denvan

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denvan

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1811
  • Number of comments : 389
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About denvan : laid back

denvan's page activity

Visits<b>bolee997</b> - the 04/28/2016 at 7:49pm<b>PinkaLotaPoka</b> - the 04/02/2016 at 1:20pm<b>Raelthelamb</b> - the 03/11/2016 at 11:02pm<b>Tymaster5</b> - the 03/10/2016 at 2:12pm<b>kylo_117</b> - the 02/01/2016 at 9:13pm<b>Vintage_Cola</b> - the 01/25/2016 at 11:06am<b>Red_Curls1995</b> - the 01/03/2016 at 12:23am<b>SoloAutotunE</b> - the 01/02/2016 at 2:32am<b>Zatert</b> - the 12/28/2015 at 11:55pm<b>StevenTheSnake</b> - the 12/25/2015 at 5:03pm<b>AChaoticFray</b> - the 12/12/2015 at 6:36pm<b>Torvaltz</b> - the 12/09/2015 at 2:57am<b>ratman775</b> - the 10/11/2015 at 1:42am<b>Myo</b> - the 09/16/2015 at 11:33am<b>Iceman1130</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 9:03pm<b>Princess_Eevee9</b> - the 08/13/2015 at 11:53am<b>jacob35</b> - the 08/07/2015 at 9:22pm<b>tsommer</b> - the 08/03/2015 at 4:40pm

denvan's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

denvan's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my Dad if it was true that my mother had a C-section at my birth. He replied "Yeah, so technically you weren't even born, you were surgically removed, like a tumor." FML

by mannydanny / 09/01/2011 at 7:40pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, my four year old daughter came up to me with her finger in her ear. She then let me know that her earwax tasted better than the dinner I made. In front of my whole family. FML

by Bailey / 04/05/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (British Columbia) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend referred me to me as "just a friend" to his ex. They swapped phone numbers. FML

by meohmy / 03/30/2011 at 9:10pm / United States (Texas) / Love

Today, at work, a coworker started to tell me about his weekend, without me even asking. Halfway through his story, I started to daydream and lost track of time. Bored, I told him, "Hey man, I'll call you back, I've got to get back to work." Then I remembered I wasn't on the phone. FML

by PFCdavila / 03/22/2011 at 11:46pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

by jabba / 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 9:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my older brother put tanning lotion in the lotion I use to masturbate with. Now I have orange palms and an orange penis which won't go away for weeks. FML

by caughtorangehanded / 10/01/2010 at 6:12pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

by Claire / 09/29/2010 at 1:59am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy

Today, I was on an airplane, riding in first class for the first time in my life. The man next to me turned to me just before takeoff, stared at my chest, and said that he hoped there would be severe turbulence. FML

by huj / 09/25/2010 at 5:49pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation