[fr]
[it]
[es2]
[tr]
[de]
[ru]
[se]

Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick :
Categories :
Man or woman?
Email notification?

derekjeter92

Search for a member

derekjeter92
  • Town/Country : Michigan, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 8 April 1992 (19 years)
  • Number of visits : 2210
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About derekjeter92 : My name is Brannden.

derekjeter92's last visitors

ijessyLittleMiss1maggy

derekjeter92's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

derekjeter92's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

#3456534 (193)

I agree, your life sucks (55193) - you deserved it (3433)

On 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm - animals - by RachelDC (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

#2799622 (1232)

I agree, your life sucks (31575) - you deserved it (473706)

On 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm - misc - by I_Am_The_Edge (man) - United States (California)

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

#2772494 (859)

I agree, your life sucks (85937) - you deserved it (50898)

On 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by badmom (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

#2688793 (488)

I agree, your life sucks (24328) - you deserved it (224054)

On 06/07/2009 at 11:53am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

#2682803 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (9354) - you deserved it (53352)

On 06/07/2009 at 2:47am - intimacy - by Jon (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

#1353969 (313)

I agree, your life sucks (59307) - you deserved it (37748)

On 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm - misc - by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln - United States (Ohio)

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

#1154114 (243)

I agree, your life sucks (56571) - you deserved it (15383)

On 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

#836792 (843)

I agree, your life sucks (228676) - you deserved it (19499)

On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

#891 (86)

I agree, your life sucks (12986) - you deserved it (4334)

On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version