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denvan

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denvan
  • Town/Country : LA, US
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1418
  • Number of comments : 389
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About denvan : laid back

denvan's last visitors

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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

denvan's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

#17638273
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31998) - you deserved it (4152)

On 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm - misc - by mannydanny (woman) - United Kingdom (Coventry)

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

#15645354
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28246) - you deserved it (5745)

On 04/05/2011 at 12:04am - kids - by Bailey (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML

#15566439
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27642) - you deserved it (4390)

On 03/30/2011 at 9:10pm - love - by meohmy - United States (Texas)

Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML

#15441546
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9261) - you deserved it (31529)

On 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm - work - by PFCdavila (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

#13331304
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13400) - you deserved it (29229)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm - animals - by jabba (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

#13287262
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25873) - you deserved it (2895)

On 10/02/2010 at 9:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

#13278835
319 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16548) - you deserved it (40051)

On 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm - intimacy - by caughtorangehanded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15716) - you deserved it (36851)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

#13198134
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (2940)

On 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm - misc - by huj - United States (Texas)



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