derekjeter92

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derekjeter92

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 9 April 1992 (24 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2622
  • Number of comments : 31
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 4 posted

About derekjeter92 : My name is Brannden.

derekjeter92's page activity

Visits<b>Br0k3nch4r4ct3r</b> - the 04/09/2016 at 12:29am<b>cmath</b> - the 05/17/2014 at 2:33am<b></b> - the 01/11/2011 at 12:57am<b>Cutie456</b> - the 06/23/2009 at 8:53am<b>hellomynameisril</b> - the 06/18/2009 at 9:35am<b>ijessy</b> - the 06/18/2009 at 5:17am<b>LittleMiss1</b> - the 06/13/2009 at 10:00pm<b>maggy</b> - the 06/12/2009 at 10:27pm<b>speeddating</b> - the 06/12/2009 at 9:15am<b>donnieandalicia</b> - the 06/08/2009 at 1:26am<b>LaLaJoy</b> - the 06/07/2009 at 6:27pm<b>ipwns</b> - the 05/08/2009 at 8:12am

derekjeter92's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

derekjeter92's favorite FMLs

Today, I noticed a string was following behind our family cat. After close inspection I realized it was a plastic kite string he partially digested. I had to pull the other three feet of plastic kite tail from his rectum. He purred the entire time. FML

by RachelDC / 07/03/2009 at 3:06pm / United States (West Virginia) / Animals

Today, I was at the park when I saw a homeless man sleeping on a bench. I thought it would be funny to throw a small rock at him. He thought it would be funny to pull out his knife and chase me for six blocks. FML

by I_Am_The_Edge / 06/11/2009 at 12:06pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I heard my daughter scream at my son through the bathroom door, "Are you jacking off in there or something?" and him scream back at her "Shut up you fucking cunt!" My daughter is 7 and my son is 8. FML

by badmom / 06/10/2009 at 2:09pm / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, I was playing around with my sister's kitten. As a joke, I put him underneath the sheets and farted. He attacked my nuts. FML

by Anonymous / 06/07/2009 at 11:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, after masturbating in the shower, I heard my phone go off outside the bathroom. After my mom saw me get my phone to check my messages she said "I think you're addicted to that", to which I said "but it feels so good and every guy does it." She was talking about how I text people a lot. FML

by Jon / 06/07/2009 at 2:47am / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was snuggling with my neighbors four week old kitten while babysitting their kids. I fell asleep, rolled over, and woke up next to a dead kitten. FML

by Fykkhttdsetkkhvln / 04/26/2009 at 12:45pm / United States (Ohio) / Animals

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I told my mom that I was taking antidepressants because I hate myself. She said "That's not surprising. You hate everybody. And, you're kind of a bitch." FML

by Anonymous / 04/20/2009 at 2:22pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

by Liz / 01/09/2009 at 3:54am / Kids