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dereckdereck

Offline (the 06/23/2014 at 6:01am) | Search for a member

dereckdereck

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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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dereckdereck's favorite FMLs

Today, my boss delivered some flowers and a sympathy card signed by everyone in the office to my cubicle. The card said, "Sorry your mom died". My mom isn't dead. I don't know where they got the idea from and no one believes me. They said that denial is part of grieving. FML

#21204205
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42723) - you deserved it (3048)

On 07/09/2014 at 5:37pm - work - by ninnang - United States (Hawaii)

Today, my coworker called in to say that he couldn't make it to work today because he was in a coma and asked if I could cover his shift. This isn't the first time he's tried to use this excuse. FML

#21203542
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41741) - you deserved it (3364)

On 07/09/2014 at 12:24am - work - by HowAreYouAlive - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56052) - you deserved it (2982)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I got a call from a friend asking why I didn't tell him I was engaged. I'm not, but I wish I was. Rumours about my life seem to be better than the reality. FML

#21188956
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41326) - you deserved it (4084)

On 06/26/2014 at 7:35am - love - by WhenRumoursAreBetterThanReality (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wants to marry me and be the father of my children. Five minutes later, he told me he wants to experience death. FML

#21188654
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41767) - you deserved it (4610)

On 06/26/2014 at 12:03am - love - by Anon (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I found out that the loving nickname my Chinese mother has been calling me my entire life essentially translates to "little retard". FML

#21185495
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49135) - you deserved it (5475)

On 06/23/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy at work pulled me aside to tell me that I probably shouldn't be working a job where I have to interact with customers, because of my autism. I don't have autism. FML

#21185267
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45496) - you deserved it (4174)

On 06/23/2014 at 12:19pm - work - by Badatlife (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer called the restaurant I work at to ask if our coupons were always valid, or if they expired on the expiration date printed on them. FML

#21179816
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40062) - you deserved it (4519)

On 06/18/2014 at 8:58pm - work - by Shannon - United States (Michigan)

Today, my 8-year-old son microwaved his pet hamster. FML

#21173596
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52849) - you deserved it (8941)

On 06/13/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by sunil (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, some pig slapped my ass as he passed me in the street, then looked back at me with a dirty grin. His grin turned to horror when he realized that I'm actually a guy, then to anger as he bitched me out for "tricking" him by "looking like a chick". FML

#21167190
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56146) - you deserved it (6778)

On 06/08/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by 404: sense not found (man) - United States (California)

Today, my university considered it an "embarrassment" that I was going to be the first and only person to graduate from my engineering course, so they gave free passes to two guys who hadn't finished their thesis yet. They were congratulated in the newspaper; I wasn't. FML

Today, I walked in on my 15 year old daughter and her boyfriend. They were standing in my bathroom, both naked from the waist down. Supposedly, he was trying to "teach her how to pee standing up." FML

#21159254
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57612) - you deserved it (8247)

On 06/01/2014 at 11:51am - intimacy - by help me - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at the café I work at, I was yelled at by a woman because the drinks and food she ordered were "taking too long". Before I had the chance to get a word in, she stormed out and said she would never come back. I didn't get the chance to inform her that she hadn't ordered yet. FML

#21106207
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42907) - you deserved it (3163)

On 04/06/2014 at 8:20pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when his condom came off inside of me. We couldn't get it out, so I had to tell my mom, who didn't know we were sexually active, and then go to the ER. After an unsuccessful visit, we came home only to find the condom in my sheets. FML

#20889434
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49954) - you deserved it (33736)

On 09/20/2013 at 9:18pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)



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