2014 at 1:20am<b>sarah5745</b> - the 10/11/2014 at 7:17am

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derp_taco's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my first job interview. The manager asks me to sell him his pen. Thinking I'm all smart, I reenact the scene from the Wolf of Wall Street and say, 'Write down your name'. He calmly reaches into his drawer, takes out another pen and writes his name down. He then looks at me and laughs. FML

#21287428
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23309) - you deserved it (5914)

On 10/29/2014 at 12:55am - work - by shadysheikh - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mom talked to me and my brother about how great it was that our cousin was getting away from drugs and becoming sober, as he would have so many more opportunities opened up for him now. She explained all this while sitting on our patio, smoking a blunt. FML

#21287196
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23902) - you deserved it (2426)

On 10/28/2014 at 7:54pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I've been one year sober. My health has improved a lot, unlike my social life, which has died a horrible, lonely death. FML

#21286990
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24596) - you deserved it (3257)

On 10/28/2014 at 2:04pm - health - by not drunk (woman) - Brazil (Rio Grande do Sul)

Today, I spent an hour painstakingly disassembling my antique mirror after discovering a stack of papers behind the back board. I finally got hold of one corner, and pulled out - a newspaper from 2007 and instructions for an IKEA bed. FML

#21286426
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22936) - you deserved it (3762)

On 10/27/2014 at 5:18pm - misc - by TukTuk (woman) - Germany (Sachsen)

Today, I stumbled across one of my son's English assignments. Apparently, he decided to submit a haiku about how electrical outlets are technically "whores" because they hook up with countless cords for a "charge." I don't know whether to be amused or furious. FML

#21285975
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29309) - you deserved it (4211)

On 10/26/2014 at 10:42pm - kids - by MySonThePoet (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my son asked for my help with a personal matter. I was flattered that he trusted me, since he's a paranoid, untrusting psycho. Turned out he wanted to use my locksmith skills to break into his ex's house and "teach her a lesson" for breaking up with him after he cheated on her. FML

#21285546
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30625) - you deserved it (4234)

On 10/26/2014 at 9:54am - kids - by Bob H. (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I'm so out of shape, I started wheezing on my way to check my mailbox. Not my physical mailbox, either; my email inbox on the phone I'd left on the table at the bottom of the stairs. FML

#21285495
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20807) - you deserved it (19383)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:35am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at work and a lady screamed at my manager for about 15 minutes, saying I needed to be fired because I couldn't get rid of all the flies buzzing around her food. She was the one who chose to eat on our patio. FML

#21285397
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28831) - you deserved it (1975)

On 10/26/2014 at 1:17am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while reading 1984 on the train, a cute guy around my age and I got into a great a discussion about the book. Just when I thought he might ask for my number, he got up, patted me on the head and said it's so nice that kids my age still took interest in real literature. I'm 25. FML

#21284324
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34097) - you deserved it (2684)

On 10/24/2014 at 9:47am - misc - by anonymous - Austria (Wien)

Today, I got approached by a lady while eating at a fast-food restaurant who asked if I could spare five dollars. Confidently, I pulled out my wallet to show her that I had no cash, only to reveal a perfectly crisp five dollar bill that I had completely forgotten about. FML

#21284180
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27594) - you deserved it (14420)

On 10/24/2014 at 1:02am - money - by Yeah (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend and I, after years of sexual tension, began to have sex for the first time. Things got heated and he decided to abruptly stand up with me around him. I got so nervous, spazzed out, and now have 37 staples in my head courtesy of his bookshelf. FML

#21284031
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29989) - you deserved it (5170)

On 10/23/2014 at 9:25pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

#21283051
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32414) - you deserved it (3910)

On 10/22/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I tried to download some network-monitoring software for the office as I suspect that one of my staff has been constantly downloading torrents. It wouldn't download because someone was using all the bandwidth. FML

#21282944
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28026) - you deserved it (2717)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:09am - work - by Thewatcher (man) - Mauritius

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML



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